mortensorchid Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Well I admit, LS, that I am rather depressed tonight. I have two things to vent about this evening, the first now ... Last week I had met someone in the university tutoring center where I have a part time job. Making a long story short, I found myself staring out into space and suddenly realized I was staring at someone. We started to make faces at each other while I was tutoring this very needy student. Afterwards we said hello then went outside for some fresh air. He asked me for my number. I did not return his call until a few days after he had called and left a message on my voice mail, it's summer and it's party time for me. I also did not invite him along to these things because I thought it would intimidate him to be introduced to my friends so quickly. Today I saw him again, and we chatted for a bit. He said that he really wasn't looking for a gf, had all these other things to do, etc. Of course, one does not have to be a genius to determine that this is a lost cause. I will forget about him. He's rather dull and boring if I do say so myself. Well, tonight I am rather depressed. Not because of above situation, but because of the bad and rather hopeless situation I seem to be in. I never meet anyone. Recently, I got out of career death and decided to continue my education, so I am in college again. I am fifteen years older than most of the population. Everyone's nice, but they're just part of the background. I have many friends, most are committed bachelors and crazy cat ladies, of which I am one of. I am not lonely in this reguard, as I have them when most people have no one, I realize. I do not sit at home and wait for Mr. Right. If anything, I have tried to look for Mr. Right before. I have tried online. With one or two exceptions, most of who I have met online are losers. Among my friends, we are partiers and hang out in places where people party. Most everyone are butt wipes, ok to chat with at a bar or something, but no one you'd want to pursue any real relationships with. Some have suggested that you must look to work to meet people. This simply did not happen, as in the old career most of my coworkers were high school drop outs, divorced and too bitter at the world to think about including someone like me as their friend. I have tried to join organizations, and I am lucky that I found some wonderful pursuits and things, but most of them seemed to be populated by children rather than adults. I feel a sense of despair setting in. What can or can't be done that hasn't before? I've been burned so many times, but I can't stand being burned more by these inappropo around me.
Lucky_One Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 You met a guy, he called you, and you blew him off because it is summertime and party season? And you are venting because this is a lost cause? It is a lost cause because you lost it purposefully. He should be the one venting about girls who flirt and give out numbers, but don't return calls because they are too concerned with partying, as well as girls who give out numbers but consider everyone else in the world to be either crazy, bitter, worthless or juvenile buttwipes and losers.
WTRanger Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 So it's okay for you to blow someone off but not okay for them to blow you off? I'm confused as to why you are depressed? Did you hope that he'd chase you, boost your ego, and give you someone to pull by the strings but instead he called your bluff? Are you mad because he bested you at your own game? You were hoping he was going to be a puppy dog, weren't you? He called you, he was at least interested in getting to know you. Why didn't you return his call sooner? Party time or no party time, that just doesn't make sense. Granted not everyone you meet randomly in the world is going to be Mr. Awesome, but sheesh, you're not exactly Miss Perfect either. Why is it perfectly okay for girls to be too "busy" to respond, but when a guy has other things to do he is immediately consider a buttwipe and a lost cause?
cyril's fan Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I think what the OP's really depressed about is the fact that she thinks there isn't anyone out there for her. I agree she should have contacted the guy but I think she only got depressed about that particular situation after he told her he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. OP, I think I know what you feel. Do you think it may have something to do that you had a career problem and everything added together to make you feel worse?
Lucky_One Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 To be perfectly honest, there will never be anyone out there for her, with the attitude towards people in general that the OP posted. I travel a lot for work, I work out of my home office a lot, and I work off-sites a lot. I have a full social life, and I don't hang out at church, and I do a lot with my kid's sports teams. And I don't consider all the people I meet to be losers and buttwipes who are bitter and juvenile. When people don't see anything good in the world surrounding them, then they will never find good. If all you exude is negativity, then that is all that will bounce back to you off other people.
hitzpink Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I agree with Lucky One that unfortunately the OP seems entirely too negative. Do you give these people a chance (beyond speaking to them for a few minutes once or twice) before writing them off? It sounds like you may be too quick to judge. Try getting to know somebody a little better before deciding that they're not worth your time!
NoTNorMal Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 If you are wanting to try something new, why don't you try to get a virgin to lick on your box?
butcher's hook Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 You met a guy, he called you, and you blew him off because it is summertime and party season? Seriously!! I was thinking the exact same thing. You must have mentioned "partying" and "partier" at least 5 times in your OP and I don't see why you party so much if you truly want a relationship? Do you party to fill in the void of loneliness or are you lonely because you have made partying your priority? When you say partying I am assuming you are using party drugs as well, that is sort of the "scene" I envision., I could be mistaken.
EddieN Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Seriously!! I was thinking the exact same thing. You must have mentioned "partying" and "partier" at least 5 times in your OP and I don't see why you party so much if you truly want a relationship? Do you party to fill in the void of loneliness or are you lonely because you have made partying your priority? When you say partying I am assuming you are using party drugs as well, that is sort of the "scene" I envision., I could be mistaken. The scene I envision is a 35 year old woman trying to party at a college scene.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 No no, all, my partying is not the problem here. I am not partying with other students at my university, because I have my own friends and social life and they have their own. And I am not depressed over the tutor either, just the fact that he seemed to be nice but a bit of a wimp and I realized that had we even tried to be an item it wouldn't have worked out. It was just a feeling I had. I am NOT depressed about that. What I am depressed over is the fact that there seems to be little to no hope for me of ever meeting that special someone. But I'm over that now, it was just another flux of hormones.
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