Do men prefer the life of a playboy?

[Lyssa]

I don't agree with you. I think that most decent women won't tolerate being with a man who is sleeping around with a bunch of other women. The only women who tolerate this lifestyle are probably gold-digging sluts, like the ones that Hugh Hefner gets.

 

I agree with you, Chicago_Guy .

[Woggle]

I don't agree with you. I think that most decent women won't tolerate being with a man who is sleeping around with a bunch of other women. The only women who tolerate this lifestyle are probably gold-digging sluts, like the ones that Hugh Hefner gets.

 

No woman with any self respect would want a cheater but they do want a man they respect. Many players will settle down and stay faithful for a woman that is worth their while. These men usually end up having great relationships because they didn't just let some chick browbeat them into commiting only to get nagged and walked all over like a sidwalk. Most women will respect and be attracted to a man who will walk in a heartbeat if he is not treated right.

[zigzaggy]

Actually I feel most women are more turned on by a man with many options.

 

Let's say a girl is on the fence about you.. If you profess some feelings you might as well quit and walk away right there..If you are dating other women, and she knows it, then you are a prize.

 

Women fall for certain types all of the time, even though they are the types to play lots of women.. Women line up to sleep with rock stars, athletes, politicians, doctors, pilots, etc. They dream about sleeping with these men.

[Lyssa]

Women fall for certain types all of the time, even though they are the types to play lots of women.. Women line up to sleep with rock stars, athletes, politicians, doctors, pilots, etc. They dream about sleeping with these men.

 

Some women do... not all .

[Trialbyfire]

You assume he's lead by pain and is therefore seaking pleasure to compensate. Then you try the reverse.

I don't understand what you're trying to get at. Explain.

 

Maybe he's just a guy that had a dream, has a really high sex drive and was able to combine the two.

Somehow, I doubt it...

 

I will admit to finding it funny that many guys admire him. He really is a sleezeball, if you not only consider his business but his lifestyle.

 

Imagine an old, wrinkled woman, doing the same and believing she still has it. Most of you would jump all over her. I know I would because it's pathetic. People need to grow old gracefully.

[burning 4 revenge]

I don't understand what you're trying to get at. Explain.

 

Somehow, I doubt it...

 

I will admit to finding it funny that many guys admire him. He really is a sleezeball, if you not only consider his business but his lifestyle.

 

Imagine an old, wrinkled woman, doing the same and believing she still has it. Most of you would jump all over her. I know I would because it's pathetic. People need to grow old gracefully.

It is rather absurd to think of him pumping up his penile implant to have sex with a woman one third his age with fake hair, a fake tan and fake breasts

 

Not much elegance or grace there

[burning 4 revenge]

Secretly do they want to be Hugh Hefner or the P M of Italy?

They are saying the PM is having relations with an 18 yr old and he's 70.

This makes me wonder about men!

These men sound both incredibly lonley and incredibly creepy

 

Why would anyone envy them

[Trialbyfire]

It is rather absurd to think of him pumping up his penile implant to have sex with a woman one third his age with fake hair, a fake tan and fake breasts

 

Not much elegance or grace there

That pretty much sums it up, with the addition of viagra!

[burning 4 revenge]

Hugh Hefner lives the life that any man that is honest with himself wants to live. I have great respect for him. He is a self made millionare who built an empire through hard work and loosened up America in the process.

High Hefner has done more damage to the world as a whole then I could even begin to do justice to

 

He is the godfather of pornography...and although pronography has had some benefits I think the negative consequences have far outweighed them

 

The fact that he wishes to go silently into the goodnight as some kind of pathetic caricature of himself tells me all I need to know about him

[burning 4 revenge]

Hefner is a douche. His "girlfriends" are glorified prostitutes... Who would want that life?

 

I think most guys if they really think about it, want to be loved and valued for who we are... but we have learned that in reality our only value lies in what we can provide.

