dressing up Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 He doesn't have TONS of disposable income, but I can see where he definitely has more than the other girl, and he might think that he has more than me, so he might be trying to be generous (or trying to show off or something, who knows). You're right about him paying attention to her over me though. I don't really know what to make of that. Like, I'm sure he wasn't trying to be rude, but at the same time, it WAS rude, and I don't know if it was just a faux pas, if he's into the girl, or he's just kind of socially inept sometimes and didn't get it. I kind of think it's instinctive for guys to talk to girls who they like more. Unless they're playing games. With all that I've read, he probably likes you two and won't mind dating you two. But I doubt that's what you want. You mentioned that you would like to be friends with him. If so it doesn't really matter whether he talked more to that girl. I get that what you really mind is that he's being a douchebag. The only way you'll know is continue socializing with him, albeit as a friend, and discover it for yourself.
Author lora22 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 I can't see this being too difficult to turn back into friends. For that matter, the first time he pushed it with pet names and holding your hand, that would have been the time to let him know he's just a friend, through body language and gently but firmly withdrawing your hand. If you're getting together again, drop in that you enjoy his company as "friends". Then, when the bill comes, insist on paying since he paid your bill last time as "friends". Next time we're out, if there is a next time, I'll drop the "friend" line and insist on getting him back When he insisted on paying the bill last night I did actually say "OK, well I owe you, so I'll get next time" and he pretty much blew it off. Maybe if I drop the friend line he'll change his tune As far as body language, I definitely wasn't touchy-feely with him (sat across from him, didn't touch him, etc.), and I did withdraw my hand both times he took it. I really don't want to send him mixed signals so I've tried to keep that in mind when we hang out!
Author lora22 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 You mentioned that you would like to be friends with him. If so it doesn't really matter whether he talked more to that girl. I get that what you really mind is that he's being a douchebag. The only way you'll know is continue socializing with him, albeit as a friend, and discover it for yourself. So true. I think in the future I'm just going to have to try to make sure that when we hang out it's DEFINITELY in a group setting, as opposed to turning into a group thing. That'll probably help me figure it out. Geez, this friend thing should be easy!
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