asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 We dated for about 2 months. During our brief time together, we obviously had physical attraction to one another, and that never went away. From our first date, I could tell from her body language that she was into me physically, but I still kept my distance at first. Didn't kiss her until the third date. After that, we hugged, we kissed, we held hands, and just had a great time together. The conversation was at the same level. It just clicked. One of our dates we spent 10 hours together, just talking the whole time. Wow. I don't remember having a night like that with anyone in my life. I really don't. Our last date was a really nice one, and ended with a spine-tingling make out session. But something happened in the interim since then and I don't know what it was. She called me a few days ago to say that this wasn't going to work long-term. I didn't ask why and just told her I really enjoyed getting to know her, but that since I'd developed feelings for her this would have to be goodbye. And that was it. All over. Our mutual friends have come up with a couple of theories of what happened. One is that I got too close to her and it scared her. Another is that she was dating someone else at the same time and decided to go with the other guy instead of me. I have no idea what it was. I just know it was nothing I could have done to screw things up. Not because I never screw things up. But we just didn't have enough time together for me to have the CHANCE to screw things up! Whatever happened, I'm trying to envision running into her 6 months from now, given this backdrop to our story. When I'll be 10 pounds lighter and with better muscle tone, of course. She's never seen the side of me that people on this forum have: of being tormented, sad, anguished, and torn up. All she knows of me is that I'm a guy who was a perfect gentleman to her for 7 dates, with whom she had great chemistry, and who handled the break-up without a single complaint and just walked away. By the time I see her again, I know I'll be over her. But I'm trying to imagine what the feeling will be, of running into someone with whom you only had such a positive vibe going when things suddenly ended. I'm sure our hug will be as affectionate as it was whenever we saw each other while dating. The memory of our very last moment together was unlike the last moments of so many broken couples, including my own past broken relationships. We weren't fighting, or crying, or stressed out. We were in my car, in her driveway, and we made out for what seemed like an eternity. Whenever that next time we meet will be, I wonder if she'll wonder what could have been. Who knows. As the title says, I'm just venting here, because I can't vent anywhere else much less to her. I'm moving on from her. I'm going to be dating other women, and maybe something will happen with one of them. I'm climbing a mountain in Colorado. I'm getting on with my life and am saying goodbye to her, step by step, day by day, until the emotions that tied me to her have disappeared. But God, those few moments we had together were great.
Thomas X Forever Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 All she knows of me is that I'm a guy who was a perfect gentleman to her for 7 dates, with whom she had great chemistry, and who handled the break-up without a single complaint and just walked away. Let me add a theory, much like your mutual friends. SHE THOUGHT YOU'RE BORING. SHE SAW YOU'RE FAKE. The end
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Let me add a theory, much like your mutual friends. SHE THOUGHT YOU'RE BORING. SHE SAW YOU'RE FAKE. The end Off your meds again eh?
Thomas X Forever Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 And the fact you reply like that, despite saying how you were such a perfect gentlemen to her, etc., shows that you were fake to her. You've just proven it. Do you think she was so stupid that she couldn't sense you were hiding it?
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 And the fact you reply like that, despite saying how you were such a perfect gentlemen to her, etc., shows that you were fake to her. You've just proven it. Do you think she was so stupid that she couldn't sense you were hiding it? Right. Because I treat women in my life the same way I treat Internet trolls.
Lyssa Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 As the title says, I'm just venting here, because I can't vent anywhere else much less to her. I'm moving on from her. I'm going to be dating other women, and maybe something will happen with one of them. I'm climbing a mountain in Colorado. I'm getting on with my life and am saying goodbye to her, step by step, day by day, until the emotions that tied me to her have disappeared. But God, those few moments we had together were great. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and the right attitude! It's a good thing you're keeping yourself busy too. Look at it this way, she's now just a memory . Keep it up, asuman!
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and the right attitude! It's a good thing you're keeping yourself busy too. Look at it this way, she's now just a memory . Keep it up, asuman! Thanks Lyssa. I was lamenting to a buddy the other day about how hot I thought she was. His response: "Ok, so you got to make out a bunch of times with a hot chick. Not bad. Move on!" Onward and upward I guess.
