now_what Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 My younger daughter is away for the weekend, my son was here for dinner but went out. My older daughter was here with her family but left. Soooo, I was all alone with four sleeping dogs and something possessed me and a put a profile on match.com. I've been divorced for almost three months now (after 30 years of marriage), my ex- husband left 9 months ago, my ex- husband also basically ignored me for almost a year before he left. I posted that I was just looking for a friend - maybe more. Does anyone think it is too soon to try to find some companionship? I've been without for so long - maybe it would help me forget my ex, not that I think about him personally that much. But I do think about him being married to someone else and me being alone. All advice will be appreciated.
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Well I do believe it was a little too soon especially after only 3 months but you've already done it so might as well stick with it. Who knows you may find someone.
Ronni_W Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Hey, now -- how's it going? No, I don't think it's too soon to start expanding your social network. As I'm reading it, you're not focused on finding "the next one"...or even wanting anything remotely "serious". Nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. Nothing wrong with wanting the company of the opposite sex. You deserve to have a fun and active social life. Period. Doesn't matter if it's been 3 months or 3 years, only matters if you feel ready to start meeting new people. And AFTER you meet them, then we start 'worrying' about what you want to do with them Hugs...and good luck with it.
Author now_what Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 Hi Ronni - Doing ok, still have a few bouts of being a bit pissed off by his nonsense or a little sad about how things have played out - but trying to enjoy life and stay busy. You're right, not looking for anything serious, just friends for now - but you never know. I have been out of the dating scene FOREVER, so I didn't think it would hurt just to stick my toe in the water. Thanks for the post.
Mary3 Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Be leary and very careful with the online dating sites. Many men are actually married and listing themselves as single. Never meet anyone except in a public place. EVER.. If you do order a drink make sure the Bartender hands it directly to you and that you take it with you to the bathroom or order a new one on your way back. Be prepared for MANY profiles where the picture is 24 years old. As in the last time he looked good , lol. The man is 6 inches shorter than the profile states. His weight is triple what he claims. Not to be negative . You may find a really great guy that is HONEST about everything. You are lonely. Which makes you vulnerable. Another tip : If all he wants to do is email after 2 weeks then likely he does not want to meet. Make it a point at some time to try and MEET . Never take your profile down at the urging of someone you just met. Unless he is amazing , he has competition until YOU find the right guy. Remember dating is * fun * . Its an exploratory time. LEARN about the man you are * dating *. Once you get to know him well , only then should you become exclusive.
Shygirl15 Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 There's no such thing as "too soon". You have to move on with your life, and considering you're not exactly young anymore, there's nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and talk to a few people. Just be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs along the way. Seriously ugly frogs. But hopefully your prince charming will emerge someday and you'll live happily ever after.. Also Mary has lots of great advice on her post, you may want to pay attention to that.
Author now_what Posted June 29, 2009 Author Posted June 29, 2009 Alone again tonight, alone again last night. I posted my profile but I did not subscribe yet. Someone looked at my profile but I can't see who it is until I become a paying member - I'm really curious. After posting my profile, it showed my top match to be a man who is showing his occupation in the physician/dentist/veterinarian catagory and he likes dogs. Sounds right up my alley lol. I think I'll pay the money.
Author now_what Posted July 6, 2009 Author Posted July 6, 2009 Hey, someone has winked at me on match.com. He's kind of cute, we have some things in common. A bit scared to wink back, but kind of excited at the same time.
LisaUk Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 You go girl, it's not to soon if you feel ready. I've heard good things about match, friends tell me of two couples they know married and another two marrying soon. Be careful though and be safe!
EmperorR Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 at worst its a confidence booster, heck last time i got dumped ten minutes later I was on a dating site, not looking for a relationship etc. just hanging out etc.
Mary3 Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Alone again tonight, alone again last night. I posted my profile but I did not subscribe yet. Someone looked at my profile but I can't see who it is until I become a paying member - I'm really curious. After posting my profile, it showed my top match to be a man who is showing his occupation in the physician/dentist/veterinarian catagory and he likes dogs. Sounds right up my alley lol. I think I'll pay the money. You understand that unless you pay , you wont reap the benefits of knowing and reading your email. But because I did pay once and quickly cancelled , I recommend you go to the free sites like PlentyOfFish ( not that I had much luck there but its free ) You may take the stance that since you are paying you might get your moneys worth. You just might. Just remember to give it 30 to 60 days to see what happens. You can cancel . Then hit the free sites.
moo Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 If you are still really hurting then it might be too soon. To do the dating site thing, you have to be really confident. The experiences you can have with men on those sites can reallly lower your confidence. If you are really hurting and you need to get strong, I suggest you find some pen pals with only women right now...from all over the world, and you join some online groups for women only. If you are really vulnerable, having friendly relations with a man can be counterproductive. You make look more into the friendship that there really is and get hurt all over again. If your emotionally vulnerable, and haven't healed, that might be counterproductive. I joined a dating service website and I explained I wasn't looking to date, just to talk. I took my profile down after a few hours. It's also good to learn how to be able be by yourself and like it. Take up a hobby you can get lost in. Volunteer to work with people in need- ex: a nursing home, where you can just hang out with people who want someone to talk to. Volunteer in the pedicatric wing of your local hospital. Check out the organizations in your area. Take a painting class for beginners. Volunteer at your local museum.
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