rod_in_gtown Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 For those who say you can't go wrong with flowers... well, you can! You really really can, specially if you write the wrong note... I sent flowers to a girl I've been dating to work and I put some inside jokes on the note... did not go over well AT ALL. In hindsight if I had just had someone else look at it it would've been painfully obvious that it was a bad idea from the beginning. So she freaked out and is now very upset... I hope I get a chance to make it up to her. At least she's still talking to me.
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Ouch, yes, avoid inside jokes and private details, to a degree. Cards get read by the reception desk and everyone surrounding the person receiving the flowers.
butcher's hook Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 What specifically was she upset about the note or the flowers being sent to work? Were the inside jokes sexual?
Bayern Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 What specifically was she upset about the note or the flowers being sent to work? Were the inside jokes sexual? That's what I was wondering.
2sure Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Sending flowers to a woman's office is almost never a good idea. If just dating: It lets a woman's co-workers know that she is dating and this may be information she does not care to share. If in a relationship: It puts co-workers in the position to ask questions like whats the occasion, what did he do , etc? I just hate having my personal life be involved in my professional life via a delivery.
Art_Critic Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 What did the notes say ? 10-1 it was the words not the flowers that has her upset... If I sent my wife flowers to her work and in the note mentioned how much I loved her she would love it... If I sent my wife flowers to her work telling her that the anal sex and bondage ( not that she actually is into that.. , Just using it to make a point ) we had the night before were hot and I can't wait till she gets home so I can tie her up and have my way with her then something tells me she isn't gonna like the flowers..
butcher's hook Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 10-1 it was the words not the flowers that has her upset... Exactly what I am thinking!! Notes on flowers to work have to be super well thought out, other people will more than likely see the note, starting from the shipping department or reception who accepts the delivery all the way down the line to all the nosey coworker women who come buzzing around to see who they are from. It's been my experience every single time. If you are in a meeting when they arrive at your desk consider that note being seen by all who came by to snoop. Especially if it is one of those "tag" notes as opposed to a closed card. ALL things to consider when getting too personal on a note that goes to a woman's work. No woman in her right mind would be upset to receive flowers at work, that alone is the nicest gesture!!!
Lizzie60 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 NEVER send flowers at his/her work place.. very bad idea. it is very tacky... and kind of 'show-off' from the sender... ewwww..
Author rod_in_gtown Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 What specifically was she upset about the note or the flowers being sent to work? Were the inside jokes sexual? Sending flowers to a woman's office is almost never a good idea. If just dating: It lets a woman's co-workers know that she is dating and this may be information she does not care to share. If in a relationship: It puts co-workers in the position to ask questions like whats the occasion, what did he do , etc? I just hate having my personal life be involved in my professional life via a delivery. It's not the first time I sent her flowers at work, and no, it wasn't the flowers. It was just a combination of poor choices and miscommunication. I don't want to put the actual note here because it would just sound VERY wrong in this context... probably should've thought of that before putting something that her co-workers would see. It's a mix of things we had spoken and written to each other about in emails and that we had found funny and had laughed about it afterwards. No it was not sexual or insinuating in any way. But read in the wrong context could be construed to imply some really creepy behavior on my part and compounded with the fact that she had a loss in her family. It's just the perfect storm. I couldn't have made it any worse if I had tried to do it on purpose.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 I just figured it out. I am the real life Michael Scott. I meant well and I just ended up doing something unacceptable by many standards.
bean1 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Ok, so you did something dumb but with good intentions I'm sure she'll get over it if she is someone worth pursuing. My guy has done similar things (always with good intentions) but a good woman will forgive that.
butcher's hook Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 It's not the first time I sent her flowers at work, and no, it wasn't the flowers. Didn't think so. You'd have to be SUPER anal as a woman to get mad at getting flowers at work. It's understood we all have a romantic life outside of work, be it dating, marriage, or relationship it is no big secret human beings want romance in their lives so it's not like you are bringing in some incredibly dark personal secret into a professional setting. Getting flowers at work is the nicest gesture, especially when you are really enjoying someone!! It breaks up the work day nicely.
