EmptyPromises Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 my ex and i split about a month and a half ago.heres a history of our relationship: we have been dating for over a year. i first met him when i broke up with my ex boyfriend and he was always there for me. we waited 6 months after we met to have sex, and i decided i wanted himn to be myboyfriend. so we made it official. as soon as we made it official things got rocky. the first weekend we started dating i found out he was hanging out iwth another girl by her facebook & he lied about it.i confronted him and he said he was sorry i took him back and figured he wouldnt do it again...we broke up 6 or 7 times again during the year for lack or respect on his part. he would call me names, accuse me of doing things behind his back,etc just very negative relationship ... well we broke up the last time because i found texts from one girl asking to cuddle naked. antoher girl he was asking to hangout with and then texted her asking to "make love to her on the balcony" he claimed it was a joke and i was veryyy angry and broke up with him... 2 weeks later i missed him and saw a therapist and she told me to forgive him. so i did. but he still didnt know if he wanted a relationship. this went on for about a month , him " not knowing " if he wanted to be with me. finally last weekend he said he did, probably because my ex boyfriend has been trying to get back with me and he found out. that ex is a total jerk too and i would never get back with him. but maybe thats what made my new ex want me back so we decided to work things out last weekend. we both have alot of trust issues(ive been cheated on) and are inseucre sometimes. one of my guidelines was that he called when he was supposed to and one of his was that i chilled out a little bit. ive been chillin out and not getting up set when he forgets to call me, and ive been trying not to start fights etc. he makes me worry so much and i just get anxious ...i have no idea why! i just get no affection from him and feel unwanted and unloved.i feel like he has sort of moved on, ive been the one upset during this whole break up period and hes been loving life hanging out with his friends, going out, and keeping busy. i went to see him last night and when i came home i texted him that i was home ( routine by us ) he usually replies, when he didnt reply i said goodnight babe, no reply. today i call him and tell him happy birthday and asked why he didnt text me b ack and he said he forgot . instead of starting a fight over it i was like its okay dont worry about it. the last straw came just now : its his 21st birthday, i got all dressed ready to go...got him a gift everything...i called him today and asked what he was doing for it and he said he didnt no. talked to him later on and he invited me out if i wanted to go. so i called him about an hour ago cuz i handt heard from him and i asked if he wanted me go come hangout.he told me he didnt care if i went to hangout with him . i was confused.i wanted him to care and asked do u want me to come hangout or no? then he said no, i think we should hangout another night, another night would be better. i blewww uppp.. is this a joke? why wouldnt he want me to haangout with him on his 21st birthday? obviously hes going to be up to no good! i got all ready for nothing and im freaking out. i am so upset over this. i keep going back to him and getting tied him with him and he just keeps messing it up. who doesss that? i love him so much but know i dont deserve this! ive tried letting go so many times but cant do the no contact thing for more than a couple of days. i always thought i could change him but im beginnning to realize i cant. someone advice, opinions, and personal experiences on how to move on. how do i get myself to have enough self respect and dignity to finally just walk away? how do i let go of this jerk ! i have tried during our break up period to meet other guys but i always compare them to him. i feel like im never going to find anyone with a great personality and as good looking as him . i sit at home and think about him and cry all the time. i know i need to get over him but im always thinking i want to get back with him. i need someone to snap me out of this and help me get through this. i am thinking about going on an antidepressant to him. i just feel so low, so lost, so unloved. i want to be with him but im so sick of the way he makes me feel! ugahdsfj
Author EmptyPromises Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 also at one point last week, i went away to vist friends. i left and thought i was begining to accept things, that we just didnt work. i thought maybe we could be friends since it hurts so much not talking to him. do you reccomend no contact? or the alternative way which is when you act happy when he calls, dont call him he calls you, date, etc. hes an awesome guy and would prob be a great friends, i just need these feeligns to go away asap.
aboynamedmike Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 hey... i just broke up with my gf over almost 2 years yesterday and we had a similar relationship to you and this guy. 3 months dating her, i kissed another girl at a party(we broke up for a few days then got back together), last summer she thought I was cheating on her(wasn't) and ended up sleeping with a co-worker, I forgave her after a few months and we got back together..and i asked for a break a few weeks ago, and yesterday ultimately decided i wasn't happy anymore. It's my first time ever breaking up with someone I've loved so much, yet disliked so much. I had the best and worst times with this girl so to just stop having feelings for her isn't easy. But since we're broken up before I kinda know what to expect this time. I cried my eyes out for a few hours after we broke up. Then I felt fine, now I feel regret. But I know that the regret I have is there because of all the "what ifs" and "what could've beens". It's hard at first to see yourself without your ex for a while, but it will come. It takes strength tho, like for the life of me I could only remember all the good times I had with her and really wnted to run over to her apt and hold her, but I knew there were reasons that I had thought about long and hard before hand that made me ultimately choose to break up with her, so try thinking about them! Time heals all wounds. This website makes me feel better already. It's like a million online friends who you can instantly relate to, i love it
adamt Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I'm a month down the line. feeling a lot better condition now. although i still have my moments. What i did to help was go no contact with them, write down all the you did wrong in the relationship, do the same for the ex, but dont send it to the ex.,this may help to start to let go and help you to improve. then i kept myself busy at weekends visiting people, i joined a gym during the week. you need to keep yourself busy to fill in those empty moments. do some hobbies. a month down the line the mist may start to clear and you can see the relationship in a clearer light. Basically become selfish and do all the things you couldnt do while in a relationship Reading forums like this helps, you find people in simialr situations. i've spent many hours on websites like this one. helped me loads and see things clear and get my emotions under control
Author EmptyPromises Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 thanks guys..it just hurts so much because i see myself working on the relationship but not him...it was a slap in the face for him to say he didnt want me to come out with him on his 21st birthday. it mademe sick to my stomach. why wouldnt he want me there? does he even realize what that said? why wouldnt u want someone u love around on your birthday? huge wake up call. i am so angry at him , so disgusted..i want this anger to last so that i can keep no contact. i hate him at this point, for leading me on and for dragging me along for the past month and a half. i am so sad, feel so disrespected and worthless. im embarassed and idk why.
Author EmptyPromises Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 day 4 of no contact...he texted me the other day asking if everything is okay..i ignored him...today he texted me saying i should have just came to his birthday it wasnt a big deal... so then why did he tell me not to the other night? i dont get it... hes not apologizing or trying to talk to me so whatever just a sucky feeling
Exit Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Just block his texts. He obviously was up to something on his birthday, now he's trying to play it off like it's no big deal and you should have been there. Find somebody better, you deserve it.
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