Lizzie60 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 This thread is hilarious... a rag! who would take off their undies when they need a rag... What if he has a 'no 2' accident.. and was too embarrassed.. since you probably do the laundry and he ripped off the 'evidence'.. then hide the underpants. Was there any skid marks? Methink he took them off for some odd reasons (only HE knows)... then completely forgot about it. Advice: (I hope you kept them)... make sure there is a pair missing (so that you can be sure they're his)... then confront them with the 'evidence' (use gloves)...
Author sadangrywife Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 This thread is hilarious... a rag! who would take off their undies when they need a rag... What if he has a 'no 2' accident.. and was too embarrassed.. since you probably do the laundry and he ripped off the 'evidence'.. then hide the underpants. Was there any skid marks? Methink he took them off for some odd reasons (only HE knows)... then completely forgot about it. Advice: (I hope you kept them)... make sure there is a pair missing (so that you can be sure they're his)... then confront them with the 'evidence' (use gloves)... Why not just throw them away? Why hide them? Why rip any part of them off and then hide them? Where would the ripped off part be then? They are torn, as in all of the fabric is there but torn. He could have kept them in his car and I would have never found them or at least he could have kept them there and gotten rid of them after I went to bed. It's almost like he wants to get caught. When he called a phone sex line, he was home alone on a Saturday. I got home and for some reason pushed redial on the phone and the greeting for the phone sex line played. He could have called information or something afterward to cover it up but he didn't. That night when I said to him that I thought he opened the cabinet outside (it makes noise) on his way inside I think (but I'm not sure) was a night when he came home later than planned. The pieces if they are from the same night (I don't remember) add up to him being somewhere after work, getting home late, opening that cabinet, then coming inside the house. I never even thought to look outside because my defenses have been down. The last incident was in Sept 2008 when he called a phone sex line or at least the last incident I was aware of. I had a false sense of security I guess.
Lizzie60 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Hum... if you press 'redial' when you get home.. you don't trust your husband very much. He is probably cheating.. (most men do)... you know it deep down.. you just can't 'prove' it... and might never be able to.. I think your husband is either dumb or he just doesn't care if he gets caught because you'll probably do like most women do... keep him.. and suffer in silence and drive yourself crazy thinking about it... sorry if I'm so blunt.. but your case is soooo typical of the other zillion other cases of 'lack of trust' on a cheating husband..
Crow9726 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 It would appear I am in the minority on this...but hiding torn underwear in such a way just makes no sense. It is obviously...at least to me...something simple and probably innocent. I am a typical man in many ways...torn stuff gets recycled as something else. My ex wife used all kinds of old clothes...yes...underwear sometimes included...as clean up rags for home projects. If he has given you reason not to trust him, then I can understand your suspicions. However...assuming he is not a complete idiot...evidence of an illicit tryst would not be so easily forgotten. This whole thing seems to have been blown out of proportion. Sorry if my taking this opposing view upsets anyone. I'm just trying to present another point of view since the majority of posters on this thread have already indicted the man.
JamesM Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I immediately go to "he's cheating" because anytime anything is weird around here like that it usually points to something bad. I feel just beaten down by this issue over and over again. But something in my gut tells me this isn't good. And to me, this says it all. You feel that there is cheating, and most likely there is. The fact remains is that he has done it more than once. The other thing is...if he wanted to appear as trustworthy as possible, then he would have brought dirty or ripped underwear to you or let you know what happened. Between most husbands and wives, such a minor incident would be an open issue. If I tore underwear or caused an uncleanable stain, then I would have tossed it in the garbage. If my wife discovered it, who cares. Usually the gut is right. Hum... if you press 'redial' when you get home.. you don't trust your husband very much. He is probably cheating.. (most men do)... you know it deep down.. you just can't 'prove' it... and might never be able to.. I think your husband is either dumb or he just doesn't care if he gets caught because you'll probably do like most women do... keep him.. and suffer in silence and drive yourself crazy thinking about it... sorry if I'm so blunt.. but your case is soooo typical of the other zillion other cases of 'lack of trust' on a cheating husband.. Well said.
