unrequited Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Strikes me as odd that there is no dedicated forum for crushes. I did a search, but found a lot of people asking for very specific advice on their specific situation. the context of my very simple question: Crush on friend known for about 2 years. unrequited ( via discussion I can get the idea that she'd never be interested in me that way - ) we are very good friends, and I'd like to keep that so I'm gonna get over it in my own way. the very simple question: what is the best way to get over a crush?
Author unrequited Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 thought I would post my own answers to above query in another post, so that it wouldn't clutter the above. (and yes, I realise I am a loser for replying to my own post) My own ways for getting over a crush (seemed to work in the past - have had many, many, many crushes (starting to feel like there's something wrong with me.... ) 1. distance - to think - ( you need to figure out whats real and whats not, and what you're gonna do about it) 2. you need to find some way to make yourself understand AND BELIEVE that you won't be with the person. hard stuff, but you gotta do it. 3. If there's no obvious chemistry (beyond friendship) then there probably won't be any. Yes there are exceptions to this. but if you've known each other for a while and stuff hasn't 'clicked' in that way it probably won't. 4. Make yourself realise this person isn't perfect. find things about him/her that turn you off. This sounds cruel, and debasing, and somewhat superficial, but for some reason it works. 5. drink. and smoke. and eat lots of ice cream and chocolate. but not so much that you develop health issues and/or massive acne 6. repeat number 5 (JK ) I am very open to people debating my ideas above - especially number 3. I have had relationships where there wasn't obvious chemistry at the beginning, but there can be alot reasons for this (i.e. your view of the person changed later or vice versa) Unrequited
samspade Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 what is the best way to get over a crush? Date that person long-term. Chances are you'll get sick of each other eventually.
Author unrequited Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 well here's the thing: - when I said crush, I meant that I had a crush on someone who would not be interested in me. Before you say that I don't know that. were really good friends. We know eachothers personalities very well. We've had discussions about what we're looking for and what we're not. And I don't fit what she's looking for. Sooooo... what I was getting at: -I can't date her for long term as per your advice. aside from that I wouldln't want to anyways. Even if she gave me a shot, I know that the relationship would have a short lifespan, and then we would feel awkward talking to eachother the way that we used to. I understand that there are alot of assumptions on my part here. what i was looking for in this thread was more of what people recommended for getting over a crush
Author unrequited Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 more of a commentary than advice on how to get over a crush: -If you have a crush on a 'best friend' or really good friend and you're certain that it is not mutual (the 'feelings' that is) then is it better NOT to tell them to try and salvage the friendship?
bac Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Go on line and google 'one-itis'. One-itis is modern word for crush.
Author unrequited Posted June 27, 2009 Author Posted June 27, 2009 Go on line and google 'one-itis'. One-itis is modern word for crush. one-itis is a term used almost exclusively by pick up artists. the solution among pick up artists is usually along the lines of "just go find ten more chicks to bang" I'm not saying this won't help, but its funny that thats the only advice. the other point I think this brings up: if the solution is always - just go find someone else - well - does that mean the only difference between one-itis and a relationship is that the latter is requited? does that mean when love happens it just happened to be some random chick who happened to like/love me in return? I"d like to think its more than that. that maybe fate was involved. Of course the pick up artists would have you believe that I'm just a giant poon.
alpha wizard Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Call them on the phone in the middle of the night (make sure you woke them up). That'll piss them off, you'll get a nice gander at their bad side.
Author unrequited Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 Call them on the phone in the middle of the night (make sure you woke them up). That'll piss them off, you'll get a nice gander at their bad side. HAHAHAHHA! I like that. unfortunately i don't think it would work in this case. We're never pissed at eachother if we call the other one in the middle of the night. it happens frequently. and to the poster above that. I understand why your advice is 'ask her out'. its not gonna happen. I'll just hopefully get over it with time, and see if I can get my mind off of it by chasing after other women. anyone else have insightful ways to get over a crush. so far the best technique i've used is to focus on their bad points, and eventually this will make you stop looking at them the same way.
nobody's girl Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Ha ha ha! I find keeping busy helps. Until I say to myself "Boy, I haven't thought about him all day" then it starts all over again. But seriously, keeping buys really does help. I'm also working on repressing memories. Not easy, but whenever my mind starts to wander over him and the time we have spent together, I just tell myself it never happened, was all just a bad dream. Then I find something to keep myself busy - even if it means (gasp!) cleaning my house. Just today I spent an hour working on trying to get one of three broken vacuum cleaners working. By the time I gave up I thought "hey, I haven't thought about him in over an hour." It's a vicious cycle!
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