Daisy62 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Have been going out with a guy for 3 1/2 years - He has his own company which he had purchased just before we met within a few months of us dating the business started on a downhill slide he had borrowed a huge amount of money to buy this business - so he started to get very down and depressed very moody. He also had a flatmate which did help out with paying the household expenses but who hit on me everytime I went to the house - always behind my mans back but it made life very uncomfortable I didnt say anything because I knew he was desperate for the money but It did make me stressed out everytime I went to his home. Which made me snappy so boyfriend depressed - girlfriend grumpy. The flatmate left and I thought great we can now finally have some time together - however obviously this affeced once again his money situation. So hes absolutely broke. In the meantime he had put the business on the market expecting to sell it in a reasonable time however after a couple of years hes had no serious interest and is still slugging away making very little money. He is very down feels totally trapped and had got to the point that every time we went out in the weekend he was was writing himself off. We have been arguing hard out - him down with the financial situation - me trying to encourage and suggest other options but at the same time not happy that for the small amount of time we were seeing each other he was writing himself off - no sex for weeks on end - always wanting to talk about the business and his problems. I would get myself all dressed and ready to go out nice clothes nice underwear etc then within hours he would have drunk that much that I would just be helping him home and putting him to bed. Consequently it got to the stage that I would start to get grumpy before he even came to pick me up knowing what the evening would be like before it started. For the last 10 months or so we have been arguing all the time. So last week he called it off said he had enough stress in his life without the constant arguing with me. I went to his place at the weekend and picked up my stuff he put his arms around me and gave me a hug I could see the love in his eyes its so there. We talked a little bit then I left - later that night he sent me txt so I txt him back that if he wanted to talk to me I did have a telephone - he rang me straight away and we talked for an hour. He then rang me the following morning and we ended up talking for the whole afternoon. We went through all the issues and got everything out - he understood how I felt and I took on board that maybe I had been offering advice when I shouldnt and so on... We have argued and split about 4 times already but only lasting for a couple of days this time its different - its extremely serious. Our feelings for each other have been really affected by the constant aguing he didnt want to spend time with me because I knew I would be grumpy and I didnt want to see him because of the constant depression and drinking and also felt I wasnt getting the attention I deserved. So we spend the afternoon talking and its over (him holding my hand the whole time) - but we had analyzed all the issues - I have asked him to try again now that everything is out in the open. He said to me he thinks its all too late and its final as far as he is concerned, but he will think about it. Then - the following morning I get a txt. Hi Honey hope you have a great day. Which confuses the heck out of me. He rang me that night and we talked for an hour. Last night I had a male friend at home which my ex knew was comining and who would be gone by 8.30 so he rings me at 8 which he never normally would (again im confused) We ended up talking later and he has agreed that we will spend some time together this weekend - but we are not officially back together and we will talk about stuff after that. I am just so confused - if it was over why did he txt me after I had picked up my stuff - why did he txt me Hi Honey have a nice day, why did he ring whilst I had a male friend there - why has he agreed to spending some time together this weekend ??? Advise would be so appreciated.
wattodo Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 this is quite simply the case that he misses you, he loves you, his head was all over the place, and he may feel that he's in a new place right now, and reay to begin again with you, dont walk straight back in there the same as before, make sure he goes to get help, to talk things through with you there, you deserve at least that. If your like me and wear your heart on your sleve and ready to take a chance on love, it your call, I did a few times with one special man, he broke my heart, but I know with some hard worrk and dedication, our relationship will make it the length...hopefully yours will too xx
Author Daisy62 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 Thanks for your words - i am pretty sure he still loves me in the last couple of days things have changed - he now has a new flat mate so a bit of the financial pressure is off, he is ringing me everynight and starting to joke and laugh again his voice is lighter, will see what happens at the weekend just going to take it slowly and see where it goes. I love him to pieces and yes do wear my heart on my sleeve.
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