butcher's hook Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 There are different varying degrees of stupidity, for me one of the highest forms of stupidity comes in the form of ignorance paired with strong opinions. That for me is unforgivable, I can handle a person's "simplicity" if you will but when ignorance is paired with arrogance that to me is a true sign of stupidity. A gift of the gab is not intelligence, and conversely making mistakes is not a sign of stupidity. Bottom line is no one can tell you what stupid means to you, someone who continually lacks understanding of everything around them to me would be considered dumb. Someone who does not have a basic knowledge of current events and of life, someone who does not communicate at a level that is equivalent to their age and maturity is considered less than adequate. Someone who uses lingo as if they were in an age and demographic group wich they have long outgrown is considerend dumb to me. People make faux pas, that to me is not stupidity. I had an ex boyfriend who would always make the exact same typos when writing emails, I must have corrected him a million and one times but he continued to make the same mistakes. I guess you could say it could have become a pet peeve, but instead I chose to focus on all his other amazing qualities and who cares if he got lazy making the same typo. I didn't care at least. You need to decide for yourself what is acceptable and what is not.
Trialbyfire Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Eddie, this is what I mean about dealbreakers. Everyone has them. On the otherhand, you can't obsess and be disgusted by one little incident, since you don't know if it was just a brain lapse, being cutesy or a consistent inability.
EddieN Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Eddie, this is what I mean about dealbreakers. Everyone has them. On the otherhand, you can't obsess and be disgusted by one little incident, since you don't know if it was just a brain lapse, being cutesy or a consistent inability. Yeah, you're right. Thing is I had a class with that girl and would sit next to her and talk with her 2 days a week. She never said anything in class like she said to me when we were out, but little by little I could pick up that she wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. I don't really like a girl very often, and when I do one thing said isn't going to break that. I have brain farts now and then and say some dumb stuff as well (well, not really dumb stuff, but weird crazy stuff, haha). I understand that one thing said doesn't characterize a person. Whenever a girl I liked said something really dumb, though, she always and did many other things that gave me the impression that she generally wasn't too bright.
Author Eleventy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Yeah, you're right. Thing is I had a class with that girl and would sit next to her and talk with her 2 days a week. She never said anything in class like she said to me when we were out, but little by little I could pick up that she wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. I don't really like a girl very often, and when I do one thing said isn't going to break that. I have brain farts now and then and say some dumb stuff as well (well, not really dumb stuff, but weird crazy stuff, haha). I understand that one thing said doesn't characterize a person. Whenever a girl I liked said something really dumb, though, she always and did many other things that gave me the impression that she generally wasn't too bright. This is how I feel too. By the way: I just texted her: "What is 52 minus 56?" "Negative four?" ";P just teasin you." "Jerk lol."
donnamaybe Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 This is how I feel too. By the way: I just texted her: "What is 52 minus 56?" "Negative four?" ";P just teasin you." "Jerk lol." Then she could very well have been playing the "dumb girl" routine which, if it were me, would disgust me MUCH more than someone who is just lousy at math.
Author Eleventy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 "Anyways I am sorry for my math comments earlier... I was just thrown a bit off-guard, that's all." "Oh it's okay" Crap! Still no indication that she was just playing around.
dreamergrl Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I can't believe you're still obsessing over the math.....
butcher's hook Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I can't believe you're still obsessing over the math..... :lmao: Seriously!!! :lmao:
Author Eleventy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I know it seems silly. I just can't believe someone would need to text me that question... still can't get over that. But hey she got that question right So maybe it was just a brainfart of some sort. Maybe a really, really big one.
dreamergrl Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 OMG - you know what.... I think that your lacking the smarts to just let something go when it needs to be let go of. I would be disgusted if someone kept going on and on at me over one little freaking question. It's not a good trait, and I'd rather be with someone who lacked math skills, then be with someone who was going obsess and obsess, then correct me over and over again. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
Author Eleventy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 And no, I don't correct her/bug her about any of that THAT much. I figure it's healthier to vent here than to do that.
