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A need to abstain


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Posted

Silly silly me. I have allowed him to lead me on for more than a year now. Everytime I raise the question of whether or not we are serious, he tells me he likes me, but he's extremely busy with work, which I completely understand. I mean I am not an unreasonable person. But at the same time I know that if he really wanted something with me, he'd try make it happen. Whilst we meet up every so often, we never, and i mean NEVER, had a proper date. The hard thing is that I have decided to move on a while ago, but everytime he gives me the slightest attention (even if its just a txt message), my heart softens, and I go right back to talking to him again.

 

This time, like many other times, I texted him to arrange a time to meet up and he had not replied and it has been more than a day. Waiting for a response is agonizing. So like many other times, I have decided that I will not talk to him again, and if he does initiate any sort of contact, I will say to him "it's over, I have moved on". All I need though, is the strength to do this! I think it would kill me when I say these words to him. :(

Posted

And you are having sex with this person? He is using you.

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Posted

no, i am not sleeping with him. We've only kissed once in the past year. But we always hang out. It's a rather juvenile situation. If we are having sex, then i'd see right through it, but with the way it is, i have no idea what he wants from me.

Posted

Doesn't look he wants much from you at all. Not sex, not romance, not time, not caring.

 

I would move on.

Posted

It kinda sounds like a casual friendship arrangement...? After all there's been little to no physical intimacy and no dates....maybe he doesn't realise this is what you think it is?

 

I wouldn't worry too much about waiting a day for a reply as sometimes people want to look cool in the early days of dating, but in the bigger picture of this scenario, it doesn't seem like there is any dating...often with friends, they leave it a while before returning each others messages and people generally never sweat that, so maybe that is what is going on here...?

Posted

I think if you text message him right now saying "Its over between us, im moving on", it will help you actually move on. He would proably text back right away, but just getting the words out there would help you.

 

Plus you really have to think about how many real relationships you must have passed up waiting for this guy.

Posted

Yeah, I think if you said to him that it's over he would be really confused. It sounds like you have an idea about the relationship that's different from his.

 

It sounds like he does like you, and your devotion to him is probably flattering, but just doesn't want a romantic relationship with you. How has he led you on? He's said he's too busy with work. And you know that if he wanted a romantic relationship he would make it happen.

 

Still, knowing how you felt about him, he should have probably ended it ages ago. He was probably just trying to be a nice guy.

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