fairycake Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I'm on to 5 months since my breakup and feel like I'm doing better, it still hurts to be cast aside by the only guy I've loved and had a relationship with but I don't miss him as much or long for him to contact me anymore. The thing is recently lots of people I know are getting engaged/married or moving in together and it's just rubbing it in that I'm on my own and I'm getting those fears of being 'on the shelf' and feeling insecure even though I'm only 26! It's always been hard for me to meet guys, I don't know why, suppose it's because I'm quite shy and in a small friendship group dominated by girls but I don't meet many people through my friends, or uni or work. Get approached in bars sometimes but only by sleazy guys after one thing. Other people seem to find it easy to get with one person after another. How do I get in the 'dating scene'? I don't want to actively look for a new boyfriend but it would be nice to have some attention and options.
jlr Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I'm 27 and I know exactly how you feel. I'm the same way. I'm not good at meeting new people. I'm bad at small talk and all that. It bums me so much to know my ex (we were together for 5 years) has now found someone else. Makes me feel like what's wrong with me that I'm not talking to other girls? I guess I've come to conclusion that this is me. I'm not that type of person. And usually, when I do meet someone, it ends up being longterm. Others can jump from one to the other, but they're often short-lived. It's like different personality types maybe? I have to go to a friend's wedding in August and it's killing me thinking about it! -Eddie
Author fairycake Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 thanks Eddie. I'm glad it's not just me! I'm actually OK at small talk, always been shy but managed to learn to hide it and I'm generally pretty good at social situations and talking to new people, I just never seem to meet any potential boyfriends. I think I feel I have to hook up with someone else to prove I can as my ex was with someone else within 3 months and I was his 3rd girlfriend that year. All this I found out after I was in too deep with him and I believed it when he told me he felt something for me he hadn't for the others...not that I know if he told all them he loved them etc but it haunts me that he might have and I was just another in a long line...anyway I think I now realise I don't have to get with someone else to prove anything, I just like the security and support of a relationship. I did manage to feel happy at my friend's wedding, as there were lots of people I get on with I managed to focus on chatting to them and ignore the bad thoughts. Hope you get on OK at yours.
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