Yes I agree, but it cuts both ways

 

People are basically both sympathetic and selfish and every relationship struggles with that conflict ....both sexes are essentially the same in that respect

 

I like what you said about him being a douche, because he's become some kind of symbol of honest masculinity living the kind of life any man would if they could and he looks totally miserable to me

[TheMeatloafJuggler]

I don't know if everyone wants to be Hugh Hefner ( I do think most guys would like to try it for a year to find out though. LOL)

 

My observation is most women out there will not accept you for you. In fact, I doubt the women with Hefner, even when he was younger and more active, accepted him for him.

 

I do think most guys want to, in regards to how women treat them,

 

- be respected

- feel needed

- feel validated

- feel taken care of

- be fed well

- not nagged

- feel appreciated for their work

- be in a situation where they get regular sex with a willing partner

 

And I don't think every person is the same in this regard. I know plenty of wealthy guys, I mean really well off fellows, who refuse to have anything to do with women or dating. ( Some women will call them bitter or picky, I call them just guys who decided they are happier being alone and not having to answer to anyone else, which I think is fine too)

 

What I think is cool about Hefner is he can do what he wants when he wants it. That does include women, but it includes a lot of other things too.

 

Most women do not want most men. Most men get ignored. The few select men that most women chase, those guys don't get treated much better. For those situations, it's all about outcompeting other women for the guy, the guy, what he values and what he thinks and what kind of person he is, usually has nothing to do with it. Pretty girls don't get treated all that great either. Highly desirable people have more options, but they aren't always better options and their problems might be different than most, but they are still problems.

 

To me, it comes to this, most men want to come home and know everything they did that day, all the slogging and fighting and toiling and bleeding to build a real home and to protect his family, that it was worth it, that gutting it out means something. Instead most men go home and get nagged for what they don't provide and what they don't do and aren't appreciated for their slugging it out in the working world.

 

TMLJ

[burning 4 revenge]

Great post Meatloaf Juggler.. I agree the world is a cold place, but consider that the world may be all the more cold for having the contributions of Mr Hefner

[Jersey Shortie]

Reality shows different. Also with a playboy when a woman turns from love to hate like so many do he can just chuck her and not deal with that drama. A married man is stuck with her ass especially if they have kids.

 

 

Love how you go around these boards saying how much women hate men yet your the one saying how easily chuckable a woman is to men and talking about women in terms of "stuck with her ass". The irnoy of your posts never stops to amaze me Woggle.

 

 

 

Interestingly, really feminine and high-self-esteem women don't mind polyamory. I wish I could find more women who like sleeping around.

</SPAN>

 

 

Of course, others will argue that women with truly high self-esteem have enough respect in themselves to not tolerate a man that wants to be the consumate playboy. Some women believe that there needs to be a special focus and workmenship on one relationship instead of diversing ones self amoung many, for the man or woman, no matter how fun that can be. Because the connection that is built one on one out weights the little connections built thinly across a wide spectrum of choices. You can't rationally make all inclusive statements like the one above. Some women that are able to engage in polyamorous relationships, that allow her to also be with many men, can be confident. And then others probably aren't. And women who prefer monogmous relationship also can be confident and others not. Your sentence above does a good job at attempting to shame women with tacits about questions their feminity and self esteem with qualfiers that make no sense. Such as a person's desire to have many relationships or one. It's just plain not logical.

 

 

 

Actually I feel most women are more turned on by a man with many options.

 

 

I think while this can be true, I also feel that most women are turned on by a man with many options that is able to use self control and pick *one* woman to be with. That is really the epitome of appeal to women I think. Women don't want some lazy, go by every sexual whim or fancy man because it says alot about his lack of self control and stablility.

 

Alot of guys here say they respect Hugh Hefner. Why don't we respect men that really have done more for their world then just gave men all over the world more eye candy to get off to on those nights when they are sick of their wives. Men like Barack Obama, Paul Newman, or Jackie Robinson. Those are great men worthy of respect.

[Sam Spade]

Great post Meatloaf Juggler.. I agree the world is a cold place, but consider that the world may be all the more cold for having the contributions of Mr Hefner

 

I beg to differ - knowing that all those hotties are one click away (and want me for who I am ) makes the world a warm and fuzzy place .

