stace79 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I'm sort of freaking out, and don't actually have facts, but my fiance and I got in a pretty big fight last night that led to us talking about possibly breaking things off. Today is his ex's birthday, the ex he promised me he would not see or talk to anymore because she broke us up before. I tried to call him around 2 to talk, but he won't answer any phone and he is not responding to e-mail or text. Usually he will at least say "I'm mad and don't want to talk yet". I am petrified he has gone to see her b/c it's her birthday, to get back at me. Not much I can do about it I guess, but like I said I'm sort of freaking out.
lora22 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Is your fiance really that vindictive and immature? I'm not sure how you made the leap from you two had a fight (was it about his ex?) to he must be seeing her right now. From your other posts it seemed that he was being fairly decent about the ex factor. Are you sure you're not more focused on his ex than he is?
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I do think he's good boyfriend material. Please tell me you arent gonna marry this man. Why because he's done this before with the same woman. He doesnt care about your feelings by still being close with the ex. So therefore he'll continue to do it as long as you put up with it.
Author stace79 Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Is your fiance really that vindictive and immature? I'm not sure how you made the leap from you two had a fight (was it about his ex?) to he must be seeing her right now. From your other posts it seemed that he was being fairly decent about the ex factor. Are you sure you're not more focused on his ex than he is? I tend to be overly paranoid about her. He was not seeing her, and I knew pretty certainly that the chances of that were slim to none. But sometimes my mind gets stuck on the worst possible scenario and I can't shake it. He is being decent about it, and he reminded me that as long as I still have the ring on my finger, he's not going to talk to her. We still have some other issues to work out though.
lora22 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I tend to be overly paranoid about her. He was not seeing her, and I knew pretty certainly that the chances of that were slim to none. But sometimes my mind gets stuck on the worst possible scenario and I can't shake it. He is being decent about it, and he reminded me that as long as I still have the ring on my finger, he's not going to talk to her. We still have some other issues to work out though. Well I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you two get everything worked out soon By any chance is your paranoia about his ex one of the issues? I hope you can trust him if you're marrying him!! If he's doing everything right in regards to his ex (and it sounds like he is), I can see how your paranoia would be difficult for him to deal with; conversely I can understand your insecurity about it.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I would NOT marry this guy! There are too many red flags popping up all over the place concerning him and his ex. I bet you anything he's still in some ways intimate with her. When he has any problems with you he runs to her, is that the type of man you want to marry? Trust he's probably in some way gonna sleep with her. if he isnt already doing it now. I wouldnt trust him,he hasnt re-established trust in your relationship so why marry him. Just tell him until the ex can not meddle in our collective lives together i sense no reason to get married. I'll have to look over my sholder every single time she's even mentioned. and I dont deserve that. Bet that'll wake him up!
Author stace79 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 Well I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you two get everything worked out soon By any chance is your paranoia about his ex one of the issues? I hope you can trust him if you're marrying him!! If he's doing everything right in regards to his ex (and it sounds like he is), I can see how your paranoia would be difficult for him to deal with; conversely I can understand your insecurity about it. Well sadly it is not one of the issues we were arguing about. Since we got engaged he agreed as long as we are together he will not be her friend and not communicate with her in any way. However, PREVIOUSLY he would call her to talk when he got mad at me. I am still not totally over it. I would NOT marry this guy! There are too many red flags popping up all over the place concerning him and his ex. I bet you anything he's still in some ways intimate with her. When he has any problems with you he runs to her, is that the type of man you want to marry? Trust he's probably in some way gonna sleep with her. if he isnt already doing it now. I wouldnt trust him,he hasnt re-established trust in your relationship so why marry him. Just tell him until the ex can not meddle in our collective lives together i sense no reason to get married. I'll have to look over my sholder every single time she's even mentioned. and I dont deserve that. Bet that'll wake him up! He doesn't even talk to her at this point. This was in another post, but he sent her a very candid, almost hurtful e-mail letting her know that I was the most important thing to him and he did not want to have a friendship with her b/c it was costing him his relationship with me. She lives two hours away so even before that he was not seeing her; just e-mailling and texting, mostly. Now, since his e-mail, she has texted him twice, he has shown me the messages, and he has agreed to ignore her. Today was her birthday, so I jumped to a (paranoid) conclusion that if he thought we were breaking up anyway that maybe he would go see her or talk to her for her birthday. But that was not true; I jumped to conclusions and he told me that even though he is mad at me he would not see or talk to her unless I took off my ring and we said definitely that it was completely over between us.
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