DeLaDaisy Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 In March, I impulsively decided to get a tattoo. I went to a recommended shop and to make this part short, I had a crush on the guy who did my tattoo. I wound up going back to talk to him about another one and to see what he was up to. It seemed very professional and platonic at that point. When I went back a third time, everyone told me he had left the shop for undisclosed reasons. I was bummed, but figured that since I didn't get to know him that well, it wasn't a big loss. Well, three months later, I get a random text message from him. He asked me about a trip I told him I was going on and talked to me about the tattoo I wanted and that he went to work at another shop. It seemed like he was just trying to get my business until he asked me if I was still seeing my now ex-boyfriend. I told him I wasn't and he said "how about i take you out for some coffee?" well i agreed and he didn't talk to me for four days. i wasn't sure if he decided it was a bad idea or what but i texted him late at night 4 days later and he said "weird i was just thinking about texting you but i didn't think youd be up." we texted throughout the night and it was nice. then we finally made a date for thursday to get coffee. this whole time, we didn't talk on the phone once. on thursday we set something up for 5. then it got pushed back to seven and then seven thirty. when we finally met up i was stunned at how good he looked, but i think i underestimated his age. he looked older than i remembered. this made me a little nervous and i casually inquired about his age. well, it turns out that im twenty and he's twenty eight. now, we had a nice time talking and drinking tea and he paid and held all the doors for me and walked me arm and arm to my car, but i felt like the whole time he had the upper hand and was using techniques of experience. well, he texted me later that night at about 330 in the morning but i was sleeping so i missed it. he doesn't call, only texts, is eight years older than me and i have no idea what his intentions are. i want to go out with him again, and im going to, but truthfully, i would like to date him for at least a few months and not just be a toy to him. how should i approach the situation, or make myself understood without having to really state the fact? And could he have a girlfriend and just want to have fun? what could his intentions be?
boogieboy Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 You cant control whether or not he will take you seriously. You will just have to risk losing his interest by dating him for a few months, I assume without sex? Only he will determine if you are interesting enough to be taken seriously.
D-Lish Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Who knows what his intentions are, he may just be feeling things out to see where it goes. You won't know unless you go out with him a few times. Don't ask him his intentions! Also- If he asks you out again and doesn't text or call for a couple days after, DON'T chase him by texting him!
Author DeLaDaisy Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 You will just have to risk losing his interest by dating him for a few months, I assume without sex? well, no not without sex. i just want to hold off on that aspect until i feel a little more sure of the situation. if i stay with him for a few months (3-6+) i would most likely want to take it to that level.
RavenHair Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I don't trust a guy that only texts. To me, that's a red flag. Also, if you have to ask yourself about his intentions, don't waste your time. Something is making you question the situation you're in. Listen to it and open yourself up to meet someone who thinks enough of you to pick up the phone and CALL you.
Lucky_One Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 You don't KNOW that he doesn't have a GF or wife?
boogieboy Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 well, no not without sex. i just want to hold off on that aspect until i feel a little more sure of the situation. if i stay with him for a few months (3-6+) i would most likely want to take it to that level. If you make him wait 3-6 months, you will either lose him in 2, or he will have someone else to have sex with while hes dating you-if hes smart.
Author DeLaDaisy Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 If you make him wait 3-6 months, you will either lose him in 2, or he will have someone else to have sex with while hes dating you-if hes smart. okay, well, im not a prude. im extremely attracted to him and i most likely will only wait about 2-4 more dates depending on how it feels becuase i can't hold off that long. I'm saying i want to date him for that long.
kiki30 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 if he only texts you...he's not trying to get to know you he's keeping you on-call when he is not preoccupied with his girlfriend or wife. Big red flag, beware this is pretty consistent with guys who are cheating!
Lucky_One Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I'd make a joke of it the next time he calls to ask you for coffee or a date: "And does your GF mind if we go out again?" in a teasing voice. 'Cause I wouldnt' go out with him again if I didn't know for sure that he wasn't already involved. For some reason, he is giving off that "involved" vibe to me.
AlektraClementine Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 What I have learned is this. If a man is truly interested in you, he will prove it to you. He will call. Not only will he call, but he will call swiftly to make sure he beats any other guys to the punch. Especially since finding out you're single again. I don't dig on the idea that he's 28 and you're 20. You're not even legal drinking age and he's been at it for 8 years. If you were in your 40s, no big deal. This guy has other women in his life, I'm guessing. Women his own age. Tattoo guys get a lot of dates, btw. DO NOT sleep with him. I beg of you. You can do better. My guess is he's keeping you interested because it's a story for him to tell his buddies. But he's not going to bring you around them. If he were sincere about you, you'd know it by now.
BobSacamento Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Listen these people all going ape **** over the texting BS are just attention whores. Anyway, he is not in relationship with you. He has no obligation to you. The only thing he's obligated to do is ask you out. He's done that. If he wants to do that again he will. I honeslty think there's a bigger risk of looking too clingy if you decide to text him before he decides what he wants to do next.
Trialbyfire Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Chasing a man is useless. Forget trying to figure his intentions out. Let him show you what he's all about with a combination of words and actions that mesh. Back right off and continue dating around.
loveslife Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I agree with a bunch of what's been said so far - 1. It's useless to chase guys. 2. If you're unsure of his intentions that means you don't feel he's either sincere or all that interested. 3. If he only texts you that means he is unavailable in some form or another. 4. There's a huge difference between 20 and 28. It sounds like your instincts are kicking in here and you should listen to them. There really are plenty of other fish in the sea. Don't have sex with him if you're unsure.
alpha wizard Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 If you'd let him stick a needle in you, what's a little weiner gonna hurt?
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