lvixen Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 This is causing me way more grief than I would like. I've been with my boyfriend in a LDR for about a year now. We've met up a couple of times, the last time a couple of weeks ago. I never thought I would have a problem with the distance until then (we made love for the first time at that point). The only contact we have is through the telephone. He cut off his internet because of a move and hasn't bothered to reconnect it, saying he is too broke to do so. This is causing me a lot of heartache as I would like to see him on cam and do things with him on the internet like we used to do before he moved. So I figured it's no problem because I have no obligations at home and told him I wanted to move with him next week, which he agreed to. Now last night he tells me I can't move there because he is broke again so he can't afford to have me over. Tells me that maybe he could have me over in a month or two. So I am back at square one. This distance is killing me. I am not functional at this point and I don't know if I will ever be. I love this guy with all of my heart but I am waiting around for his telephone calls. I miss the touch, smell and sight of him with such intensity that it is driving me insane. He tells me to be strong but I can't be. I'm tired of crying all the time but I don't have it in me to break up with someone I love so much. The insecurities are also drivnig me insane and if he doesn't call me one day I start crying and thinking he's lost interest in me. At this point I don't know what to do. Any advice would be good. I don't really have any good friends and I spend most of my time at home waiting for him to call me. Thank you, hope this wasn't too long.
Island Girl Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Those in the LDR forum can relate and offer you some good advice as far as getting through the LDR part. One thing that struck me initially is that he'll go a day without calling? So you don't call him...? Or he doesn't call you back...? If he has no internet now and that is how you used to communicate regularly then it is up to both of you to step it up in other ways. If the phone is all you have then so be it - and he shouldn't be going "missing" on you. That will fan the flames of insecurity really fast (rightly so) and there is already a predisposition to them in an LDR. Do you have any of your own money to help support yourself? What about getting a job where he is? Have you discussed all of this? No matter what happens or is happening - even if everything is great - you NEED to have your own things going on in your life. Find a couple of hobbies. Get out - even to the library and read or something. (There is a thread similar to this going on right now in the LDR forum). Try and make some friends or gain some outside interests. Sitting around crying does you no good and isn't healthy for you or the relationship.
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