Pillfairy Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 My husband and I will have been married two years in september, but now he wants a divorce. He's in the military and stationed in Califorina and I was living there with him but he's getting discharged soon so three months ago I came back to our home state to get a job and a house ready for when he gets out. Soon after I came back he started acting funny, not talking to me much and acting rude. Earlier this month a friend told me she saw on his myspace where he was saying he's with another woman. At first, when I asked him about this he denied and even said he's account was hacked and it wasn't him who said that. A couple weeks later he admits it but said she's married to a coworker of his and they did that just to make me mad. I sort of believed him but the more I looked into this, the more it looks like she's not married. Her facebook says she single and there are no pics of a husband or a two year old daughter she claims to have. Her last name is the same as her married name and she's it because her husband took her last name. On myspace, her and my husband always come online around the same time of day. I can't definitely prove if she is married or not since I'm not there in Califorina. I don't think she is. Anyways, my husband says he never talks to 'them' anymore. When I ask why he wants a divorce he says he feels like there's nothing there anymore. When I say we should work on our marriage he refuses. Somedays however, he acts like he might want to consider staying together. Then other days he's just flat out mean and cusses at me for calling. Speaking of calling, his cell is almost always on during the day but when he gets off he turns it off and won't tell me why. I don't know what to do. I don't know if he's really cheating or not, I don't know if it's a misunderstanding and he just wants a divorce for some reason. I don't know. I need advice or something, please.
tojaz Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Sorry Pillfairy, but this sounds like an affair to me, I wouldn't swear to it, but somethind definitely isn't right. Best advice I can give as someone going through the same thing, don't push. Don't spend hours talking about it, etc. This is where I went wrong. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open and maybe try some marriage counseling. Somebody smarter will be along with more I'm sure. TOJAZ
LisaUk Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I agree with Tojaz, it does ound like an affair, but I have no experience of that myself so I can't be sure. There are people on here who can tell you better than I how to approach this, have a look at some of the other threads involving affairs and ask on them if no one comes back to you here, although I'm sure they will.
tojaz Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Lisa, Your really going to have to stop following me to every thread, what will people think? I'm a married man. Kind of. Pillfairy, Unfortunately it takes two to make a marriage work but only one to break it (thanks Gunny) If he is being disrespectful, cussing and being mean. End the talk right there. You don't deserve that, and Nothing productive will come from it. Just call it a day. When he entertains the thought of working on it, get his thoughts on what he feels is missing. Take notes if you have to. In the mean time, learn what you can about your situation. Read some. I'd like to suggest "Reconcilable Differences" by Andrew Christensen and "Divorce Busting" by Michele Weiner-Davis. Both have a lot of information you'll find useful. Keep Posting, TOJAZ
LisaUk Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Lisa, Your really going to have to stop following me to every thread, what will people think? I'm a married man. Kind of. LOL, I promise, it's really not deliberate!
tojaz Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 LOL, I promise, it's really not deliberate! No problem sweetie, love hearing from ya. Free bump for Pillfairy if shes still around TOJAZ
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