Author sadangrywife Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 It would appear I am in the minority on this...but hiding torn underwear in such a way just makes no sense. It is obviously...at least to me...something simple and probably innocent. I am a typical man in many ways...torn stuff gets recycled as something else. My ex wife used all kinds of old clothes...yes...underwear sometimes included...as clean up rags for home projects. If he has given you reason not to trust him, then I can understand your suspicions. However...assuming he is not a complete idiot...evidence of an illicit tryst would not be so easily forgotten. This whole thing seems to have been blown out of proportion. Sorry if my taking this opposing view upsets anyone. I'm just trying to present another point of view since the majority of posters on this thread have already indicted the man. I understand what you are saying and believe me I want you to be right. I do agree with what you have said about if he wasn't a complete idiot he would not have forgotten the evidence. Especially since he needs to walk past that cabinet to get to the car, walk our dogs etc. It's not like it's out of sight out of mind. I can't imagine hiding something for a reason like that and forgetting about it. You would think if he felt guilt it would weigh on him and he would remember. Maybe I'm dealing with someone who simply feels no guilt and is so detatched from reality and what he is doing that he's careless. Just to give you some idea of who he is (or who he has been to me). He's a very sweet person and I mean that genuinely. I think he is very troubled and he has a side to him he can't deal with. I honestly think he has some psychological issues. He's the product of an affair his mom had. He didn't know his dad was not his biological dad until he was 14 when it came out in an argument. He has a lot of shame from that and has been seeing but not recently a psychologist at my demand. He has never met his bio father and doesn't want to. He could be dead for all he knows by now. In many ways it seems like my husband has two lives. One that is sweet and nice and a very loving person and one where he sinks into despair and acts out. I have never nor would ever cheat on him. He has no worries there and its not out of retaliation that he seems to do these things. Sex addict? Maybe. He's like two people and its hard to condemn the one I love and married. It's just so hard to deal with.
jj33 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Why hide dirty underwear? You throw it away in a plastic bag at the mall or in some public receptacle. You dont leave brown stained holey underwear around the house or the patio. If you dont trust him, trust your instincts. But I wouldnt necessarily tie it to the underwear. Maybe he decided they would make a good rag, was using it to clean something (does he have a work shed or something out there) and they ripped. Its far fetched but it sounds like a situation where truth is going to turn out to be stranger than fiction.
Author sadangrywife Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 We'll see tomorrow. He really is on a camping trip I'm not worried at all about that. I'm thinking that when he gets home, I'll just have him come outside with me, and then I'll open the cabinet and look at him without saying a word and see what he does or says. I'll see if his reaction is nervous or whatever and then let him do all the talking. One thing that I have learned in all of this is that if you are quiet enough with a confrontation, a guilty person will usually try to talk to fill up the silence out of nervousness. I'm not that great at it because its my nature to talk and talk the truth out of someone. But the thing that is bugging me more than anything - despite how they got torn, why did he have them off at all? I mean, if it was an innocent thing that they got torn, why not just wear them home from work or wherever? Then, the next question - why leave them outside at all? I can't get my brain around this one at all.
Art_Critic Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Why on earth would dry bug ridden, dirty torn-up underwear make you think he is cheating He obviously used them for some sort of a rag.. maybe together with a tool of some sort.. A rag used with a pair of pliars maybe ?.. covering the item up to protect from marring with the pliers.. then he realized he ruined them and threw them down stairs... I do think you have some serious trust issues to deal with though..
Lizzie60 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 You know.. the more I think about it.. the more I think he used it as a rag.. although I thought it was ridiculous... but why would he throw it for you to find them... that would be dumb.. I think that, since they were ripped... he used them for some kind of odd 'jobs'.. because the more I think about it... let's say he had just cheated, he would have thrown them somewhere he would have been sure you'd never find them. I'm not saying he's not cheating though.. I think he is.. and I think you know it too..
Author sadangrywife Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 Can't he take few our of those few days and do stuff behind your back? Say, he supposed to leave for this trip at 6 pm, but he left at 3 pm and then to the trip at 6 pm. Or, he suppose to be at home tomorrow at 8 am, but he comes home at 11 am to do "stuff." Would you know? He's with family and they go every year. He's with uncles, cousins and such and they fish and camp (total wilderness) and there are always photos proving who was there. Trust me, I'm suscpicious of a lot of things but that is one thing I know with absolute certainty. He's on his trip like he said he would be. Did you read my first post on the top of page 2 of this thread? I think I have a good theory/explaination for why he left it outside. Let me ask you this....let's say you had an affair with your boss at the office in the bathroom and he ripped your bra. Are you comfortable with throwing it in the garbage can at work? Are you perfectly comfortable with throwing them away on the street on your way home from work? (some people are not). If your boss has ripped your bras a few times and you had hid them and then dispose them, eventually, after few more times, you might have problem remembering where you hid them or just out of carelessness, forgot to get rid of them. I did read that post and it is definitely a major concern of mine. The first thing I thought of was "who was he with after work"? My heart jumped out of my chest because I had a vague recollection of him going into that cabinet (it makes a loud noise when it closes) on his way in from the car after work one night and thought it was odd. The more I remember and piece things together the more I have this awful scenario - he met up with someone after work for a quickie, something happened where his boxers were ripped, he of course had his pants off and didn't put the boxers back on because they were torn. Walked in from the car, realized I was still awake (lights still on) stashed them in the cabinet and forgot. How he could possibly forget I don't know. Like I said, he has to walk past that cabinet four or five times a day.
