lilly83 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I am confused at the moment and would really appreciate your help on the best thing to do. Things seemed to be going well between my boyfriend and I. I know that he had come out of a 5 year relationship but other than bills and things in the house he has no contact with his ex and she is the one who eneded things, she has moved in with her new partner and even cheated on my boyfriend. He was the one who done all the chasing and was keen to meet me. He was the one who asked for us to become offical etc. He had said to me several times that he hopes that we will be together for a long time and that he does not want anything to ruin the chance of that. He said that he likes me and wants us to go steady and take things slow. He is 26 and I am 25. We talked a lot because he has been through a lot and I have been through some bad times as well and I asked him what would make him happy. He said that me saying yes to moving in with him when things are more developed. The last time we saw each other was Sunday, all was good, we both had fun talked about the plans for next weekend. Kissed and cuddled a lot and again he said that he hopes we will be together for a long time. Monday morning seemed fine, he works as a career and txt me is hours for this week so I knew when he would be available. Then in the afternoon I got a message saying he is finding it hard to focus on the relationship. I replied saying I understand and he is not to worry. He then said that he is finding it really hard at the moment and that he needs time and space. I then messaged him on tuesday morning asking how he was. He messaged back saying that he is ok and is not sure if he can be in a relationship now as much as he really wants to be. I messaged back and said please dont end this by txt, I know you are finding it hard and im happy to give you the space. He replied saying he is not ending things. He just wanted to be honest and hopes I respect that. He just needs some time and space. I messaged back saying I understand that, I hope he has a good a good day and if he needs me or wants to talk im there for him. I then had been thinking through out the day and wanted him to know what I thought and felt as well and be honest with him. I said that I know things have been moving a bit fast and that maybe we should slow things down and take a step back. Less contact, see each other twice a week max and no sleeping over. I said I understand and know that he needs time and space and im happy to give him that. I also said I feel there is something special between us which I dont want to loose and said that I want what he said that he wanted, for us to be together for a long time. I had some interviews yesterday which he new about. He did not respond to the message I sent. how ever I woke up to a message from him last night asking how the interviews went. I guess this is a good sign, him showing interest in me and how things are?? I responded to message saying sorry for late reply, only just got the message as I was asleep. Asked how he was and let him know how I got on with 2 kisses and left it at that. He has not replied but I know he wants space and is at work. Also what should I do about the plans for Saturday Should I leave it or casually ask him on Friday if he would to meet up as planned?? It would have been a week by then since we last saw each other. He has not changed the staus on face book, says we are still in a message, said that he is not ending things and just needs time and space as he is finding it hard at the moment. Do you think he still wants us to work from what I have said? Do you think he is taking the time out so he can sort him self out and give us the chance that he wants to give us? Also do you think I should ask how much time and space he wants? See if he means a week, 2 weeks a month. Sorry that it is so long. I really like him, care about him and want us to have a good chance and I would really appreciate your advice.
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Well one question. How long had he been broken up before he got with you? This is vital in the healing process. Anyways it sounds to me as if he is unsure about his emotional feelings, that they may be unstable. He is trying to sort himself out and that can't be done in a week, it usually takes weeks, even months. He is probably lost and feels pretty confused. I suggest you do give him his space but to remind him you'll be there for him. As for asking him about saturday i say go ahead. Hope this helps.
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