Your Favourite Smile Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Im unclear on exactly what to do with a guy id been involved with. He just suddenly stopped contacting (everything was fine beforehand) and hasnt contacted for about a month now. What really gets me is that this was a relationship that was improving and seemed as though it was on the up. Though i must say, it has been on/off in the past.. due to lack of communication. I recently heard from a good friend of mine that he 'apparently' is going out with someone now. Of course, im deeply hurt and this is the only piece of information ive had... so its difficult not to believe he is with someone else. I guess i need some advice. Im finding it hard to cope and have not been eating hardly at all. Id just like to know whether id be right in thinking that perhaps after this 'rebound' he will soon contact me in the hopes that ive been hanging on all this time- as his 'fallback'. If this were to happen, what would be the mature thing to do/say? Plus, theres very good chance in me seeing him in the area.. and id like to know what i should do should this situation come. Do i just ignore him? I cannot see myself talking to him anytime soon, yet i cant stand the thought of not ever talking.. This is really difficult.. i have blocked him online and have deleted messages that make me upset. Can anyone give me some advice?
mistletoe Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I had gone through this before. I suggest you to move on with your life:) If you hadn't done anything wrong, i don't think he was being very nice to suddenly stop contacting someone he had actually been contacting in the first place. There're a number of possibilities why he might have been this way. possibly.. #1 He was weighing between a coupla girl friends and had chosen one in the end (which isn't very nice toying around with everyone:mad:) #2 Because of the on/off communication, it might be his huge ego that made him not to contact you because he had always been making the first move. #3 He hinted it to you but you haven't responded/responded late then? #4 He just treated you as friend but now he's found someone else, he decides to keep to contacting only one person. But strangely, he has not mentioned her to you. If you see him around, i think you should just keep your cool, smile and say hi and ask him how he's been doing. Don't bombard him with questions or look depressed. Guys can see through emotions too. Forget those times and be happy and normal like you had always been before:) He might see you as a great friend after all:) Let this be just a passing phase in your life! By the way, please eat and hang out with your girlfriends. Don't let this control all your emotions, you're a beautiful person inside out!
Author Your Favourite Smile Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 If you hadn't done anything wrong, i don't think he was being very nice to suddenly stop contacting someone he had actually been contacting in the first place. I hadn't done anything wrong youre right, and this is what hurts me.. Thanks for the advice, ive realised that ive nothing to feel bad for and what he has done is his problem. Yep you're right, i think indifference is the best way to go and shouting at him or questioning him would only be wasting my energy. I think i should be the same if he contacts..right?, after all.. ill be much calmer by that time too. Is it wrong for me to say that i hope he realises what he has lost?
mistletoe Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 yes you should definitely still be the same! remember that you are who you are, and not someone he has made you to be:mad: Is it wrong for me to say that i hope he realises what he has lost? I dont suggest you should say that, remember that you weren't his girlfriend in the first place. and supposedly he had always treated you like a friend, he'll probably be thinking why in the world you sent him this. and then it will be so awkward to even meet or say hi the next time. Be strong! Set your mind free
Author Your Favourite Smile Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Thanks, you're right Ooh no, i didn't mean 'say' it in that sense, i just would like him to realise one day that he has lost something. Im not one for revenge or anything like that, i just like the thought that he will perhaps look back and realise. (Sorry about that!) But yes, we have been involved and in a relationship too within the past 2 years.. which is making it hard to imagine not EVER talking to him again. But for now, im going to recover from this thing and try to make the most. Thanks again!
Author Your Favourite Smile Posted June 26, 2009 Author Posted June 26, 2009 I think id like to update on this, id prefer not to post a new thread if its based on this same situation. I was with a group of friends last night, and got information that he has indeed been involved with this girl yet it lasted a week. (This information is very reliable as it comes from my good friend- whos boyfriend is close with my ex) So, i know im playing a guessing game here but- would this 1 week thing be regarded as what one might call a 'rebound'? I dont want to jump to conclusions here, but it would make a LOT of sense if this was a 'rebound'. Id just like things a little clearer in my head..
guitarplayer1234 Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 The mature and logical thing to do? Forget about this guy and move on. If you see him in public smile and say hi and continue on your way. He wasn't even man enough to pick up a phone to tell you he doesn't want to be with you, I wouldn't want anything to do with someone who did that to me. You'll make things clearer in your head if you just forget about him.
Road To Joy Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 The mature and logical thing to do? Forget about this guy and move on. Short and simple.
sedgwick Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I'd say if you see him, just keep walking. I saw my ex a few months ago and that's what I did -- looked down, turned up my headphones, kept going.
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