 

the Juggler's post is very good because it speaks some somewhat unpleasant truths without going into the gender war territory. Per my current experience, my girlfriend is great: sweet, kind, agreeable, etc. - much, much nicer than the average girl I've encoutered in my life. Yet every once in a while even she can't resist the urge to find or point a flaw in something I'm doing.. And mind you, physically and financially and personality-wise I'm well above the average options easily available to her. But she'll still find something to gripe about (if jokingly). Good thing that I fire back immediately, so we seem to be able to coexist peacefully, at least for now.

[Surfer Dude]

High Hefner has done more damage to the world as a whole then I could even begin to do justice to

 

The dude opened up a door to sexual freedom and removed stigma from sex for the most part.

 

He is the godfather of pornography...and although pronography has had some benefits I think the negative consequences have far outweighed them

I think the main drawback of pornography is that many men will sit at home and whack off instead of putting in effort to f*ck real women.

[Trialbyfire]

While money can remove some stressors in your life, money can't buy you happiness. For those that have or have had, you'll understand this completely.

 

As well, to expect that someone will pump you up and make you happy within yourself, is a losing proposition. Be honestly happy within yourself and you'll appreciate your partner more, as long as they're happy within themselves.

[burning 4 revenge]

The dude opened up a door to sexual freedom and removed stigma from sex for the most part.

the stigma on promiscuous sex existed for good reasons that go way deeper than christianity..judeo-christian values regarding sex can go overboard, but i believe their basis to be based on fundamental natural laws rooted in biology

 

and i believe that much of the sexual revolution has been a revolution against biological imperatives that our less evolved ancestors seemed to understand better than we do on some intuitive level

 

im no puritan, dont get me wrong, but stigmas are often there for good reasons

[Jersey Shortie]

The dude opened up a door to sexual freedom and removed stigma from sex for the most part.

 

When did he do this?

 

Making pornographic images more mainstream doesn't equal to opening doors to sexual freedom and removing stigmas. If anything, it's the exact opposite of that. Just because sexuality is more in our face, doesn't mean it's more free flowing and wonderful and happy.

 

Women are under more pressure then ever to conform to a playmate prescriped sexuality instead of really being encouraged to explore their real sexuality albiet of pre-determined ideals about what female beauty and sexuality really is. Instead, you see it all over the place where women are trying to fit into a model that has been deemed the epitome of what makes a woman a woman through breast implants, a certain style of dressing and a certain way of acting towards sex that has been copy catted over and over again to tell women that "this is how you need to act to be sexy or sexual". Sorry but as a woman, we are a long way off from having the type of life style you speak of. We went from one extreme to the other. If you want true sexual exploration, then encourage women to explore and act sexual based on *their* desires, not what men want their desires and actions to be based on porn pictures and movies. That would be *TRUE* liberation. What you speak of, that's not liberation. That's conformism.

[Sam Spade]

. Most women will respect and be attracted to a man who will walk in a heartbeat if he is not treated right.

 

My biggest fear in life is blurring the line between being an inconsiderate selfish jerk and a pathetic sucker. The area of self-respect is the grey area between the two, IMO.

Realistically, any relationship (any social relationship, not just love) involves compromise in a sence that you may tolerate some inconveniences in order to reap a benefit elsewhere. But sometimes I feel that it is hard to tell if I should kick my woman to the curb on the spot, or give the benefit of the doubt and refrain from jumping to conclusions, precisely because I am very careful to try to detect early on and not to allow any behavior that may signify disrespect. Sometimes it is just hard to tell.

[Jersey Shortie]

im no puritan, dont get me wrong, but stigmas are often there for good reasons

 

I would like to see you say that in the 1960s when african amerians and whites were still segragated!

[Woggle]

I don't find it surprising that B4R and the feminists in this thread are on the same side. I always that except for the abortion issue militant feminists and the religious have a lot in common and their stance on porn and somebody like Hugh Hefner is an example. They are both the enemies of freedom and want a buttoned down society where people do as they are told instead of what they want. Playboy is actually a very classy magazine that shows the human body. While I respect Larry Flynt I admit hustler is a bit sleazy but Playboy is not.

[Woggle]

My biggest fear in life is blurring the line between being an inconsiderate selfish jerk and a pathetic sucker. The area of self-respect is the grey area between the two, IMO.

