wattodo Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Hey everyone, I hope someone can give me some guidence on my situation. here goes, My boyfriend and I got together two years ago, and broke up a few times and I took him back everytime. Then two years into our relationship, when I thought everything was perfect, he went away on a friends stag party, told me that they would be going to strip clubs and ha organiszed a stripper. I wasnt very happy with this but glad he was honest with me. He kept in contact with me a little bit while away on the 4 day party. On his return he was quite quiet, and a week later he told me he cheated on me by kissing someone, I was absolutly heartbroken. I left our home and days later he found me at a friends and cried on the doorstep for weeks. he sent me flowers, love letters, lots of little presents. I left it for a month and decided to take hime back. I love him, he swore to me that he'd never do it again. although I believe him, I ont trust him100% yet. Recently due to work stresses he had been going out to his friends house, didnt keep in contact with me and didnt come home to the next day. I was so worried, and so mad, thinking that I could have a man that would not do this to me. What am I to do, I love him, i know he loves me, but how do I get it through to him that its not acceptable to carry on the way he has been latley. I dread the day he asks me to marry him, and he goes off on his stag do, because im afraid of what will happen. Am I worrying about nothing?? Is there anyone out there that can help me,I love him dearly, I just need reasurance...please help. x x x
mistletoe Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 i'm sorry dear:( you're a such a good lady and I don't know how you actually put up with all of that. I feel very sorry for you. i can tell that you may be committing to this relationship more than he does. he does things outwardly, any girl would logically wouldn't agree on (eg. going to strip clubs, kissing another girl, not contacting you, being home with you etc.) it must be been so forgiving and brave of you to carry on. I wouldn't give my bf a chance if he did those things to me, reason being: If he chooses do it now, he can also choose do it to me in future. Somewhere down the road, there might be a possibility that he's lost some form of respect for you. I'm sorry to mention this. Remember that you aren't the only one in this relationship. he has a part to play as well. no matter how much you love him, consider ending this relationship. think about it. and think it again. if you wanna end this, don't return to it. i don't seriously believe in returning back after a break up. A break up is just an excuse for any couple just to avoid the situation(if they're intending or hoping to return to it) Mean what you say and do, and he will respect you for it at the end of the day.
sad_dude Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Ah wattodo, I'm really sorry to hear your boyfriend did that to you, I agree with misletoe I couldn't take back a partner that had done that to me. You sound like a loyal commited woman, you deserve the same in return. i reckon you need to have it out with him, as it's not good for your relationship to have these many doubts. It will take time if you want it to work for the trust to come back, if it ever will I can't tell you. You are your own person. I couldn't trust someone that did that to me (it happened to me with one of my ex's and she was out the door, I know i sound ruthless, but I know myself personally and could admit to myself that without trust all hours of the night i would worry) All I can say is you know yourself better than anyone, you have some tough choices to make. if you can be true to yourself, you will make the right choice. Just remember you are such a loving caring woman! if you truely believe him and can live with the trust issues until they subside then stick at it. BUT remember what i said you are a caring loving woman could someone else deserve your love more, would you be happier. Take care and good luck, Let me know how you get on....
mochamoosextm Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 thats what im worried about. my boyfriend is soon to be going to a strip club, im worried that he will cheet on me. but just not tell me.
Lucky_One Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Recently due to work stresses he had been going out to his friends house, didnt keep in contact with me and didnt come home to the next day. Unacceptable behavior. 1000%. I assume that you called the police and filed a missing persons report, because the only reason that a person who is living with a partner in a monogamous, committed relationship doesn't come home or at least call to say where they are must be that they have been in an accident and are comatose, or have been kidnapped, or are dead in a ditch. What was his excuse for not coming home and not calling you? And why did you accept it?
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