Thomas X Forever Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Don't mistake me for a troll. I wield the DSM-IV intelligently to come to the most honest outcomes. Ask most people here how nice I am. The reason I was mean to you was because that was exactly what I needed to be, in order to see if you were as I suspected. Which you were. Now that you've shown who you actually are inside, you can connect the dots yourself on why she may have sensed you were fake. Sorry if this method I used makes it seem like you were played a fool, but it was necessary.
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Don't mistake me for a troll. I wield the DSM-IV intelligently to come to the most honest outcomes. Ask most people here how nice I am. The reason I was mean to you was because that was exactly what I needed to be, in order to see if you were as I suspected. Which you were. Now that you've shown who you actually are inside, you can connect the dots yourself on why she may have sensed you were fake. Sorry if this method I used makes it seem like you were played a fool, but it was necessary. I'm not even going to begin to pscyhoanalyze the amazing diagnostic powers you seem to think you have, not to mention the amazing personality you're convinced "most people" think you have. Rather than playing whatever screwed up mental game you're desperately trying to engage in, though, I'll leave you with a tip that will in fact (contrary to whatever you're trying to do here) improve your life: Go to your "professional model" website that you run, and run a spell check on the word "persue". Some day you'll thank me, troll.
Lyssa Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Thanks Lyssa. I was lamenting to a buddy the other day about how hot I thought she was. His response: "Ok, so you got to make out a bunch of times with a hot chick. Not bad. Move on!" Onward and upward I guess. Yes, not bad. Move on!! Lol - I agree with him! You will have more hot chicks to make out with. Hot or not, just be yourself. Whenever you see yourself thinking about her or wanting to contact her - come here instead and vent! I did just that whenever I am down about a particular thing (esp if I don't feel like talking to any of RL friends) and it helped me a lot!
Thomas X Forever Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Continue to bash me all you want, but you're most likely arguing against yourself, not me. You're proving who you are inside with your snide and negative comments. You need to understand this is who you are, and be honest with the next girl. Good luck.
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Continue to bash me all you want, but you're most likely arguing against yourself, not me. You're proving who you are inside with your snide and negative comments. You need to understand this is who you are, and be honest with the next girl. Good luck. Dude... seriously... you're weird and creepy. (And you really need to spell check that website)
northstar1 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Let me add a theory, much like your mutual friends. SHE THOUGHT YOU'RE BORING. SHE SAW YOU'RE FAKE. The end Dude, this is not helping. Better to go point your high powered perception and anger elsewhere.
GirlBytheOcean219 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 hi ive seen a lot of posts by thomas the past month and although some i disagree with... this is one i agree with. hon, girls can tell when you're hiding somethin. my ex and me dated a good 3 yrs, and i pressured him a lot the first few months to open up. he ended up admitting he was hiding who he was in fear he would lose me. you remind me of that, tc
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Yes, not bad. Move on!! Lol - I agree with him! You will have more hot chicks to make out with. Hot or not, just be yourself. Whenever you see yourself thinking about her or wanting to contact her - come here instead and vent! I did just that whenever I am down about a particular thing (esp if I don't feel like talking to any of RL friends) and it helped me a lot! Yeah, actually I started out writing this vent to an IRL friend of mine. But the poor girl has been so patient with me and such a good friend that I figured I'd give her a break. And also this vent was pretty corny. Much more suitable for an anonymous vent forum!
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 hi ive seen a lot of posts by thomas the past month and although some i disagree with... this is one i agree with. hon, girls can tell when you're hiding somethin. my ex and me dated a good 3 yrs, and i pressured him a lot the first few months to open up. he ended up admitting he was hiding who he was in fear he would lose me. you remind me of that, tc 3 years? We went out on SEVEN dates. There was no appropriate time for me to be blubbering to her about how much I had feelings for her, and nor did I feel a desire to do so. We had fun dates and simply had a good time together. On our last date we actually started talking about serious topics, our views on relationships, etc. There are a million different reasons why dating situations can turn south on a dime, and I'll probably never learn the reason why. That's ok. I'm sad it didn't work out, but I enjoyed the experience.
Thomas X Forever Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Damn striaght, Ocean. Act real, boy Doesn't mean you have to be mean. But pretending you're a perfect gentlemen who can't be hurt, etc., is bs. I think that actually makes girls paranoid that you're a serial killer or something.
