:( My BF did a complete 180 in a very bad way!

[Egychick]

I have been in a LDR with a guy for 2 years who lives in a different country. Everything has been great in these 2 years. Even when he started the army, he made time to contact me...call me, email me, come online, etc. was senistive, and loving, etc. Before this he visited me. He has been the most perfect and great guy all the time I have known him. He always kept his promises, kept his word, and showed he cared.

 

Well, he just finished his officer's college. Now, he is taking a course in computer training for his job. But the day of the graduation he was sooo sweet, and loving, and the man I fell in love with. Then all of a sudden, something snapped. I expected we would work out a schedule of when to talk, and we are planning his trip to see me in the next couple of month. But he changed. We were talking, and he said, we'll talk when there is time...or he didn't answer my calls..or return them as usual. Even when my friend called him, my BF seemed like looking forward to coming to see me.

 

Today, we spoke, first time since his graduation night. He was a completly different person. He basically did a 180...i don't know what happened to him. He told me, he felt a lot of pressure from everything and everyone and that love is making him confused. That he doesn't know how to think..he doesn't want to talk to anyone...he doesn't want to love...and i asked him, what does thatmean for us? Am I not in your heart? He said, not at the moment. And that we should be friends for now, incase he can't see me, it won't hurt as much. But this whole time, he sounded drunk, as he said he was drinking. And that defending his country is the most important thing to him, more than anything else. And he talked to some religious guy who told him to stay away from love.

 

Lastly, he said he loved me, but was afraid...he said he needed time to miss me...like 2 weeks or something...also, that when he is with me together faceto face, he feels like he is in heaven...but talking on the phone and online is realy complicated and confusing. He said he doesn't want to stop talking forever, but he needs time he wants to do what he wants in his life.

 

What should I do? I will give him space...as he thinks i would fall apart without him and do something crazy. Was this really him talking? Or the pressure and/or alcohol? How should I go on from here? Is there still a chance for us? Or is this temporary? Is there still hope? Do you think he loves me and needs time to sort things out?

 

I'm so confused, shocked and disappointed!

[aboynamedmike]

Not a big fan of the military, at least the U.S. military. One way to keep your soldiers in line and straight in the head is to keep them away from "love".

 

Sounds to me like ur guy might've been drunk, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been thinking about what he said. I went thru a similar kind of situation with my ex-gf. I felt pressured by her and overwhelmed that I needed a break. She thought things were going wonderful and they were until she came home and scared me with the whole "i might be pregnant thing".

 

But if he's asking for space just give it to him. Fighting for ur country isn't easy and love would definitely complicate it. If he loves you enough he'll come back

[Egychick]

I hope you're right. I will give him space and not contact him until he contacts me first. I suspect it could be longer than 2 weeks as he seemed to say, he'd talk to me when he could....which meant could even be only twice a month, .

 

I guess someone got to him...and messed his brain up and brainwashed him since being in the military. He used to be so kind and gentle and sweet....even people told me, they would say he was acting gay because he was too nice and soft spoken. Idiots messed up a good person, and that's the true tragedy.

 

I really hope he will contact me again...That we won't end on this bad note...