Thornton Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Everyone is different, and what bothers you won't be a big deal to someone else. My friend refuses to date a woman who he thinks is more intelligent than him, or who is even approaching his level of intelligence, because he feels threatened. In contrast, my bf wouldn't date anyone with whom he couldn't have an intellectual conversation. Intelligence is important to you (and me), and that's fine - but if someone isn't right for you all you need do is say "no thanks", there's no need to be mean about someone just cos they're not what you're looking for. My Mum always told me I was really lucky to have a good head on my shoulders, so I should never look down on people who were less fortunate in that department. Also, intelligence isn't the be-all and end-all of everything... my Mum isn't particularly academic, but you would be hard pushed to find a better person than her - she's an angel. She probably couldn't do 21-28 either, but I've seen her sit with a dying woman and hold her hand, and care for kids whose parents didn't look after them, and do without food so she could afford to feed me when I was little. The girl you're talking about probably has a lot of other positive qualities too, despite her lack of skill in mathematics.
lora22 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Let me ask you guys, then, what you would consider to be "unintelligent" if the examples I've posed in this thread are not good indicators? Being bad at math and/or grammar doesn't make one "unintelligent," it just makes him/her bad at math and/or grammar, or possibly just careless. I'm wicked dumb when it comes to math, but I've earned a JD from a tier one school. Am I "unintelligent"? I don't think so. My dad can't spell to save his life, and his grammar (their/there/they're; it's/its; your/you're and so on) isn't all that fantastic either. But he went to an Ivy League university and earns nearly 7 figures a year. Is he unintelligent? Don't think so.
dreamergrl Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Everyone is different, and what bothers you won't be a big deal to someone else. My friend refuses to date a woman who he thinks is more intelligent than him, or who is even approaching his level of intelligence, because he feels threatened. In contrast, my bf wouldn't date anyone with whom he couldn't have an intellectual conversation. Intelligence is important to you (and me), and that's fine - but if someone isn't right for you all you need do is say "no thanks", there's no need to be mean about someone just cos they're not what you're looking for. My Mum always told me I was really lucky to have a good head on my shoulders, so I should never look down on people who were less fortunate in that department. Also, intelligence isn't the be-all and end-all of everything... my Mum isn't particularly academic, but you would be hard pushed to find a better person than her - she's an angel. She probably couldn't do 21-28 either, but I've seen her sit with a dying woman and hold her hand, and care for kids whose parents didn't look after them, and do without food so she could afford to feed me when I was little. The girl you're talking about probably has a lot of other positive qualities too, despite her lack of skill in mathematics. Being bad at math and/or grammar doesn't make one "unintelligent," it just makes him/her bad at math and/or grammar, or possibly just careless. I'm wicked dumb when it comes to math, but I've earned a JD from a tier one school. Am I "unintelligent"? I don't think so. My dad can't spell to save his life, and his grammar (their/there/they're; it's/its; your/you're and so on) isn't all that fantastic either. But he went to an Ivy League university and earns nearly 7 figures a year. Is he unintelligent? Don't think so. I like this! :D:D:D:D
EddieN Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 My dad can't spell to save his life, and his grammar (their/there/they're; it's/its; your/you're and so on) isn't all that fantastic either. But he went to an Ivy League university and earns nearly 7 figures a year. Is he unintelligent? Don't think so. Going to an Ivy League school doesn't necessarily mean you're smart, it just means you have connections.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 OP, please ask yourself the following question: What do you think the opinion of *YOU* would be if the girl in question read this post? Put yourself in the hot seat. Because I doubt that you would come off any more attractive to her for the comments, while your honest feelings, expressed here. Do you think she would consider you an extremely intelligent young man? Perhaps a kind and generous one? There are more ways to be intelligent in life then just knowing how to do math, albeit how simple or hard it is. Emotional intelligence will carry you far in life on a different level that no math problem ever will. And to me, it sounds like you have a long way to go before you reach that kind of emotional intelligence. The result of all this is that I've lost a lot of respect for her intelligence. She's pretty, but now that's all I see: A pretty face and no mind behind it. Every time I think about her I just imagine a useless husk