gopher Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Have you ever taken a friend's advice about a dating relationship or potential one? If so, how did it turn out? I had met this woman at my tennis club, attractive and very playful with me. So, I mentioned her to my friend who is also a tennis pro at the club. He teaches her women's group and has know her for at least 6 years. His advice to me was run the other way, that she was a major b!tch, and a very unhappy person. I would have never picked up on this otherwise, not knowing her yet. Sadly, I seem to find these types of women all the time, but that's another story.
mammax3 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 It can be tough to trust a friends opinion because you may feel Oh, She wouldn't be like that with me. But if a person isn't consistently and reliabley nice and friendly (or other attributes you like) to the people around them, then is this someone you want in your life? However, are you and this friend of yours usually on the same page when it comes to personalities of others? That is to say, is your friend's definition of b!tch and yours similar or the same? Do you agree on other people who you think are mean or unfriendly? That's something to consider.
samspade Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 If your friend has known her for six years, it is probably wise that you take into consideration his assessment. Unless you think he is trying to c*ckblock you...but if he is a good friend, my guess is he is looking out for your best interests. I take advice from good friends all the time - that's what they're for!
lora22 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I've taken that type of advice and been glad (later on) that I did (once to stay far, far away, and once that the person was pretty cool and I should consider him); I've also ignored that advice, only to deeply regret ignoring it (basically was told he was crazy, a mess and trouble, and I dated him anyways). I think a lot of it depends on where the advice is coming from, how well the person knows both parties involved (ESPECIALLY how well s/he knows YOU, but it's also important that they're not just giving advice based on rumors), and what their intentions are (like, is it a "friend" of the opposite sex trying to cock block you or go after the guy/girl for him/herself?? Stuff like that).
Trialbyfire Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 gopher, is this friend similar in personality as you, or quite different? The reason I ask is that people who have similar values and understand you, will be the ones who's advice will work better for you. Most people give advice about people, that work for them, not necessarily you. Realistically speaking, who knows you better than yourself? Deconstruct yourself so you can understand what drives you. When you've figured that out, you can figure out what and why certain personality types complement yours. Where I think you might want to draw the line, is that if you're attracting or are interested in people who aren't good for you, perhaps it's time to break those patterns previous to getting involved with anyone else.
Author gopher Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 It's a really good friend who is married, so no cock blocking going on. He and I are very similiar people...He shared with me some of her behaviors over the years, and I typically don't want to date someone with a temper. Been there and done that!
Author gopher Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 gopher, is this friend similar in personality as you, or quite different? The reason I ask is that people who have similar values and understand you, will be the ones who's advice will work better for you. Most people give advice about people, that work for them, not necessarily you. Realistically speaking, who knows you better than yourself? Deconstruct yourself so you can understand what drives you. When you've figured that out, you can figure out what and why certain personality types complement yours. Where I think you might want to draw the line, is that if you're attracting or are interested in people who aren't good for you, perhaps it's time to break those patterns previous to getting involved with anyone else. Agreed TBF, I have a hard time understanding why I am attracted to and considered attractive by this type. I had NO clue she was a volatile person and yet she seems to be. I do have some thinking to do about myself.
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