struckby Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 How do you transition from dating to a bf/gf relationship? I have gone out with this girl several times over the past two or so months. I want to bring things to the next level and am unsure of how to do it. I was planning on telling her how I feel about her at the end of our next date. How should I do this? Thanks! Btw, we are both in college and both have never been in a relationship before.
boogieboy Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Youre both just dating for 2 months and havent stayed at each others places yet? By now you should be spending at least 3 days a week together. What gives?
torranceshipman Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Hey, there's no formula for this, Boogieboy! Struckby, just tell her how you feel...you guys have been dating long enough for her to know whether she's into you enough to get serious. She's probably been waiting for you to ask (-; Good luck!
samspade Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Enjoy the ride and don't worry so much about such things. She will bring it up when she is comfortable with the idea. If you push it, you will disrupt the natural flow of things. She'll find your patience much more attractive than your eagerness, trust me.
ON MY OWN Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 You also can tell her you would like the two of you to be exclusive, noone else, dating only eachother. The best of luck, keep us posted!!
Author struckby Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Ill keep you updated. I am slightly worried that she is not as interested as I am hoping for. Since we have both never been in a relationship before, I am wondering if she is really aware of how interested I am despite the fact that I have asked her out multiple times and she has said yes. Here are some of the things I am worried about: She never initiates contact -- but always answers my calls and texts and asks me questions backWhile she said yes while I asked her out directly which would have made my intentions clear in my opinion (I said "I'd like to take you out to dinner) I am not completely sure she said yes because she is interested but because we are good friendI text her that I miss her sometimes and she never tells me she misses me back What do you guys think about those two things? I still plan on telling her how I feel though..I guess we will see. Thanks for the help! -struckbylove
mortensorchid Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Although it sounds very cheesy, simply ask her "Do you want to go steady?" People still say and mean it now. See what she says.
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Ill keep you updated. She never initiates contact -- but always answers my calls and texts and asks me questions backWhile she said yes while I asked her out directly which would have made my intentions clear in my opinion (I said "I'd like to take you out to dinner) I am not completely sure she said yes because she is interested but because we are good friendI text her that I miss her sometimes and she never tells me she misses me back What do you guys think about those two things? I still plan on telling her how I feel though..I guess we will see. Thanks for the help! -struckbylove You should stop initiating contact so she can chase you for a while. STOP telling her you miss her and how you feel, if she doesnt tell you how she feels. You will just put yourself in the friend zone, and push her away.
Bayern Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 You should stop initiating contact so she can chase you for a while. STOP telling her you miss her and how you feel, if she doesnt tell you how she feels. You will just put yourself in the friend zone, and push her away. True. Some (not all) girls make these things into a game. Perhaps she loves the attention of having you initiate contact and tell her how much you miss her. Take it away a bit and you might get more interest out of her. I usually don't play that game though (if I like someone I can't bring myself to play games with them). It could work for you though. I just can't stand it.
Confusedalways Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 In a somewhat tacky approach, try joking around and asking her when you are going to make it facebook official. Gauge her reaction from there. (worked for friends of mine, who are both in young 20's)
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I usually don't play that game though (if I like someone I can't bring myself to play games with them). It could work for you though. I just can't stand it. Problem is it isnt really a game. Its just natural that we pull away from people who give us too much attention. So like the push pull effect, naturally we get curious to go after what is pulling away. Its the same concept of giving a woman you just met a huge bouquet of flowers on the first date. Guess what she does?
pandagirl Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Problem is it isnt really a game. Its just natural that we pull away from people who give us too much attention. So like the push pull effect, naturally we get curious to go after what is pulling away. Its the same concept of giving a woman you just met a huge bouquet of flowers on the first date. Guess what she does? I disagree. If a person in INTO another person, a bouquet of flowers will just make a woman swoon. It's romantic.
DarkestDreams Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Problem is it isnt really a game. Its just natural that we pull away from people who give us too much attention. So like the push pull effect, naturally we get curious to go after what is pulling away. Spot on! I am so sick and tired of people who use the term "games" in general and are completely clueless to the fact that it's all just basic psychology. The attraction laws exist and operate independent of logic. If anything, people who "play games" have learned to identify them and adjust their behavior accordingly in order to produce the best outcome.
DarkestDreams Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I disagree. If a person in INTO another person, a bouquet of flowers will just make a woman swoon. It's romantic. It's a romantic gesture in general, but not on the first date with someone you've never met before. Now if he brings you flowers on the second date...that's something different.
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I disagree. If a person in INTO another person, a bouquet of flowers will just make a woman swoon. It's romantic. Not for a serial dater. If a woman goes out on alot of dates, obviously she isnt INTO all of them, so gestures like that look desperate.
pandagirl Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 The serial dater would like the flowers if she was into that one particular person, despite dating others.
boogieboy Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 The serial dater would like the flowers if she was into that one particular person, despite dating others. Not talking about the one shes into, im talking the ones she ISNT into.
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