daddylove Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Three months ago, my partner of 11 years and I decided to go on a family holiday with our three young daughters aged 4, 3 and 1. We had both been under a lot of pressure lately and we needed to recharge the batteries and give up smoking ~ finally. We ended up having an argument in the car and instead of getting angry in front of the kids, I got out to cool off thinking she'd come back for me. She never did and when I got up to the holiday the next day our fight esculated I am ashamed to say I pushed it to the point where she exploded and physically assaulted me, called the police, put me on assault charges (even though I was bleeding and she didn't have a scratch on her ~ I have never been physical with her) and then to make matters worse, uprooted the kids and took them to her parents home. She then called my business partners and screwed that up and painted me black to everybody she could think of. She clearly hates my guts and I am devastated about this. I never saw it coming as I was so focused on the work pressures and we were intimate right up until the night before. There are too many other details to list here but the main fear I have is that she is telling me through our solicitors that I can only see my babies every fornight and this is not suitable. My kids and I adore each other and they tell me on the phone that they want to come down every weekend. What upsets me the most is that I do not know who this person is. I always praised her as the best mum in the world, but right now she seems to be putting her hate for me and my family ahead of her love for the kids and this is very concerning. When they come home they have a host of sports activities and have over 20 extended relatives who they adore and who love them deeply. This is the opposite to what they experience at their grandparents where it is just mum and her parents. Additionally. I told her Dad that he is full of BullS^%T and he is a very vindictive and controlling man and it is almost as if he is using her to punish me. My psychotherapist points out that there is a pattern here and sometimes the more thay hate you can be the flipside of the more they love you and that the opposite of love is actually indifference. I don't want to hold on to false hope and have seen the errors of my ways and have been a self sacrificing rescuer for most of the relationship I have since learned. Now the victim has become the persecutor and I appear to have become the victim. Any thoughts as to what might be going on here would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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