MAXPAIN Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Beginning of June I just got back from a year deployment to Iraq and when I met my wife at the AFB, she greeted me with a hug that lasted what seems to be a life time of Sundays. When I was finally done with the demob process a week later she picked me up and she was distant and cold. I knew enough about her the change is a bit hard since she has been on her own for a year and taking care of our 2 boys 9 & 5. But did not expect about what was going to happen over the next day. I final asked her what was the problem and the bombing run started. She told me she is emotional drained and she does not know if she has anything left for our marriage. After a week or so went by and I landed up in the hospital because by blood pressure went through the roof 165/120 and my emotions were all over the broad. God sakes I just got from Iraq and my wife dropped this bomb on me saying she is done with the marriage. I went to seek head dr and the put me on depression meds because of the marriage and what I went through over there. Sum up everything she said for the past few years she tried to connect with me emotional but I could not read between the lines what she was doing and or saying nor did she in away. She also told me she has these “not normal” feelings about her best friend of 25 years and get this our maid of honor of our wedding. Yes a female. During the period while I was way she got really emotional even emotional intimacy with her like she has never done with anyone else in her live. Sharing whole bunch of stuff about her. She is also leaving the room when she wants to talk to her on the cell phone, and I caught the two of them on the couch, my wife touching her gently across the face and evenly putting her hand slightly down her shirt properly on top of her chest. I feel she had an emotional affair while I was awhile and she gave that line the first day back I love you but I don’t love you crap. She said time has always been good for her and we start out as friends and we brought into our relationship a lot of baggage she would like to start at the point again of working on being friends and working on our baggage. I am going to counseling to help me out but currently she is not. We were going to counseling by ourselves to work on some stuff about our marriage but we never hit the real problems, we found this out just the past few weeks. I bought some marriage help books but she got even more piss off at me because she wish I was doing that a few years ago. That is another thing she is going though right know of being piss off and angry at me because I left her “emotional drain” in the marriage and she is morning the past several years of her life and the marriage. Anything I am doing to correct what is wrong she gets very piss off and brings all the time I could have been doing this back then. If I had known this I would have done something about it but she did not like that answer either. Not sure what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!
LisaUk Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Hi, I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this, to come back from service and be greated with this must be extremely hard for you and I'm sure someone like Gunny who is ex marines or Boathold will be able to offere you acurate advice, hopefully they will see your thread. Could I ask is she willing to go to MC with you?
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Dude. I would just hire a lawyer and file for divorce. because you dont have any kids. second you sound pretty young and dont need to put up with the crap. nextly she's gay!!!! WTF? your a striaght man being married to a gay possible bi-sexual woman who is cheating on you? Your a soldier why are you tolerating it. I bet gunny would agree. This marriage is over, and the best thing is if you have no kids in a relatively young marriage, bail, there's no reason to fight for a chick who aint worth it. Trust me your gonna go through a whole lot of pain, dealing with this crap. Better get your ducks in a row and prepare for your future without her. she isnt wife material and you can do better by yourself. work on yourself. forget her.
Recommended Posts