Author dreamergrl Posted June 26, 2009 Author Posted June 26, 2009 There is no specific guy I'm talking about. I'm not doing anything to anyone! I was asking a question because I tend to get along better with guys. Geeze...
Author dreamergrl Posted June 26, 2009 Author Posted June 26, 2009 You need to go out and socialize more with the girls and be friendly with them. Then you make down lists of who you like and who you don't and then ask yourself why you like them and why you don't. For those you like, you need to be more proactive by asking them to the movies or lunch. If they don't like you back, you move on to the next. I know girls can sometimes be more intimidating than guys but if you really want to make more girl friends, you have to start somewhere. If at the end of it you realize that you're better off with guy friends, so be it. At least you tried. Well I made a start by looking up old friends on FB. Ones that I did get along with. It's amazing how much everyone's changed over the years. And I'd be like 'We should get together and catch up' ... but no one ever wants to. As for the guys 'pining' over me. I've had guy friends before, and not ones that wanted me. Very few, yes, and they were met through a mutual female friend. Once I even approached one with the notion of it being more then just that, and I got turned down. So why can't a find another like that, minus the me trying to make it into more then friendship?
boogieboy Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Cant be just friends with women. If I'm not attracted to a woman and currently working on her, I have NO reason to hang out with her. I have aquaintances, maybe chatting a lil at a party, but I move on to the new girls fast.
cyril's fan Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Well I made a start by looking up old friends on FB. Ones that I did get along with. It's amazing how much everyone's changed over the years. And I'd be like 'We should get together and catch up' ... but no one ever wants to. As for the guys 'pining' over me. I've had guy friends before, and not ones that wanted me. Very few, yes, and they were met through a mutual female friend. Once I even approached one with the notion of it being more then just that, and I got turned down. So why can't a find another like that, minus the me trying to make it into more then friendship? Sorry that happened. But even with friends, there are flakes. I recently had a friend only contacting me after she broke up with her boyfriend when she ignored me a few years ago. I'm lukewarm now. (I'm not saying that's your case. I was just giving an example of some friendships.) I don't know what else to say except to keep trying. You need to make new girl friends too even though your effort to get in touch with the old ones is good. With my guy friends, I just ask them to include me when they have outings I can join. When you feel some guy friends may be coming onto you and you don't want that, just suggest group meetings. I don't mind hanging out just with my guy friends since they're platonic but with group outings, I get to know other people too.
Author dreamergrl Posted June 26, 2009 Author Posted June 26, 2009 Sorry that happened. But even with friends, there are flakes. I recently had a friend only contacting me after she broke up with her boyfriend when she ignored me a few years ago. I'm lukewarm now. (I'm not saying that's your case. I was just giving an example of some friendships.) I don't know what else to say except to keep trying. You need to make new girl friends too even though your effort to get in touch with the old ones is good. Yeah, I've had friends like that too. I hate the 'only good enough when you need something' crap comes along. I wish there was a good side for making friends like there are dating sites. That's kinda lame though huh lol. This is kind of why I had such hopes for the new jobs this summer, not just to keep working, but to meet more people. With my guy friends, I just ask them to include me when they have outings I can join. When you feel some guy friends may be coming onto you and you don't want that, just suggest group meetings. I don't mind hanging out just with my guy friends since they're platonic but with group outings, I get to know other people too. Very true. I can try and get involved with more group stuff. I remember a few of the guys I dated, I started meeting more girls that I got along with. But when the dating stopped, I didn't see them. It was kinda sad, ya know?
carhill Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Once I even approached one with the notion of it being more then just that, and I got turned down. So why can't a find another like that, minus the me trying to make it into more then friendship? Shouldn't be a problem. Shared interests are a great way to promote a platonic relationship. That way the energy is focused on the interest rather than the male/female dynamic. I'll bet, if you find a guy who's really into something you're interested in, and you keep things topical rather than start the intimacy snowball talking about your problems/relationships/etc., you'll do fine. For me, I met a lot of such women when I was volunteering at our local zoo and 'beautifying' our community with plants and trees (IOW, zoology and horticulture were the shared interests). Whether the women were single, in relationships, or married, the focus was on the interest. I did meet women incidentally, not connected with those interests but through them, and did see the difference in dynamic and developed attraction and/or was attracted to them, essentially because there was no commonality other than my or their attraction. There was no other basis for our contact. Clear as mud?
cyril's fan Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Yeah, I've had friends like that too. I hate the 'only good enough when you need something' crap comes along. I wish there was a good side for making friends like there are dating sites. That's kinda lame though huh lol. This is kind of why I had such hopes for the new jobs this summer, not just to keep working, but to meet more people. Very true. I can try and get involved with more group stuff. I remember a few of the guys I dated, I started meeting more girls that I got along with. But when the dating stopped, I didn't see them. It was kinda sad, ya know? The summer new jobs are a good way to meet people! Friendships need maintenance. Even if you did try to keep in touch, you can't do it alone without the other parties' contribution. You just have to keep trying (but knowing when to draw the line). Hope it works!
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