Art_Critic Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Ok, so you did something dumb but with good intentions I'm sure she'll get over it if she is someone worth pursuing. My guy has done similar things (always with good intentions) but a good woman will forgive that. I think that Bean1 is right.. Just give it some time.. then talk about it and how dumb it was, then apologize
Author rod_in_gtown Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 I just sent her an email, I explained where the message was coming from along with the realization that it was the wrong thing at the wrong time. The funniest thing is that one of my friends said "Dude!! hahaha! that's SO you! You're not allowed to make moves on your own anymore, from now on you must run them by me" I have so little game it's sad.
butcher's hook Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I'm dying to know what you said!! I bet if it made her that mad and your friends think it is inappropriate it must be considered universally out of left field.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 I'm dying to know what you said!! I bet if it made her that mad and your friends think it is inappropriate it must be considered universally out of left field. In the context of our "relationship" it makes sense, but from an outside observer it's one of those things where people say "huh? what does that mean?" (I had to explain it to my friend) But compounded with her recent family turmoil and her emotions being fragile, it was just the wrong thing to say at the wrong time.
Star Gazer Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Sending flowers to a woman's office is almost never a good idea. NEVER send flowers at his/her work place.. very bad idea. it is very tacky... and kind of 'show-off' from the sender... ewwww.. OMG - who ARE you ladies?!?! That's absolutely ridiculous! You'd have to be SUPER anal as a woman to get mad at getting flowers at work. Getting flowers at work is the nicest gesture, especially when you are really enjoying someone!! It breaks up the work day nicely. Seriously! In the context of our "relationship" it makes sense, but from an outside observer it's one of those things where people say "huh? what does that mean?" (I had to explain it to my friend) Well, if it makes sense in context, why didn't SHE get it?
Author rod_in_gtown Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 You should send flowers apologizing I actually thought about it! Well, if it makes sense in context, why didn't SHE get it? It was a little obscure so unless you think about it you're not going to get it immediately. And her first reaction was the one to freak her out, re-reading it and knowing how the death in her family affected her, I can understand how it could've been misconstrued and had I thought a little more before sending it, I would've come to the realization that it was not a good idea to begin with.
EddieN Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I'm trying to deduce what you said. "I know your aunt's death is extremely painful, but just for you I managed to get that red dress she always wore. You know how much I love cross-dressing for you." And wtf to women who would be offended or put off my getting flowers at work.
sally4sara Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Been in floral design for years and years now.....I've NEVER heard of women being upset that the flowers came to their work! Just the opposite actually! Many a time though, I've had to write card messages that I just KNEW would make the recipient cringe to see in a handwriting that they didn't recognize. Rod, maybe you should start just signing your name to the card and leaving it at that!
hoping2heal Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 No flowers are so sweet . Really, any gesture that let's a woman know you care is precious.
Left in a Lurch Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Long ago I decided flowers never seem to go over well, and I feel lame sending them. I recently had just started dating someone and her best friend told me it was her birthday and I needed to send flowers. She told me what to write on the card, and it was something I would never really write but I figured, hey, she knows what women like. I'm mad I broke my 2 rules- Don't send flowers, and don't take dating advice from a woman. No offense women, but women seem to give me advice on how to be like I stepped out of a romantic movie, but if you act like that in reality you come off as kinda gay or a stalker. I'm still embarrassed I sent them and the text response of "thanks for the flowers" and no contact for a week after confirmed nothing is gained by sending flowers. My guess is I'm out $40 for some stupid rose plant and teddy bear arrangement that got planted in the garbage and only gets watered when it rains at the city dump. It sucks knowing I sent those flowers to their premature death.
butcher's hook Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Chat Room Hero - her silly friend probably told your girl that she told you what to write. Women don't keep those kinds of secrets between friends and your girl prob got turn off by that. It would ruin the entire gesture for me. Never write something on a card for someone else. The card is just as important as the flowers, a heartfelt note and keeping it simple is all we want really. Even if it says "thinking of you happy b-day", enough said!
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