My ex is seeing another guy but still calls

[notsureofanything]

Ok so here is the deal. I'm 30 (IT Professional lost my job late last yr) my ex is 29 (Bartender/Will graduate with Act. degree in Dec.) and the guy she is seeing is a 25 yr. old bartender (Soon to be graduating with Advertising.) I'm told he is a male whore, a drunk, immature, but is head over heels for her. We were together for 1yr. 8mos. and I work with my ex at a bar on the wknds and she works with this other guy in a bar during the week. She has never been a very physical person and relies more on an emotional and mental relationship which most guys have a hard time with but I accepted it. Around 3mos. ago we broke up short term because she found 4mos. of emails from me to an ex from almost 16yrs ago that was deported to Mexico and still lives there talking about meeting up and wondering if there would be a chance we could ever make it again. There wasn't any depth other than wondering if we could make it, I didn't ask her any in depth questions it was basically me talking 16 yrs. ago. My ex was extremely hurt and lost my trust and we had a vacation planned 3 days after she found out. She moved some stuff back in to her parents we went on vacation and when we got home she started bringing her stuff back. I don't think she gave herself enough time and things just fell back to the same old ways. 4 weeks ago we were looking at townhomes together she'd been living with me in a small condo for over a year and had most her stuff in storage, but still has most her stuff here and I have her dog. She's wanted marriage, kids, family, and home between us for a long time and she always felt I wasn't committed to these things. So anyway I figured it was time to start looking. The next week she broke things off with me and said she needed her space and she had other interests. I had an intuition it was this guy and it was! The first week we were broken up she called a couple times but mostly sent txt's. Her and this new guy were out immediately after we broke up drinking together constantly. She came over on a Wed. to pick things up and I completely broke down like she'd never seen before. I told her that she was the one I wanted to marry, have a family with, and make our dreams come true. I also told her to date to see if she could find something better out there and that this was what we needed. That wknd we worked together and it was pretty tough I kept asking her questions and it started getting to her so I finally left her alone. Sat. night I left her along and didn't say anything and then the txt's came at 2:30am saying she was sorry for how she acted, and when I didn't respond she asked if I was ignoring her I just told her I was giving her her space. Sun. came around and she called twice once early in the day and another in the evening, I was out at a bar she was sad and said she was in bed with the bear I gave her and didn't want to go out, that she couldn't believe I'd gotten over this so quick. I explained I hadn't but was trying to keep my mind off of it by going out and told her to do the same. Week 2 she called Tues., Fri., and Sat. we had small talk but nothing about the relationship. She did say she loved and missed me but wasn't sure of anything. I heard from a close friend of hers that this guy was really into her but she wasn't reciprocating which is odd since they are out drinking every night and she stays at his place. The manager of the bar told her he cared for both us and needed to know if there was a chance between us or she needed to let me go, she told him she felt there was a "Chance" On Sun. I called her and asked her for coffee cause I needed to talk and get things off my chest she asked if this meant I was going to tell her I didn't want to talk to her anymore and I said no. She was busy getting her car fixed and asked if we could get drinks on Mon. after work and I agreed. Week 3 She called Mon. and said she wasn't feeling good and maybe we could get lunch Thur. and she'd have more time to spend. We had some small talk and agreed. She called me Tues. and it was just small talk no relationship but I know she went out with the guy and stayed at his place. Wed. she was out with him again and stayed at his place, but I sent a txt Wed. night and asked if we were still on. She said sure around 4,5pm but had to work at 8pm. I told her I thought she wanted to spend more time together but that whatever was fine with me. I didn't hear back till Thurs. morn. She called at 9am and asked to come over. I told her sure, she showed up in pajamas which means she planned to stay with him the prev. night. She told me she stayed at his place, that she slept on the couch (I'm not stupid), and she told him she hanging out with me (I don't believe it). I talked about some things and how I was feeling and she listened she said she was still afraid of getting hurt, missed me, but didn't think she could give herself to anyone. She fell asleep in my lap as I tickled her head and back. When she got up I told her I might be moving for a job, she said she didn't want me to go that she would miss me, but understood and also talked about possible scenarios if we got back together. She told me she was moving out of her parents and would prob. grab her stuff this Sat. She grabbed a couple of things and I walked her to her car. As she drove by me she stopped and rolled the window down again and said bye! I sent her a txt that night and said I had an awesome time, hope she liked the massage, and hoped she felt better. I received a txt today saying she wasn't moving now till next week because the closing was moved back and thanks for the massage. I just don't know what to do? I want to wait for her (because I want to be with her the rest of my life) but I don't know how long I can continue doing this, I don't know how long is enough? I don't know if this is a rebound? PLEASE HELP

[boogieboy]

Ugh, our school system has failed us. Im reposting so it can be read.

 

Ok so here is the deal. I'm 30 (IT Professional lost my job late last yr) my ex is 29 (Bartender/Will graduate with Act. degree in Dec.) and the guy she is seeing is a 25 yr. old bartender (Soon to be graduating with Advertising.) I'm told he is a male whore, a drunk, immature, but is head over heels for her.

