singleguy1 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 How do you know when to go into no contact and when not to? I am a little confused if it is a blanket method you just use as soon as someone leaves. Also, is it a method used to get someone back or is it simply a method to move on a forget someone. I am specifically interested in using it to get back together. What if you were left and the person isn't contacting you at all?
lupa Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Let me be the first to tell you what everyone who has been through this will say -- you don't do no contact to get THEM back, you do not contact to get YOU back. They may or may not follow.
LisaUk Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Hi, could you give more specific details of your relationship and split? It's hard to know what to advise re NC without specifics. In general NC is to help stop you pushing someone further away, get them thinking about you and what you are doing. However, it is important to take the time during NC to- 1.Figure out what went wrong, what you did wrong and how you need to change. 2.Get out and enjoy yourself, think about how your life will be without this person and start to move on yourself. 3. If the person does come back, you will be in astrong position, you have fixed yourself and are in a place to fix the relationship now they are willing. 4. If they don't come back, which sadly is a strong possibility, then you will be well on your way back to happy life without them and ready to move forward. 5. It spares you the constant pain of having to hear and deal with them, particularly as a lot of exes get very cold when they leave you. The point of NC really is that the begging, pleading, I'll change behaviour does nothing except push them away, this way it's win win.
LisaUk Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Lupa, you put that way better than me! You're on your way back up man!
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