BubbleBobble Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 My fiancé recently told me that he wasn't sure if he was in love with me, or if he simply loved me as his best friend. At the moment, we are taking a two week break for him to figure out his feelings. I know that we are doing the right thing by taking this break, and I admire him for having the courage to do this. He says that he loves me, and always wants me to be in my life -- he just doesn't know if he is in love. However, I really do feel as though he is in love with me. I can see it in the way that he looks at me, the things that he does for me. We haven't been fighting, we make each other laugh, he is my best friend and I am his. We are still making incredible memories. I have been dealing with depression, and I feel as though it has been taking a real toll on our relationship. Once the two weeks are up, we are going to decide if he wants to end it for good, and start over as boyfriend/girlfriend. Is it okay for him to have these doubts? Could this just be cold feet?
Exit Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Well you didn't go into detail about how your depression may have been affecting the relationship, but hopefully you will put these 2 weeks to good use and try to tackle some of your issues instead of just sitting there missing him and letting yourself stay in the exact same condition that he left you in. Not that I think depression can be conquered in two weeks, but you can start taking steps that will let him know you're aware of the problem and want to improve things. There's no real right or wrong about him feeling this way, it just happened. It sounds like he was as honest as he could be with you. Breaks are risky. Sometimes the person just doesn't have the backbone to dump you right then and there, so they suggest a break. Hopefully this isn't the case for you. Time apart can serve a purpose if you have been spending too much time together. There's nothing much you can do now. Give him his space, don't contact him. If he contacts you, you can either decide to respond, or tell him he's the one who suggested the break and you shouldn't be speaking with each other. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you sat around missing him. Go out with friends, have some fun, and let him worry that he's going to lose you if he doesn't make up his mind.
burningashes Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 The other poster gave you good advice. Don't sit around and wallow! It's counter-productive to your mental health! Go out with friends, hit the gym and do things to keep yourself occupied. You could go see a therapist, it would help get you started on resolving your depression. Don't contact him, I know you're probably dying to- but he needs to see what life is like without you. If he calls you, tell him that he was the one who wanted the break, that you guys shouldn't be speaking right now. You could respond, but he would still have you in his life. The point of the break is to see what it's like without you basically, and to decide if it's for him. If he loves you like he says, he won't like it and won't call it quits. But I have to emphasize on NO CONTACT- your absence would be more noticeable if you DON'T respond to his calls. It would hit home harder and force him to REALLY think about his choices. I know it's sooooo hard, but this is really the best way to go in this kind of situation. If he decides to end it regardless- well, that's a whole other story. Keep posting!
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