jj33 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Yes but that doesnt explain why they are so dirty - its kind of disgusting really. Dirty gross ripped underwear with 2 holes in the back? Lets just hope its a rag. otherwise theres something potentially very kinky going on there
hurtinguy Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 He is probably cheating.. (most men do)... y Sorry to hit you on this Lizzie But I don't agree with that statement..........some men do and some women do.......I happen to be a man in the same boat as others on here. I am being cheated on!!! Sorry to vent, that statement just struck a chord.
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Every 3 out of 4 men cheat. Look it up! Why all this talk about the underwear being used for a rag? That is nonsense! I'm sure they have plenty of rags in their home without him figuring "oh well, I'll take my boxers OFF and used those as a rag" as opposed to going in the house to get one. Why are his underwear off his body at all? I smell a rag. I mean a rat!!!! LOL
Jilly Bean Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 First off, I don't see how HIS undies in HIS house is considered grounds for suspicion of cheating. I thought this thread was about finding a woman's undies. lol Secondly, I still don't see how his bug-infested and torn shorts, found in the garage, is even remotely a sign of cheating. Is this a Candid Camera post?
LakesideDream Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 No judgements here just a cute story. For Christmas in 1996 I think my wife bought me a beautiful (and expensive) Pendelton bath robe. I loved it. A few weeks later Poof! it dissappeared. We all (kids included) looked for that bath robe. We had our own laundry so we knew it wasn't lost going to a laundrymat. We all scratched our heads wondering where it went. Chalk it up to alien abduction. Five years later, a week after the divorce I was going through some boxes she left behind. Lo and Behold! My Pendelton bath robe. I was overcome with joy! Short lived as it turned out. I tried it on, or tried to. My wrist hardly fit in the arm hole. Seems my wife had tried to wash it, instead of the dry cleaning as it said on the tag. It ended up going from a 2x adult to a boys medium in that wash. She was embarrassed, and stashed it away. We actually laughed about it a couple of years later when we were talking about unrelated adult kid business. Just sayin.... Could the hubby have been embarrassed at having ripped up something that his wife had given him? Back to the top please. No judgements.
D-Lish Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 See my posts on this thread for explainations. Seriously, we've all seen the post, you're no Columbo.
Island Girl Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Every 3 out of 4 men cheat. Look it up! I did some research and can not find support of this number. Could you post your source? That statistics I find are 60% of men and 40% of women...usually by the age of 40
Lucky_One Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I've had affair sex, and I've had non-affair sex, and I've had married sex, and I've had single sex. But I have never had sex where a pair of boxer shorts gets two holes torn in the fabric. I think there is some serious reaching for trouble here.
Island Girl Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 But I have never had sex where a pair of boxer shorts gets two holes torn in the fabric. Lucky you. I've had various mishaps. One of them -- hot pull over car sex - had his underwear on one leg and wrapped around the emergency break through the other leg hole -- the "activity" engaged the emergency break and ripped a hole clean through one side...
Lyssa Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Creeks, you keep calling everyone hater when they call you out. What's up with that?
2sunny Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 i think the fact that her gut is saying something seems odd is the most important clue. she can't just ask and expect to get a truthful answer because he obviously went to the effort to hide something about the undies to begin with... so, the fact that it was necessary for the article to become a secret obviously means that something "odd" happened to said undies. personally, i like the flagpole solution the best - but that's just my wicked sense of humor in appreciation for a straight forward approach to a really bad dilemma. then i also wonder if it's possible to do one of those semen tests on them... i also wonder if it would show any proof of a woman's secretions... it wouldn't truly show what the truth is of what happened - but it may give a solid indicator if there is a good reason to demand an explanation.
2sunny Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Stop hating on me. please creeks - if you plan to post - make it something useful that pertains to the thread. and that doesn't mean that we need you to point out ten times to refer to something else that was already posted and read by all.
sugarmomma Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I did some research and can not find support of this number. Could you post your source? That statistics I find are 60% of men and 40% of women...usually by the age of 40 Okay IG, 6 out of 10 or 3 out of 5. Either way they are some cheating mofos. My new motto is why buy the pig when all I need is a little sausage!! I still smell a rat!! He took his drawers off his body and stashed them!!
Recommended Posts