iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I was ALWAYS an optimistic person. Ever since I was little. I was simple, too. I never asked for anything, I appreciated everything I had. I was happy at home reading, or watching TV. I never threw fits when I wasn't allowed to go out. My whole family described me as calm. But I can proudly say I was optimistic. In my own little shy world, I had the most colorful and positive thoughts. I always kept to myself but I was always happy... and I can't say this enough, optimistic. It wasn't being naive, either. I wasn't blindly optimistic. I was simply a very happy, positive person. It took a lot to bring me down. I was with her since 2006. Late 2007, the problems started. One day around this time (late Fall, early Winter 2007) it hit me I hadn't been optimistic in a while. After that, it was all from feeling indifferent to depressed and pessimistic. Early 2008 I started seeing a psychiatrist and was put on anti-depressants and anxiety medication. And from then on it was just that, depression and very, very bad anxiety. Finally, it's all over. And the break up is fresh (late April) But will I go back to being my old self eventually? I'm tired of being depressed and I want to get out of this hole she pushed me into so long ago. This is no way to live.
NopeNah Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 F*ck your "old self"!! It's time to find your new self! Get out there and LIVE! (and i mean zero offense) I know... I"ll NEVER be the same after this mess I went thru! For that matter.. i've never been the same after any meaningful relationship that ended. I've always learned/grown from it! Just what I'm doing now...walking and growing..goodluck!
t0ri Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 First off, why can't I find an optimistic, sweet guy like you! ha. Secondly, I think you can, and will get back to your old self. Before dating my ex, I was a lot of things that seemed to disappear a year and a half into he and I dating. It's been 4 months since our breakup, but the 2nd month we "tried" to reconcile, so it's really only been a little over 2 months since he ended things again, and since we've had any contact. And I'm happy to say that those qualities I lost while lost in my ex are coming back very quickly I'm back to being my old optimistic, confident, independent person I was that my ex fell in love with in the first place. You'll get back to most of yourself, in my opinion. It just takes time to adjust and find yourself again! I agree with Prayingfordaylight, that you will never be the exact "same" after a heartbreak. You'll be pretty much the same you, but wiser and stronger, with a few added in differences. Although I loved my ex tremendously and never wanted to lose him, I felt more depressed while with him than I do without him now, even though he broke my heart. It's very weird, but maybe you were in a similar situation. I felt I'd be lost and miserable without him for the longest time, and now I'm back to being pretty happy and excited about what is to come in my life. Maybe, hopefully, you just need time to be happy again.
Road To Joy Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 F*ck your "old self"!! It's time to find your new self! Get out there and LIVE! (and i mean zero offense) I know... I"ll NEVER be the same after this mess I went thru! For that matter.. i've never been the same after any meaningful relationship that ended. I've always learned/grown from it! Just what I'm doing now...walking and growing..goodluck! LOL! The first sentence threw me off... I was like "Wha... :eek:" But I get what you mean. And thank you for the motivation! I didn't take it as an insult, so no worries there. I know I'm going to grow and learn from this but I was just hoping I'd go back to being the optimistic person I used to be. It's always good to be positive and I was so happy when I had that trait, I simply hope I can get it back. It's just been so long... Thanks again!
