LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 If you feel it's right to do so you could explain to your wife that there are different types of SSRI and also another type of antidepressents called tricyclics. Here in the UK you can still get MAO's as well, but this is a much less common route. As silly as this may sound, because if your wife really does have clinical depression, it probably won't be enough, but it may be a way to get her to start helping herself, have you suggested any natural remidies? The main one that springs to mind in St.John's Wort. It's herbal, but it really does have antidepressant properties and is recommended by doc's here all the time for mild depression. Again, like I said, your wifes depression sounds servere but it might be a move in the right direction? One point to bear in mind though, although probably isn't relevant at the moment as you are seperated, but St.John's Wart DOES effect the contraceptive pill. So if someone was taking it, they MUST, use other methods of contraception. (Thought I better mention that!)
Owl Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Here's another thought...something based on what I watched my wife go through. What if her depression is a symptom, and not a cause? Or both cause AND symptom? My wife got addicted to online gaming, lost her job, and became somewhat depressed. Her depression led to her beginning an online emotional affair. Her affair damaged our marriage. The worsening state of our marriage caused her to suffer a deeper depression. NOSEDIVE SPIRAL as depression and marital situation both worsened exponentially until d-day. At this point, it's impossible to say if the depression led to the affair...or if the affair made the depression worse. Either way, my point is that I'd suspect that if she was unhappy/depressed prior to seperating, it's as likely to be a symptom of indidelity as it is to be causul to her choice to seperate.
Author Sufferin_Succotash Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Lisa- Thank you for the recommendations (and warnings ) regarding the antidepressants. I will look into it. I do like the herbal idea. Owl- I have been watching her for a while now. If she has had an affair or IS having an affair then she has been EXTREMELY good at hiding it. In my line of work, I am paid to be observant and detail oriented, so I believe I would have found something by now. Plus, I believe my daughter would say something to me if mom was chatting it up with some OM. Plus, isn't it somewhat characteristic of an EA/PA that the cheater is gaining something positive from it... emotionally? Uplifting their spirits? Based on what I have heard, my wife is a wreck all the time. There really aren't (weren't when she was still around) any stints of happiness. But you never know... i may have missed something or I could be blinded. More to your point, I truly believe that her depression stems from a Mid-Life crisis. I am basing this on conversations we have had. Meaningless life, no direction, no purpose, kid getting ready to head of to college soon, etc. So, based on this, I believe the depression came first and caused the marital strife. These are just thoughts and beliefs based on what i DO know. Thanks for lending an ear and providing ALL avenues of options. It is truly appreciated.
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Lisa- Thank you for the recommendations (and warnings ) regarding the antidepressants. I will look into it. I do like the herbal idea. Owl- I have been watching her for a while now. If she has had an affair or IS having an affair then she has been EXTREMELY good at hiding it. In my line of work, I am paid to be observant and detail oriented, so I believe I would have found something by now. Plus, I believe my daughter would say something to me if mom was chatting it up with some OM. Plus, isn't it somewhat characteristic of an EA/PA that the cheater is gaining something positive from it... emotionally? Uplifting their spirits? Based on what I have heard, my wife is a wreck all the time. There really aren't (weren't when she was still around) any stints of happiness. But you never know... i may have missed something or I could be blinded. More to your point, I truly believe that her depression stems from a Mid-Life crisis. I am basing this on conversations we have had. Meaningless life, no direction, no purpose, kid getting ready to head of to college soon, etc. So, based on this, I believe the depression came first and caused the marital strife. These are just thoughts and beliefs based on what i DO know. Thanks for lending an ear and providing ALL avenues of options. It is truly appreciated. Here's a link to a great website about midlife, it's kind of centred on males and infidelity (neither of which apply), but it does actually break down Jungs concepts of midlife transition (how the psyche seperates down), into a fairly easy to understand format. The only problem is the lady writter uses a very small font size, (if anyone can tell me where to find the magnifying glass on my computer I'd be very grateful). www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com
Author Sufferin_Succotash Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Thanks Lisa. I saw that in one of your previous posts to another. I have read through it. It is one of the reasons I believe what I do. Alot of what the author talks about is my wife to a tee right now. As for the magnifying glass... if you are running Windows, then you can find one by going to Start>Programs>Accessories>Accessibilities. You should find it there (if it was installed)
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Thanks Lisa. I saw that in one of your previous posts to another. I have read through it. It is one of the reasons I believe what I do. Alot of what the author talks about is my wife to a tee right now. As for the magnifying glass... if you are running Windows, then you can find one by going to Start>Programs>Accessories>Accessibilities. You should find it there (if it was installed) Yes, my ex also! Thanks fo rthe glass info, will try it!
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