 

We were together for 1yr. 8mos. and I work with my ex at a bar on the wknds and she works with this other guy in a bar during the week. She has never been a very physical person and relies more on an emotional and mental relationship which most guys have a hard time with but I accepted it.

 

Around 3mos. ago we broke up short term because she found 4mos. of emails from me to an ex from almost 16yrs ago that was deported to Mexico and still lives there talking about meeting up and wondering if there would be a chance we could ever make it again. There wasn't any depth other than wondering if we could make it, I didn't ask her any in depth questions it was basically me talking 16 yrs. ago. My ex was extremely hurt and lost my trust and we had a vacation planned 3 days after she found out.

 

She moved some stuff back in to her parents we went on vacation and when we got home she started bringing her stuff back. I don't think she gave herself enough time and things just fell back to the same old ways. 4 weeks ago we were looking at townhomes together, she'd been living with me in a small condo for over a year and had most her stuff in storage, but still has most her stuff here and I have her dog.

 

She's wanted marriage, kids, family, and home between us for a long time and she always felt I wasn't committed to these things. So anyway I figured it was time to start looking. The next week she broke things off with me and said she needed her space and she had other interests. I had an intuition it was this guy and it was! The first week we were broken up she called a couple times but mostly sent txt's. Her and this new guy were out immediately after we broke up drinking together constantly.

 

She came over on a Wed. to pick things up and I completely broke down like she'd never seen before. I told her that she was the one I wanted to marry, have a family with, and make our dreams come true. I also told her to date to see if she could find something better out there and that this was what we needed. That wknd we worked together and it was pretty tough I kept asking her questions and it started getting to her so I finally left her alone.

 

Sat. night I left her along and didn't say anything and then the txt's came at 2:30am saying she was sorry for how she acted, and when I didn't respond she asked if I was ignoring her I just told her I was giving her her space. Sun. came around and she called twice once early in the day and another in the evening, I was out at a bar she was sad and said she was in bed with the bear I gave her and didn't want to go out, that she couldn't believe I'd gotten over this so quick.

 

I explained I hadn't but was trying to keep my mind off of it by going out and told her to do the same. Week 2 she called Tues., Fri., and Sat. we had small talk but nothing about the relationship. She did say she loved and missed me but wasn't sure of anything. I heard from a close friend of hers that this guy was really into her but she wasn't reciprocating which is odd since they are out drinking every night and she stays at his place. The manager of the bar told her he cared for both us and needed to know if there was a chance between us or she needed to let me go, she told him she felt there was a "Chance" On Sun.

 

I called her and asked her for coffee cause I needed to talk and get things off my chest she asked if this meant I was going to tell her I didn't want to talk to her anymore and I said no. She was busy getting her car fixed and asked if we could get drinks on Mon. after work and I agreed. Week 3 She called Mon. and said she wasn't feeling good and maybe we could get lunch Thur. and she'd have more time to spend. We had some small talk and agreed.

 

She called me Tues. and it was just small talk no relationship but I know she went out with the guy and stayed at his place. Wed. she was out with him again and stayed at his place, but I sent a txt Wed. night and asked if we were still on. She said sure around 4,5pm but had to work at 8pm. I told her I thought she wanted to spend more time together but that whatever was fine with me. I didn't hear back till Thurs. morn. She called at 9am and asked to come over. I told her sure, she showed up in pajamas which means she planned to stay with him the prev. night. She told me she stayed at his place, that she slept on the couch (I'm not stupid), and she told him she hanging out with me (I don't believe it).

 

I talked about some things and how I was feeling and she listened she said she was still afraid of getting hurt, missed me, but didn't think she could give herself to anyone. She fell asleep in my lap as I tickled her head and back. When she got up I told her I might be moving for a job, she said she didn't want me to go that she would miss me, but understood and also talked about possible scenarios if we got back together. She told me she was moving out of her parents and would prob. grab her stuff this Sat. She grabbed a couple of things and I walked her to her car. As she drove by me she stopped and rolled the window down again and said bye! I sent her a txt that night and said I had an awesome time, hope she liked the massage, and hoped she felt better.

 

I received a txt today saying she wasn't moving now till next week because the closing was moved back and thanks for the massage. I just don't know what to do? I want to wait for her (because I want to be with her the rest of my life) but I don't know how long I can continue doing this, I don't know how long is enough? I don't know if this is a rebound? PLEASE HELP

 

Dont wait for her, Its not going to happen. She already moved on, and she said she doesnt think she can commit to anyone. Dont torture yourself by talking to her. Leave her alone, dont let her use you for friendship. If you continue to talk to her, you will help her get over you quicker. She will not be the one you marry, and the harder you try, the further away you will push her. Let her go.

[loveshy]

Just disappear from her life.. Best choice..

 

Helps you heal and keep nasty people who hurt you far far away.