My name is ED Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Hey, some of you might of already read my other thread i added earlier asking for advice about my marriage now the question i have is simple. Why is it that people who get married while in the military get divorced a lot? i know a lot of people that got divorced, i am working on getting divorced because of the same reason a lot of others did, their spoused cheating on them. Why? is it because they are always at work? because they get deployed up to 15 months at a time? why is it so hard for their wives/husbands to stay faithful while they are away? Can we not count on then to be waiting for us when we return home? If love is supposed to be unconditional why do they cheat? They go off to a country where if something goes wrong they may return in a box, why should they have to worry about that and on top of that have to worry about their significant others cheating on them because they are not there. If they married a person in the military shouldn't they already know that they have a hard road ahead of deployments and being moved around? they should know that they will leave for 4-6-8 12 or 15 months at a time. Why use the excuse of you were not here when i needed you and he or she was. Thats Bullsh** What do you think?
530 Guy Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 That's just the way some people are. Some people have no idea what they're getting themselves into when they marry into the military. I didn't get married until after I got back from my deployment, lol. Missed out on a lot of extra pay.
Author My name is ED Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 That's just the way some people are. Some people have no idea what they're getting themselves into when they marry into the military. I didn't get married until after I got back from my deployment, lol. Missed out on a lot of extra pay. Yeah hehe all that extra pay i'm making is gone and what ever i have left its going for divorce costs... They should know what its like to marry into the military they don't just marry their husband/wife they get married into the service also. -ED
usmcwife0825 Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 It's not easy being married in the military. It's not for some people. It takes a STRONG relationship to make it, especially during those long deployments. We live on base and met a nice lady not too long ago. Her hubby is deployed. About 2 weeks ago, she left her blinds open and I saw her and another man doing the nasty.. Ever since then, her house has been vacant. It's sad. I feel sorry for her hubby who doesn't return until October. Hate to hear about your situation. Good Luck.
Molley Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Hi Ed, I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. I'm a spouse of a man in the military. We met right after he got out of basic and was stationed in the area that I lived, fell in love, dated 4 years before getting married. We celebrated out 14 yr anniversary at the same time that I found out he was having an affair. Up until this time, he's been faithful as have I. We've had a wonderful marriage through all the TDY's, deployments and he even got stationed overseas for 15 months, without me. Then he hit midlife, was away from me for 7 weeks and found his honey and realized that he was bored at home. All of the sudden he liked that his honey was also in the military because they were able to share stories so easily. Why do people in the military cheat? Probably the same reason people in the private sector cheat... Only in the military it's more prevelant because couples are apart so much. Also, many couples tend to get married very young, first love, they get married in a hurry, don't realize they aren't ready... one goes away on assignement, the other gets lonely, scared, bored, etc and cheats. Or, often the person who's in the military does the cheating because he/she is lonely, scared, bored... Military life has it's own set of challenges for both the spouse and military member, the constant moving, being alone, deployements into war zones, PTSD... when I first started dating my H, he got deployed to Yemen, I was lonely and so worried about him... and I was in my late 20's, already had many past relationships, yet it was difficult for me to rap my head around the fact that the person I loved was in a strange country and I didn't know if he was okay or not. For a young wife who's husband is deployed and she finds herself away from home and family for the first time, its almost unbareable and she may easily turn to another man for companionship. It's no excuse, but often spouses are not prepared for the lonliness and sadness associated with military life. After a few deployments you get used to your spouse being away, but it takes resolve and it takes both couples to make it through. My husband would write and call whenever he could, I would do the same. So, did my husbands A happen because he was in the military? No, I think it happened because it happened... we're trying to work through it now, but it's a long road. The good part is, the military is paying for our counseling... Military One Source, you get 12 sessions for each of you in IC and 12 session for MC. They've got it so nicely planned out... and it's like that because the military is hard on married life and it hard on the ones who serve, their spouses and their children. I wish you all the best.
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