jqb05443 Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I was with ex for 3.5 years. He broke up with me over 2 months ago. During the two months we were broken up we hung out a few times (which he knew I wanted to get back together with him) and was really amazing. We spoke a few times. I went away on vacation and gave him a card and letter before I left telling him that I really wanted to work things out, how much I missed him and didn't want to be with anyone else. He told me he would have to think about it and let me know when I got back. He told me that he was still talking to me and hanging out because he wanted to see how things would go and if we were to get back together he wanted it to happen on its own. When I got back from vacation he was acting really distant. He finally told me on Friday that we both needed to move on. I was devasted and decided to try to start NC as I have been failure since we broke up. I was a wreck all weekend as it felt like I got dumped all over again. He pretty much also made it seem like he didn't want us to be friends anymore either. Well yesterday, I must love torture, I broke my NC of 2 days and text him if he wanted to go see a Broadway show with me that I had tickets for which he knew about in July. After the way he treated me when I got back you would think I would be able to say F you and move on..but I can't. I was really expecting him to say no we can't hang out anymore or something along those lines. Well to my shock he replied yes that he would go with me. What do you guys think of this? If he really wanted me out of his life and to move on woudn't he have said no? Does this mean that he actually does want to see me or that he feels bad for me and that's why he is going? Any thoughts?
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Sounds like a pity date to me. He already knows that theres NO chance for you two, but he can still date new girls and have good company with you. He has it all now. Youre already out of his life for the most part. You'll be on your best behavior at this point, and since he told you youre officially over, he hopes you wont bring it up again. That and he doesnt have to feel guilty because he told you and you still call anyways. Or he is saving you for a booty call when one of his other girls flakes out on him. He doesnt care about your feelings, he knows that you are still hurt and you still want to get back together, he knows it will keep you pining for him, hes using that to his advantage and he knows that he can control you. Its like he has a remote control to your brain. So since you like the torture, I say keep going. keep hope alive, and keep calling him knowing he's told you hes moved on. That is the best way to keep yourself a wreck for at least the next year. Are you functional like this?
Author jqb05443 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 thank you for your honesty boogie. I needed to hear that. To be honest since I extended the invitation and he has accepted, a part of me has felt like maybe I should take it back (because I know its a bad idea). I know he has moved on and here I am crazy over him. The show isn't till July 18 which is more than 3 weeks away and I wasn't planning on texting or calling him till 2 days before to confirm (that would be the longest time NC) for us. I will be on my best behaviour BUT would it look bad at his point if I do take back the invitation?
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 thank you for your honesty boogie. I needed to hear that. To be honest since I extended the invitation and he has accepted, a part of me has felt like maybe I should take it back (because I know its a bad idea). I know he has moved on and here I am crazy over him. The show isn't till July 18 which is more than 3 weeks away and I wasn't planning on texting or calling him till 2 days before to confirm (that would be the longest time NC) for us. I will be on my best behaviour BUT would it look bad at his point if I do take back the invitation? He dumped you, what do you care how it looks? Not only that, you'll wind up with an extra ticket and going to the show stag if you wait till 2 days before to confirm. Ask someone else.
gogarth Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 This situation actually happened to a friend of mine. He took his ex-gf (who dumped him several times before) to a concert after they broke up. She was flirtatious, and even tried to seduce him. Then, at the end of the night, she told him that she's dating other people and that he shouldn't get his hopes up based on this one outing. He felt used. I agree with boogieboy that you shouldn't care what your ex thinks. That said, taking back the invitation sends a strong message that you have a backbone, and that you're moving on with your life. It will actually make you look good, not bad.
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