2sunny Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 then move on by being fair to your wife. divorce her. you said there were others (plural). how can this possibly be a marriage that can be happy when you don't have any remorse for your wife - only selfish feelings for being "pretend" married to the OW. there is no recovery in any relationship if you're not honest and also willing to change. i don't see either one in your legal marriage. the cart is before the horse. if you are divorced the OW may be more motivated to date an available man - not a MM.
Author offset_man Posted June 29, 2009 Author Posted June 29, 2009 Hello 2sunny. The marriage has been a joke hasn't it. Funnily enough I love my wfe (LOL now, but that is true) and I had difficulty seeing me and the OW in a long term relationship (she wanted me to marry her eventually and talked of it frequently). I also made a commitment to see my children all the way through school and I will do that. What happens beyond that is anybody's guess. Frankly it has taken more balls to stay in the marriage than leave which would have been completley selfish which by the way the OW said she respected in the OM she met -he was leaving a childless marriage of 20 years. That takes balls? No question if I had been available then the OW and I would still been seeing each other. The fact that I am unavailable and she has more free time than I have (she's an agent and is out and about all hours of the day and night while, by the way her husband is home with her kids) made it difficult although she accepted it for 3 years without question. She grew extremely jealous of my wife. Unfortunately she found someone who could give her more emotional support than I could when she needed it and found the too few recent personal encounters too much to deal with. She says she is now going to "focus" on her family and suggests I do the same. I have not contacted her nor has she me. She always wanted to see my slides taken in various countries in Africa however we never quite got around to it because of the logistics. I am making her a framed collection of some of those pictures and will leave it at her office, but that is it.
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