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Damn striaght, Ocean. Act real, boy Doesn't mean you have to be mean. But pretending you're a perfect gentlemen who can't be hurt, etc., is bs. I think that actually makes girls paranoid that you're a serial killer or something. To take you seriously for a moment, you have the wrong impression of how things went. I was definitely expressive of how I felt about her, through my words, the emails we exchanged, etc. I didn't tell her I was madly in love with her, because I wasn't, but I told her a few times how much I enjoyed being with her and she told me the same. During the dates themselves, I just handled myself the way I do with all women: I wasn't pushy, let things flow naturally, and kissed her for the first time when the moment really felt right. I can't think of anything I would have done differently, in hindsight. My torment began after she started acting strangely after our very last date. The date ended well. But then she was out of state for a week, then I was out of state for a week, then I asked her out and she said she was busy, and a week after that came the break-up phone call. *shrugs shoulders*
Thomas X Forever Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Well I have to assume then that maybe she was just crazy. I personally find it very respectable that you don't look to kiss girls until at least the 3rd date. That is something I think 99% of guys could learn from you, and wish they would. That is class right there, which this world lacks greatly. Perhaps I was incorrect and being too harsh on you. If that's the case I truly apologize. This site is just full of people who hide behind rainbows and butterflies, and hate to face the facts, and I guess sometimes I generalize. If you were a victim of this I once again apologize. Because it is entirely possible you just got unfairly screwed over by this girl. In which case, hopefully it will come back around on her.
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Well I have to assume then that maybe she was just crazy. I personally find it very respectable that you don't look to kiss girls until at least the 3rd date. That is something I think 99% of guys could learn from you, and wish they would. That is class right there, which this world lacks greatly. Perhaps I was incorrect and being too harsh on you. If that's the case I truly apologize. This site is just full of people who hide behind rainbows and butterflies, and hate to face the facts, and I guess sometimes I generalize. If you were a victim of this I once again apologize. Because it is entirely possible you just got unfairly screwed over by this girl. In which case, hopefully it will come back around on her. No worries. On a mobile so can't write much. Though I'm angry at her at times I wish her no ill will. I'm flat out not interested in her offer of "hanging out" though, which she told me during the phone call. What, so I can make her feel better about dumping me and I can feel worse about the same thing?
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 No worries. On a mobile so can't write much. Though I'm angry at her at times I wish her no ill will. I'm flat out not interested in her offer of "hanging out" though, which she told me during the phone call. What, so I can make her feel better about dumping me and I can feel worse about the same thing? Btw, speaking of being honest, my exact words to her were: "Maybe we can hang out some day in the future. But I developed feelings for you, so you probably won't hear from me for a while." She said: "Ok, that's fine, that's a good plan." (Uh, I didn't realize we now had a "plan" but whatever. I have enough "friends" in my life. Date me or leave me alone so I can get over you and move on).
stace79 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I did this to a guy once, although we only had two amazing dates, one outstanding kiss goodnight and several multiple-hour phone conversations. I blew him off b/c my ex came back. My bet would be she had the same situation or was trying to decide between two guys, and you got the short end of the stick. Sorry.
Author asuman Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 I did this to a guy once, although we only had two amazing dates, one outstanding kiss goodnight and several multiple-hour phone conversations. I blew him off b/c my ex came back. My bet would be she had the same situation or was trying to decide between two guys, and you got the short end of the stick. Sorry. If that were true, it would make me feel better. If the #1 theory (I got close and she freaked out, and there's more to the story indicating that's what really happened) is what happened, I'll be upset and aggravated all over again.
Thomas X Forever Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Damn I looked back at the beginning of this topic and feel bad now. I wish I could erase my posts In any case, best wishes. We've all been screwed like this. Hell, even recently it happened to me. Probably my fault though. Gotta be able to make fun of yourself
Author asuman Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 Damn I looked back at the beginning of this topic and feel bad now. I wish I could erase my posts In any case, best wishes. We've all been screwed like this. Hell, even recently it happened to me. Probably my fault though. Gotta be able to make fun of yourself Don't worry about it dude. The more I've thought about this situation today, the more I'm becoming convinced that she met someone else. A bit painful to accept. But at least it makes sense with how things played out. I still have no regrets.
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