babiedoll131984 Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 I want to hear the stories of people have that gotten over a break up. Is your life better now? New with the NC and I just want to know that I will get past the pain.
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Okay I'll tell you my recent break up. Well maybe not so recent it happened about three months ago. I was with my girlfriend who was the only one to date that ever returned my Love (all my other relationships the Love was never really returned or shown). We were happy and where completely in Love with each other. I myself had a committed some mistakes (no, not cheating, i disapprove of that) and coupled with her family pressures she decided to "take a break" which in the long run became permanent. I tried to establish no contact but she still wanted us to be friends and I submitted to her will. BIG MISTAKE. I couldn't get past my feelings and she slowly started pushing me away. I finally decided to say enough was enough. I was chasing her, calling her, and praying for her return and realized I was hurting myself and that that's not what I should be doing. So I established no contact after three months. Now I'm over her and am gladly making friendships (hopefully to transform into a relationship) I am healthier and happier than I ever was before. Hope this helps.
MichiganMan222 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I was with someone for two years. We had great sex, but fought a lot. She was very insecure and couldn't accept my female friends. She hated loving me and we broke up a few times for a few days at a time. Finally she met someone while we were still together. She would hang out with him as a friend, but they got emotionally attached. The emotional part of our relationship disappeared. She only wanted sex from me. It was like I was the 'other guy'. She finally told me no more because she couldn't get over me if we kept sleeping together. By now i knew about the other guy. I went NC. They became an exclusive couple. I was hurt and spent maybe 2 weeks trying to get her to work it out. She refused. I started dating, but it sucked. I missed her. I went on a dozen dates or so in a few months. I was frustrated, hurt, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Couldn't stand the thought of her with someone else. I had given up dating for awhile. Too disappointing. Then a friend asked if I wanted to meet her friend. I said 'fine'. No expectations. We met and connected. We fell in love quickly and plan to get married. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I now look back and am so grateful my last relationship ended.
Heaven11 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I'm new with it 2. Actually my situation is a lil different. I'm in a relationship that goes thru silent treatments after every big argument. I get the treatment when he does something 2 upset me. Never the other way around. I react. Then he vanishes. Then comes back. It sux. I'm in2 day 5 of no contact this time. His choice. Always his choice. After years of bottling up and getting no advice I just joined this site and spilled my guts. It's long, but I wrote my "story" under Breaks and Breakups with the title "strange behavior or cheating?" If u think it's hard going thru it; imagine going thru it over and over and over because every time it happens he begs u back and u keep trying? That's where I'm at. This time I'm done. I think no contact is either a sign it's over, or at least should be!!! I can understand maybe a day or two... if there's a lot of anger..... but in my case it can go on 4 a over a week or 2 at a time. This time when he calls it'll be different. I'm taking NiceGuy4Ever's & dropping him like a rock. These people r either trying 2 control, playing games, cheating or really don't care! I think no contact is cruel. There's no real closure esp. when it happens like in my case. We're all happy & lovey one minute then all hell breaks loose and by the end of the day we're "thru." Not a man I want 2 spend the rest of my life with!!!! It HURTS I know.... I'm very hurt. Can't sleep/eat/all of that either.
sugarmomma Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I am so glad he's outta my life. Caused me nothing but heartache and disappointment. Best thing that could have happened to me and I never would have guessed that I would be looking at the situation this way.
Author babiedoll131984 Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 Thank you so much. I hurt so much I didn't know if I would ever get over it. Now I have a little hope
aboynamedmike Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 hey babiedoll, i'm in the same boat you are. I just ended a relationship with a girl who was my first love, and my first sexual partner. Being physical was great, and we shared out moments of fun and happiness. But long story short, she cheated on me totally outta the blue, and we were on and off for a few months. I eventually found myself in a tough situation. I would call her and want to hang out...but then i'd get there and i would feel like i had no more feelings for her. Everything she did just seemed to annoy me and i knew i couldn't pretend that everything was ok. I loved her so much, but I knew breaking up would be better for both of us. I could not pretend to be happy with someone who I found annoying the majority of the time. But it's been 4 days since I broke it off and I've been up and down. One minute I'm glad i'm not with her, then I've gotten to the point of missing her so much I broke NC and sent me a txt message(with no reply). Just wanted you to know that I feel ur pain and I really wish I could just move on easily, but this is the way it goes. This is how the healing process works. Good luck girl
Author babiedoll131984 Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 hey babiedoll, i'm in the same boat you are. I just ended a relationship with a girl who was my first love, and my first sexual partner. Being physical was great, and we shared out moments of fun and happiness. But long story short, she cheated on me totally outta the blue, and we were on and off for a few months. I eventually found myself in a tough situation. I would call her and want to hang out...but then i'd get there and i would feel like i had no more feelings for her. Everything she did just seemed to annoy me and i knew i couldn't pretend that everything was ok. I loved her so much, but I knew breaking up would be better for both of us. I could not pretend to be happy with someone who I found annoying the majority of the time. But it's been 4 days since I broke it off and I've been up and down. One minute I'm glad i'm not with her, then I've gotten to the point of missing her so much I broke NC and sent me a txt message(with no reply). Just wanted you to know that I feel ur pain and I really wish I could just move on easily, but this is the way it goes. This is how the healing process works. Good luck girl Thank you Mike. I just keep looking at all these other people that that gone through a break up are doing a million times better, so that is helping. But I thought I was going to marry this guy. Guess I was wrong. I will find my way through this
waitingpatiently Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Trust me, you WILL get over it. It's been 2 months since the breakup of my 9 month relationship, and I'm about as happy as I've been in a while. Of course in the beginning you'll feel like you'll never get over it, or move on, but you will. No more crying, and it feels GREAT. Yea I still miss him sometimes, but that relationship was no good for me, and being out of it was the best thing that happened to me.lol You will get to this point to when you accept that it's OVER. I slowed my healing process down so many times by thinking I should go back to him. When I finally told myself enough is enough, that's when I really started having all HAPPY days.
Beeotch Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I want to hear the stories of people have that gotten over a break up. Is your life better now? New with the NC and I just want to know that I will get past the pain. The truth is...you are going to go through periods of up and down. My ex and I broke up in March and I started NC maybe 3 weeks now (well LC as I spoke to him last Sunday for a couple minutes)....and I mean it is an up and down experience. Some days I feel completely liberated and happy and strong in my decision and I feel hopeful of the future and my new lovelife and some days I feel lonely, sad or tempted to talk to him. But the thing is, I have to really catch my feelings and realize that I have to let them pass....the loneliness and stuff lasts a short while. I would rather go through a night of feeling sad than doing something with more lasting consequences that will make me feel worst in the long run (like emailing him my feelings etc). I have come a long way and while I am not at the place where I am completely over him, I can say you WILL get to that place as I have not cried about this situation in about 2 months or so when before I would cry at least weekly, I would email and text all the time...and now I don't even feel that urge to contact him. So you DO make progress albeit it seems like it is slooowww and takes forever, but you just have to vow to stick it out and to make wise choices and to really ignore some of your feelings. I think of some of them like hallucinations, it may look real but it is NOT so no use taking it seriously.It's really about finding ways to ride out this tough time (support from a close friend to vent with, going out, keeping busy, reading sites like this, reading good books, anything). No one can put a time frame on when you personally will feel better but things like NC and so forth help (although it may not seem like it). During this time I said to myself "The medicine that does the job does not always taste the best". It is true. But bottomline is: IT DOES GET BETTER. Certain choices prolong it though and certain others help.
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