Road To Joy Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 First off, why can't I find an optimistic, sweet guy like you! ha. Oh baby... Haha! Just kidding Secondly, I think you can, and will get back to your old self. Before dating my ex, I was a lot of things that seemed to disappear a year and a half into he and I dating. It's been 4 months since our breakup, but the 2nd month we "tried" to reconcile, so it's really only been a little over 2 months since he ended things again, and since we've had any contact. And I'm happy to say that those qualities I lost while lost in my ex are coming back very quickly I'm back to being my old optimistic, confident, independent person I was that my ex fell in love with in the first place. Yeah, I can relate. She took away from me so much of myself that that plays such a big role on the 'anger' side of this whole grieving thing. I gave up so much of myself for so little in return. And I guess I do see little hints of myself coming back. I get these random moments where I'm just plain out ECSTATIC. For no reason, either! I'll just be sitting there with my brother, or at my cousin's house watching a movie with them and I'll get this random wave of euphoria. And it feels so good! But then it goes away as instantly as it comes, which sucks. I'm just hoping it's one of those things that become more frequent as time goes on until it becomes mostly permanent. You'll get back to most of yourself, in my opinion. It just takes time to adjust and find yourself again! I agree with Prayingfordaylight, that you will never be the exact "same" after a heartbreak. You'll be pretty much the same you, but wiser and stronger, with a few added in differences. I agree. Finding yourself is essential in going back how things used to be. When you're with someone for so long you kind of lose yourself in them, I suppose? Or get used to life with them so when it's all snatched away it's like there's this big chunk missing. So it's all a 'getting used to' thing? And the experience you had just adds on to your maturity. Lol, I'm trying to analyze this as logically as possible. Although I loved my ex tremendously and never wanted to lose him, I felt more depressed while with him than I do without him now, even though he broke my heart. I can TOTALLY relate to this. It's so weird, huh? I remember telling myself, while I was with her, that I didn't want to be in love with her anymore because it hurt so bad. And I would ask myself, "Why the hell am I still in love with her if I don't WANT to be?" It just didn't make any sense. How can you love someone you don't want to love? It still doesn't make sense. She tortured me. And I feel the loss and the loneliness and all that, but above all that I feel relieved. It'd odd how this all works.
Road To Joy Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Oh baby... Lol, I still can't believe I said that. How embarrassing! I'm sorry... haha.
brock9911 Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 well #1 im in the same boat as you. i didnt have any anxiety or depression until i started to have some problems with my ex. i had to se a psychiatrist and i was put on all kinds of meds. it sux and im still on them. actually its gotten worse wit the breakup. all i can say is go out and live your life. all the $h*t i wasnt able to do with my ex, im doing now. going away with the guy friends and not having to worry if its gonna come back to haunt me. casinos, strip clubs, bars. talking to girls without feeling guilty. crashing at a friends house after a long night without getting bitched at. believe me, as bad as the breakup is, there is some plus sides to the single life. and when you do meet another person who stikes you which actually happened to me quickly, its the best feeling in the world. so dont worry we feel ya and get out there and live. p.s. im going sky diving, i would have never done that.
Road To Joy Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 well #1 im in the same boat as you. i didnt have any anxiety or depression until i started to have some problems with my ex. i had to se a psychiatrist and i was put on all kinds of meds. it sux and im still on them. It's good to know we're going through similar things. I hate feeling alone. Our difference is I'm not on meds anymore. all i can say is go out and live your life. all the $h*t i wasnt able to do with my ex, im doing now. going away with the guy friends and not having to worry if its gonna come back to haunt me. casinos, strip clubs, bars. talking to girls without feeling guilty. crashing at a friends house after a long night without getting bitched at. believe me, as bad as the breakup is, there is some plus sides to the single life. and when you do meet another person who stikes you which actually happened to me quickly, its the best feeling in the world. so dont worry we feel ya and get out there and live. Thanks for the advice. I've seen the plus side of things. And isn't it comical how much time we spend on relationships without realizing it? When my ex and I broke up, I had so much more time it surprised me. Despite all the bad feelings you go through, once the excitement kicks in, things really start looking up. p.s. im going sky diving, i would have never done that.Whoa! I should do that! Good luck and I hope you have fun.
t0ri Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 I can TOTALLY relate to this. It's so weird, huh? I remember telling myself, while I was with her, that I didn't want to be in love with her anymore because it hurt so bad. And I would ask myself, "Why the hell am I still in love with her if I don't WANT to be?" It just didn't make any sense. How can you love someone you don't want to love? It still doesn't make sense. She tortured me. And I feel the loss and the loneliness and all that, but above all that I feel relieved. It'd odd how this all works. Yeah, it really is odd! I know what you mean. I seriously wanted to break up with my ex because I wasn't happy. I did not want to be with him anymore, but I just couldn't walk away from him. I loved him too much. Kind of doesn't make sense hah. Lol, I still can't believe I said that. How embarrassing! I'm sorry... haha. Ha! Don't be
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