blair08 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 What do you call this...other than crazy! Ha! I was thinking there was a name for it but not sure. Its where someone is doing some things that make YOU feel you're losing your mind or going crazy. Example: You know for sure your keys were laying in a particular place, the other person was looking for them just to say there are not there. You know they were laying there, now you're looking for them everywhere, feeling like you're losing your mind because you know they were there earlier. Later on you see them laying right where you had thought they were to begin with. You get an odd feeling (because this has happened before too) that you started to wonder if maybe you're not crazy but someone is trying to make you feel that you are by doing sneaky stuff like that, for no real apparent reason. So has anyone experienced anything like this before?
Ronni_W Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Not that I find labels all that helpful but, in this case, I think I may call it "trust issues". If your intuition is telling you that this person is trying to mess-up your mind, then there's probably something to that. Now your question is what is his/her purpose for doing that? Is it hidden resentment? Jealousy? Does s/he possibly need a psychiatric evaluation? Or is it time for you to remove yourself from this situation entirely? In my own life when that type of thing happens, I say that the fairies are having some fun with me again. Once they get tired, I find my keys...right where I thought they were, as you said Go with your own gut about what is happening in your own life, is my suggestion.
Author blair08 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Not that I find labels all that helpful but, in this case, I think I may call it "trust issues". If your intuition is telling you that this person is trying to mess-up your mind, then there's probably something to that. Now your question is what is his/her purpose for doing that? Is it hidden resentment? Jealousy? Does s/he possibly need a psychiatric evaluation? Or is it time for you to remove yourself from this situation entirely? In my own life when that type of thing happens, I say that the fairies are having some fun with me again. Once they get tired, I find my keys...right where I thought they were, as you said Go with your own gut about what is happening in your own life, is my suggestion. Thanks Ronni. There was another time that I can think of where this kind of thing happened. Its not on going or anything, but still, for whatever reason my radar went into alert mode when this happened, and I'm not a naturally suspicious person or anything. I was thinking I had read about this kind of thing somewhere before too, about how there are people who can make you feel like you're losing your mind, or you start to question your own sanity when its really them that's doing these things to place that doubt in your mind to begin with. I was thinking it was like a form of gaslighting but maybe not. Anyway, you're right. The question would be WHY would they do this to begin with, and what pay off are they getting from it. To me it serves no real purpose, but maybe to them it does.
RunawayTrain Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 It is called gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic example of gaslighting is to change things in a person's environment without their knowledge, and to explain that they "must be imagining things" when they challenge these changes. The term derives from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a wife's concerns about the dimming of her house's gas lights are dismissed by her husband as the work of her imagination, when he is actually fully aware of the reason for their dimming. This is part of a wider pattern of deception in which the husband manipulates small elements of his wife's environment, and insists that she is mistaken or misremembering, when she challenges them. One psychological definition of gaslighting is "an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim - having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception."[citation needed] The term has also been used in a political sense to describe the deception of electors by political parties.[1]
Author blair08 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 It is called gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic example of gaslighting is to change things in a person's environment without their knowledge, and to explain that they "must be imagining things" when they challenge these changes. The term derives from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a wife's concerns about the dimming of her house's gas lights are dismissed by her husband as the work of her imagination, when he is actually fully aware of the reason for their dimming. This is part of a wider pattern of deception in which the husband manipulates small elements of his wife's environment, and insists that she is mistaken or misremembering, when she challenges them. One psychological definition of gaslighting is "an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim - having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception."[citation needed] The term has also been used in a political sense to describe the deception of electors by political parties.[1] Thanks. I was thinking it was something along those lines but wasn't quite sure. The question is though, WHY? I mean what is the point of doing that to someone anyway?
Ronni_W Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 The question is though, WHY? Blair, The only one who knows that answer is that other person -- if you start making yourself crazy with trying to figure out "Why?", that just feeds into the goal of the game. Call him or her on what you suspect is going on. Give specific examples, ask what role s/he played and what was the intention/motive. Ask if you've pissed him/her off recently. Suggest that it is passive-aggressive behaviour (not "funny" or "cute", if that is the excuse that you get), and perhaps they ought to consider therapy. That is, do something more constructive that just trying to figure it out in your own head...you don't have the information to do that, anyway.
Author blair08 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Blair, The only one who knows that answer is that other person -- if you start making yourself crazy with trying to figure out "Why?", that just feeds into the goal of the game. Call him or her on what you suspect is going on. Give specific examples, ask what role s/he played and what was the intention/motive. Ask if you've pissed him/her off recently. Suggest that it is passive-aggressive behaviour (not "funny" or "cute", if that is the excuse that you get), and perhaps they ought to consider therapy. That is, do something more constructive that just trying to figure it out in your own head...you don't have the information to do that, anyway. I've already metioned it to him, in a non-accusatory way too. He basically just said what I thought he'd say. He didn't do anything with it, and it wasn't there when he looked. Of course it wasn't when I looked either but was earlier and I know that it was, then it all of a sudden is disappeared and returned. Anyway, i get what you're sayng about no one really knows why someone would do things like that but them. I mean i can be angry or have resentment about something but not do something like that to another person, but guess others would if thats how they choose to operate.
JackJack Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 It's about control. The illusion of control. To them they feel they are being in control and powerful when they do things like that. Its really the opposite. They are doing it because they are out of control and are powerless. Perhaps he feels you have changed or are moving forward in life and he feels left behind or threatened. It could be a number of reasons. I would say, just keep and eye on things. Its really all you can do at this point. Also, call him out on nothing, even if he was doing these things, he would deny it. So hang tight for now.
RunawayTrain Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Thanks. I was thinking it was something along those lines but wasn't quite sure. The question is though, WHY? I mean what is the point of doing that to someone anyway? I would assume he is doing it because he has some deep rooted psychological disorder or personality disorder. It sounds like he has to psychologically control you in order to make himself feel better. It also is an ego thing. I have had it done to me before and it takes a toll on you emotionally, and plainly, it sucks.
Mary3 Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 You might have a Ghost. But seriously , the guy is playing with your head. ....... Or you could be suffering from delusions due to great stress. Which do you think it is ? I am banking on him messing with you.
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