bac Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I have a question to men. My question is about the first communications by email when we are doing online dating like match.com or yahoo personals. I would like to understand how men are thinking when they emailing to females. For example, my female's logic is following: First, i check out picture, mostly eyes of the person, to see if i feel any chemistry. Second, i read profile, to see if there is a chance for chemistry. Third, I will ask specific questions in my emails which are key questions for me to figure out if he can turn me on. At this point in my communication I have a problem, because some men do not care to answer all my questions even they are short questions and there are a few of them. I do not understand that at all. Of course, I do not want to meet a man if he did not answer my questions because he is not cooperative, he has neglected me and I have no idea if he has any potential to turn me on. To me it is much easier to find out that there is no chemistry by a few first emails than to waste my time going to coffee place. Another thing is about sending pics before meeting. Sometimes I ask them to send a good pic of face and he would send a pic which is very poor quality. And he would not want to send another pic but he definitely wants to meet. Does it make any sense? Of course, I do not want to meet him because I even do not know how he looks. What is going in man's mind when he neglects to answer female's questions in the first emails? The same about sending clear pics? What is going in man's mind when he wants to meet you without getting to know you better via emails? Actually, in this situation he would be rejected much more often and if he would reject a female she would be more than happy. Do these men looking for very desperate females who would meet every man who emails them?
BobSacamento Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 The only time I refuse to answer a certain question is if it's too personal, too soon. Like I have been asked about my prior relationships, how many and all that crap. That is such a turn off. I think you lose some mystery when you divulge that crap. If a guy doesn't answer questions like, what do you do for work? do you live by yourself? - he's hiding something.
boogieboy Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Give an example of the questions you asked someone already.
BUENG1 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I have a question to men. My question is about the first communications by email when we are doing online dating like match.com or yahoo personals. I would like to understand how men are thinking when they emailing to females. For example, my female's logic is following: First, i check out picture, mostly eyes of the person, to see if i feel any chemistry. Second, i read profile, to see if there is a chance for chemistry. Third, I will ask specific questions in my emails which are key questions for me to figure out if he can turn me on. At this point in my communication I have a problem, because some men do not care to answer all my questions even they are short questions and there are a few of them. I do not understand that at all. Of course, I do not want to meet a man if he did not answer my questions because he is not cooperative, he has neglected me and I have no idea if he has any potential to turn me on. To me it is much easier to find out that there is no chemistry by a few first emails than to waste my time going to coffee place. Another thing is about sending pics before meeting. Sometimes I ask them to send a good pic of face and he would send a pic which is very poor quality. And he would not want to send another pic but he definitely wants to meet. Does it make any sense? Of course, I do not want to meet him because I even do not know how he looks. What is going in man's mind when he neglects to answer female's questions in the first emails? The same about sending clear pics? What is going in man's mind when he wants to meet you without getting to know you better via emails? Actually, in this situation he would be rejected much more often and if he would reject a female she would be more than happy. Do these men looking for very desperate females who would meet every man who emails them? Well some people on a dating site feel that too much email, chat whatever turns into a chatting buddy type arrangement and people don't want to waste their time. About the clear pictures I cant explain that one.
Author bac Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 Give an example of the questions you asked someone already. Where did your family originally come to the USA from?
huck Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Agree with Bueng1.. When I've been on Dating sites in the past theres only so much chatting/flirting you can do online.. Id rather know the basics and meet that person face to face to see if theres any kind of attraction or chemistry...
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Where did your family originally come to the USA from? That's it? Only one question and they won't answer it? LOL Maybe they're offended that you immediately assume they're not multi-generation Americans? I have no idea. When you ask that question, are you asking about someone's distant lineage? Like for instance, my parents didn't move here from Germany. But my mother's mother's parents were from Finland. Is that what you're getting after? Maybe they're thinking you assume they just stepped off the raft. LOL
BobSacamento Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Uh if your going to cut it off at least make it because of a good question. Like Do you have a wife? lol
loveslife Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I think that's kind of an unusual question to ask someone pre-dating. Why do you want to know? I would not be sure if I'd want to answer a question like that. But really, it's been my impression that meeting girls online is to guys like ordering a pizza. Most of them don't want to "waste time" communicating or getting to know you before they see you in person. Back in the day, there was something called love @ aol. This was before people had the capabilities to add photos to their personals. And people didn't have jpegs as a matter of course. I ended up corresponding with a few guys. One of them I emailed back and forth with for nearly a year before we met. It didn't ultimately work out but I wouldn't call that time emailing a waste. Back in the day people interacted with one another as a matter of course. In my opinion, it's less the norm for people to have rich, full lives out and about - we let things happen all in due time much more - and back when email was still fairly new, and there weren't text messages or video chat or the like, we didn't expect everything immediately. Some of us grew up writing and sending letters. And responses didn't always come right away. My short answer - it's a sign of the times.
clv0116 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 As for the picture thing ... I'm almost always behind the camera, and most of the recent pictures I have are either crappy cellphone-in-mirror shots because someone online asked for them or shots of me doing things, like riding or diving.
Author bac Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 That's it? Only one question and they won't answer it? LOL Maybe they're offended that you immediately assume they're not multi-generation Americans? I have no idea. When you ask that question, are you asking about someone's distant lineage? Like for instance, my parents didn't move here from Germany. But my mother's mother's parents were from Finland. Is that what you're getting after? Maybe they're thinking you assume they just stepped off the raft. LOL I just want to know his background:genetic, cultural, religious and other. For example, if his family was from Italy, Germany or other.
Author bac Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 I normally email as many girls as possible online, and then try to find out their personalities, looks and other aspects of the girls. Then I narrow down who I think will be compatible with me. In my opinion, no matter how well the girls describe about themselves and look they good in the photos they post on the dating sites, they might not be up to my expectations when I meet them in person. Do you answer their questions? If sometimes not, why?
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