Realistically, any relationship (any social relationship, not just love) involves compromise in a sence that you may tolerate some inconveniences in order to reap a benefit elsewhere. But sometimes I feel that it is hard to tell if I should kick my woman to the curb on the spot, or give the benefit of the doubt and refrain from jumping to conclusions, precisely because I am very careful to try to detect early on and not to allow any behavior that may signify disrespect. Sometimes it is just hard to tell.

 

The way I see it is treat her well if she deserves it and if she doesn't deserve it you don't want her in your life. I tell my wife that if there ever comes a time that she is not happy she can leave and I will help her pack but once she closes that door she can never come back. If she does not feel I am worth her respect and admiration then she does not need to be with me.

[missdependant]

I respect Larry Flynt for standing up the moral crusaders. He even took a bullet from a piece of human debris claiming to act in god's name.

 

He also wasn't much of a playboy. He was married for years. They had an open marriage, which would probably be inevitable in that kind of business.

 

But him and his wife still loved each other.

 

But yes, the man is awesome. Hilarious in the courtroom too LOL.

[samspade]

I think while this can be true, I also feel that most women are turned on by a man with many options that is able to use self control and pick *one* woman to be with. That is really the epitome of appeal to women I think. Women don't want some lazy, go by every sexual whim or fancy man because it says alot about his lack of self control and stablility.

 

Monogamy and self-control are not always the same as JS presupposes. And a man who chooses to have many partners is not necessarily lacking in self-control. While I agree that one should maintain self control within the confines of a relationship, a man also needs to have the self-control NOT to hitch his wagon to the first female who shows him attention and/or has sex with him. The world is littered with unhappy relationships that are the result of desperate men who "chose" one woman, when they would have been much better off gaining valuable experience dating multiple women and eventually choosing the best possible one....IF, that is, the man WANTS to be monogamous, have kids, etc.

 

The notion of picking one woman to be with for the rest of your life (or one man, if you're a woman) is societal convention, plain and simple. It factors very little into whether or not a woman will find you attractive as a man. There is no need for a man to heed the societal pressure to "settle down" if that is not the lifestyle he prefers; he can still enjoy many quality women without having to have just one. If that bothers some people, that's their problem.

[Jersey Shortie]

I don't find it surprising that B4R and the feminists in this thread are on the same side. I always that except for the abortion issue militant feminists and the religious have a lot in common and their stance on porn and somebody like Hugh Hefner is an example. They are both the enemies of freedom and want a buttoned down society where people do as they are told instead of what they want. Playboy is actually a very classy magazine that shows the human body. While I respect Larry Flynt I admit hustler is a bit sleazy but Playboy is not.

 

Depends on what your idea of sleazy is. Doesn't change the fact that Playboy isn't nearly about women's sexual expression as is being claimed that it is. It's really about male sexual expression and what men want women to be. It's not about accepting women for who they are. Something men claim is something they want women to do for them. It has sent a certain ideal about the way women should look and act to be considered "good enough" or "feminine" enough to attract a man. Again, the irony in your posts aren't lost. You sit behind your computer preaching about "feminists" like it's a dirty word and complain about the injusticies you face as a man but have yet to even consider for a moment that the world women live in isn't any easier on them, and in reality is 10 times harder for the simple fact that women are women, and are still held to a mirrored of ideals, stereotypes and standards that we are suppose to "meet" in order for men to like us. But please continue defending Playboy and please continue ignoring the voices of the real women here.

 

Monogamy and self-control are not always the same as JS presupposes.

 

Most women are going to define self control by a man's ability to keep it in his pants. It's true that women probably do want a man that has other options. But she also wants a man that uses and expresses self control. And at the end of the day, it's women you are dating, not other men. So you and other men can define self control in any way you please but there is still the other half of it , the half and way women might define it that will also be a determining factor if they think your a good enough partner or not. Most women praise men who have the ability to remain faithful to one woman. That's why women love men like Paul Newman and Barak Obama.

 

 

 

The notion of picking one woman to be with for the rest of your life (or one man, if you're a woman) is societal convention, plain and simple.

 

That's not 100% true. Because one can just as easily argue that the notion of playing the field the rest of your life and having many partners is just as easily societal convention.