of a human being painting itself all day with makeup but lending nothing to society. How could I ever lean on her for support, or trust in her judgment, or have confidence in her abilities and intellect if she can't do something so simple? Frankly, this is more then just not being attracted to someone not as intelligent as you would like. That I can understand. But you have purposely made it a point to insult someone, degrade them as a human being, going as far as to say they are "useless". That's extremely harsh, cold and showcases a personality trait of yours that I doubt is any more attractive then not knowing simple math. What do I suggest you do? I suggest you let her be a 17 year old girl in high school and find a man that truly respects her and doesn't have to work so hard and struggle with his opinion of her between "worthless human being" and "sweet and caring girl". You at 22 should understand that someone at 17 is NOT going to be at the same maturity or with the same life experience. And I get the impression that that is part of the issue. You at 22 should not have such a detrimental and degrading opinion of another human being based on a level of intelligence *you* don't think they have. I am more concerned about the venom in your post then I am some 17 year old girl who asks a simple math question. Heck, I can't spell and I am not even that good at math. But I am far more intelligent then those two things could ever fully express. Please do the girl a favor and let her find a man that will love and respect her in a way you cleary are currently unable to do.
lora22 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Going to an Ivy League school doesn't necessarily mean you're smart, it just means you have connections. True...but my dad and his family were dirt poor (came over from Ireland with NOTHING), and I can guarantee that in both his and my cases, connections had nothing to do with it. Hard work, determination, and intelligence had a lot to do with it.
EddieN Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 True...but my dad and his family were dirt poor (came over from Ireland with NOTHING), and I can guarantee that in both his and my cases, connections had nothing to do with it. Hard work, determination, and intelligence had a lot to do with it. Not saying anything bad about your pop or you. I'm sure you both earned what you have now. I just don't like the Ivies or most of the people that go to them.
lora22 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Not saying anything bad about your pop or you. I'm sure you both earned what you have now. I just don't like the Ivies or most of the people that go to them. LOL I guess my point is just that you can't always make assumptions about rich kids and Ivy Leagues.
Isolde Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 It's a preference for you, nothing more and nothing less. Try not to overthink it.
BobSacamento Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Hey how's the weather up there on your high horse? Seriously, everyone knows women are notorious for being less than adequate at math.
Author Eleventy Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Going to an Ivy League school doesn't necessarily mean you're smart, it just means you have connections. This couldn't be further from the truth. Many kids do have connections, yes, but I went to an Ivy as well (0 connections)
Author Eleventy Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Jersey: The truth though is that both are important. Emotional intelligence is not enough in most cases. Love is great but there are certain elements of pragmatism that need to exist for things to work. Life throws all sorts of situations at you, and having emotional intelligence is not going to get you through those tough obstacles. Perhaps I was being a bit harsh, yes. I was in a bad mood when I wrote that OP. I do not think she is "useless" or anything like that. It's just that there are certain elements to her education that are lacking and it makes me question whether or not I can see myself with her in the long term (which is the only way I can focus on someone for dating). It's more an issue of "If I had to trust her with something important, how well can I rely on her ability to solve problems and reason things out logically?" If you can't do simple subtraction, odds are you aren't going to be able to streamline/facilitate your own processes for reaching a conclusion to a problem adequately. Like I keep envisioning a scenario where I may need to count on her for something or to overcome some problem with her, only to find that she's incapable of doing anything on her own, even at the most simplistic of levels.
Cora Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 This is very interesting! I see nothing wrong with being attracted to a woman for her intelligence. Everyone has their own taste! I wonder how many men out there value a womans intelligence? Unfortunately, this is where I luck out with the opposite sex. Not only am I lacking in the intelligence department but I am also pretty damn ugly! So I really have to try hard to win a mans attention. LOL What's a girl to do when she lacks brains and bronze?
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