Just curious

[Mr. Noname]

Hi people,

 

I'm just curious, I want to know how you people deal with the situation. My ex dumped me 7 weeks ago, and I still feel very f**cked every day and just miss her.

 

Is this normal? I also have the feeling that I don't want to let go, like not thinking about her. Scared that my feeling will vanish, because if I feel nice I always think about that she is feeling nice too and has this feeling non-stop, it's a bit unfair.

 

I'm doing the NC thing, for 2/3 weeks now! So people how do you deal with this sh*t and are you making progress, and when should progress be made, after 2-3 weeks, 7 weeks, months, years?

[zakmathiew]

Hello !

I am Zak Mathiew and visited this website for the 1st time and like to continue the discussion.

 

 

-------

 

Zak

 

Attorney

[Gus]

I've read that it takes about 1 year to get over someone for every 2 years you were together. BUT, that's just an average. My S/O's ex GF hasn't gotten over him yet - they were together for about 2.5 years and she still isn't over him after 3 years. I'm thinking that one should relish their time alone and just date several different people just to have fun, but some people just have a need to be in a relationship or fear being a lone. You can be alone and not be lonely - it's the choice one has to make.

 

It's normal to miss someone regardless of how bad the break up was - you keep thinking that maybe that person will come back. We tend to dwell on the good times we had when it would be best to remember the bad times. It's still new to you and you WILL heal and feel whole again, just give it time.

[Lyssa]

You're doing well with the NC? Seems like it. Give it more time and you'll be on your way on getting over here for good! Okay, maybe not for good but good enough for you to want to find your own happiness without having to think about her.

[iBelieve In Symmetry]

Don't read negative stories. Those make me feel horrible, I start getting scared that I'm one of those people that never get over their ex.

 

Keep NC and stay positive. If you WANT to heal and move on, you will. Just keep NC. If you're scared of healing and moving on, that's normal. The thought of not being in love with that person is scary. At least that's how I felt at one point. But you get to a point where you're tired of being in love with someone who isn't in love with you. And you realize you have to move on and you actually want to. And then after a certain amount of time (different for everyone), you actually start getting excited! It's a great feeling.

 

Just give it time. 2-3 weeks isn't much. You're still fresh. Which is in a way discouraging but in another way it gives hope, 'cause you know it's normal.

 

You'll be fine. Just keep doing what you're doing and try your hardest to distract yourself. It'll come with time.

[Mr. Noname]

Thanks for the support!

 

I feel a bit relieved that it's quite normal to have those feelings. She broke up with me 7 weeks ago and I went NC, broke it after 3 weeks to get some answers and ask some questions, In a way it was helpful.

 

After that I went NC and now I'm stick to it, there is nothing more to ask her or say to her. I was just scared I had a depression or something, because I don't enjoy my life the way I did before.

 

The worst of the break up is that I have a lot of time left and I don't know what to do with it, yes I work out, I go out with friends, but that is only temporary... my friends don't have always time. I feel like a nerd, I spend a large amount of time @ my pc.. I feel like she will laugh about my situation, because her life is now so wonderful and succesful!

 

Buttt people thanks again for the support

[andy2009]

I like Caliguy's post "I deserve better"

This should be your theme. Do not concentrate on nostalgia. Because nothing will come out from that.

 

Harder the NC then faster the healing. Healing time also depend on how serious your relationship was from both of you perspective not just HALF OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. (Gus)