JeansShortsJohn Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 So this pretty portly white virgin girl I barely know has been practically knocking down my door for the hot-beef-injection. She claims to be really blonde, and donkey's fly! I felt kind of bad the other night because I couldn't figure out how to find her in that pathetic weak moment I still am considering. What will my friends say? I could even lose the trust-fund my parents set up for me if she has a crack-baby or something terrible. I know for a fact she parties, this is Risky Business. She may be a certified virgin, but that doesn't mean Guido the Killer Pimp hasn't gone down on her. Trying to keep my balls in impeccable condition as usual, I decided it was now the periodic time to blow a load. I opted to think about my now married ex-room mate with big knockers whom I never even laid a hand on. I figured she was the logical choice for a masturbational fantasy because: 1. I never masturbate thinking about anyone I want to have my children for fear of flushing my best, smartest sperm down the toilet. My married ex-roomate is a professional movie freak and I don't even own a t.v.. 2. If anyone found out I lost yet another load down the porcelein honda it would be relatively fruitless to try to titilate me with the fact it was her. And, when I gets right down to it, (and i'm sure quasi-blonde will when I eventually let her), not only have I never eaten a fake-blonde, I've never eaten a girl at all. This something I am definitely wanting to try if I can just find a babe who I am sure will not try to stop me if I decided I like it. I wasn't ready to go to sleep after blowing that load a few nights ago. I drank a few glasses of buttermilk (myth has it buttermilk helps restore loads). I found myself lusting over the pretty blonde, so I made a mid-night trek to Wal-mart and bought a plastic drop-cloth, chocolate syrup, and a larger paint brush to go with the smaller unused paint brush I already own. I obviously was just wanting to get my priorities in-line, instinctually I developed a plan. This Blonde does have her finer points, including: 1. She's quite smart like me, but nicer. That really sucks because I like to be the nicer one. This will plague me I know, but that's life, something I'll have to deal with. 2. She is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my whole life, all I want to do is find some way to real her in. I just wish I knew what her last name is! Anyone?
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