mochamoosextm Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 So this is basically what happend, & i would really like to know if this happend to you. Im 16. My bf is soon to be 21. yesterday he went to a club, told me it was just a party. i found out it was a club. so im at home crying my eyes out cuz i dnt know what hes gna do at the club. (this past week he stopped calling me & texting me. only would text me if i txt him but still wouldnt call... said he had nothing to talk about.) so i cant txt him at the club. he wont text back. now hes about to be 21. said hes going to a strip club for his bday. i cant go. im not old enough to get in. I cryed for 5 hours. hes 21. he can drink now. he will drink at the club & i honestly dnt know what to do. idk how i can trust him. he will probebly flirt with girls, & dance with them, & get drunk & wasted. im just worried this will go on for more then just his bday. he will be going out to clubs everyother night. maybe not even telling me anymore. & weve been going out for 2 years now. is it the age diffrence? is he better of single at his age right now? so maybe i would have to worry less? he says he loves me. i dont believe it anymore. i dnt know what to believe. im nervous & worried & scared. I dont want him drinking soo much hes gna "bang bang" another girl & cheat on me, & i wouldnt even know. but even when hes at home, he called me a couple of times, sayin oh yeah im tipsy right now. so he drank for no reason. but now hes gna have a reason to drink & he will get wasted. you know it. im so confused. i dont know what todo.
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Your lil fling with this guy is on the slippery slope of death. When youre in a good relationship youre not supposed to be confused. Hes just saying he loves you to keep you hanging on. He doesnt seem very interested in you. Youre not going to be able to stop him from doing anything, so you should bail. Try dating guys your own age. You arent able to handle the older guys yet. Dont torture yourself by living in jealousy. STop chasing him, and let him chase you. At some point, hes going to leave you anyway, thats where this is going. So you can either beat him to it, or wait for him to dump you.
Samari Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Perhaps you should try dating someone more towards your own age level. I'm 21 and let me tell you guys my age are going to easily be interested in girls around their age level or a little higher.
Bejita463 Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 So this is basically what happend, & i would really like to know if this happend to you. Im 16. My bf is soon to be 21. [snip] & weve been going out for 2 years now. Morality and legality aside, if you two did not know this would eventually create issues (minor and major both), you probably should have put a bit more thought into it. That is about as significant a difference as an atheist dating a devout Christian. The question is not if it can work, it is if it will.
Crow9726 Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 The big thing I see is the age difference. You have a man who is legally an adult dating a young lady who is legally still a child. Unfortunately...by the sound of it...both are immature.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 You are 16, he is of clubbing/partying age. you are young and need to find someone on your same level. cuz anyone that thinks he is at clubs for good clean fun, think again. there is a reason people go to clubs...and it isn't to chat with the same sex...unless its a gay club:o find someone more your age and someone more in tune with your personality. last thing you need to be doing is worrying about some bf and what he is doing at a club instead of being with you. and what is a 21yo doing with a 16yo anyway? If you were my daughter, I'd be meeting Mr. Clubber in the street and telling him to get back in his car and never come back.
missdependant Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 The problem here is AGE. Date someone between 15-18. He should be dating someone who is actually legal. There is a huge difference between a 16 year old and a 21 year old; the way their minds work, what's legal and what's not, sexuality, etc.. Trust me, the age gap is a big deal. Doesn't matter if you're "really mature for your age" or if he's really "immature for his age". Red flag.
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Morality and legality aside, if you two did not know this would eventually create issues (minor and major both), you probably should have put a bit more thought into it. You forget shes 16, she doesnt think! Her emotions run her life. She liked that an older boy liked her, she wants to seem like shes more mature and got burned for it.
Lucky_One Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Oh gross gross gross. A 19 year old man was dating a 14 year old child. Honey, let this guy go. Concentrate on the boys in your class.
Bejita463 Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 You forget shes 16, she doesnt think! Her emotions run her life. Point conceded, though there are exceptions.
Author mochamoosextm Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 Its so hard letting him go tho. He told me he loves me & i love him. Usually age is nothing to me. right now it does seem weird but when im 18 hes gna be 23 thats not that bad.. but thats in the far future. && we are having more problems then ever now. he is acting so confused. i ask him if he loves me & for the first time in his life he said i dont know. i asked him if were over? or if he is single now? he said i dont know. he says he needs time. i dont get what he meens by that & whenever i would ask to talk to him about it. he just says stop asking me questions. does he need time away from me? does he need time to find someone else? does he need time to flirt around with other girls? or is he just ready to let me go? i asked if he wants to be my bf again, but he said not now give me some time. but then hes also saying ^^^ he doesnt know if hes single or not & if we broke up or not. im scared of giving him time. he might truelly be over me. its hard to deal with this tho. like 2 years is a long time. he said that too. he said it gets boring. i asked him if hes bored with me & all he said is i dnt know. thats always his answer now. im trying to fix things with him. but its just not working out. but yet he still wants to text me. & for me to text him. & i asked if he wanted to chill but lately hes been all about his friends but i can understand that. i dont even know if im in his life anymore. if he considers me as a friend after all this stuff happend. or if im his girlfriend. or if im his friend who hes starting to get over. but one thing for sure, he hasnt said he loves me in 2 days. & i said it to him but got no response. is it really time to end things?? its gunna take me more then 4 months to get over him. he just doesnt see how hard it is.
Author mochamoosextm Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 Everything just went wrong with that night. if that night didnt happend, we will all be fine. but his birthday is this monday.\& well you heard the rest.
love2dance Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 He is a serious looser-he was 19 dating a 14 year old-which means he felt too insecure to try dating a girl his age. Now that he is 21 and he can get all the confidence he needs from alcohol, he doesn't need you anymore. Try dating guys only one or two years older than you. Right now you will have to wait two years before you can go into some (a few and who knows if he will limit himself to the 18 and over clubs anyway) strip clubs and dance clubs (age 18) and five years before you can go to most clubs (at 21 years old) so do you really want to wait around for 5 years wondering what your man is doing at the clubs? If you get a guy your age then you wont have this problem.
Author mochamoosextm Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 I've been through this situation before, I was actually dating someone for 4 years and she was 3 years younger than me. I was like your bf now, and I later decided to get back with her, then things went bad again and she left me. So don't worry, theres definitely a light at the end of the tunnel =) Hope that helps and good luck!!! THANKS SO MUCH:) you really helped like really. boosed up my self esteem. & thank you everyone else! i feel soo much better.
Author mochamoosextm Posted June 29, 2009 Author Posted June 29, 2009 Things have been getting better I have to admit. I dont know if we are still going out or not, but we havent said i love you in such a long time, i dont want to say it tho to ruin our "relationship." but when i saw him, he wouldnt kiss me unless he wanted to kiss me & he did. & he did hold me. so maybe our relationship is going to a good track?
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 In under three months, he will be out of the picture entirely. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but he is entering a new stage of his life, and he isn't going to take you with him.
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