Ilovehim Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I don't know what to do to completely get him out of my system. He has moved on and is in love with someone else, I've been soooo lonely..only have a few real friends and honestly I hardly have time to see or hang out with anybody. I try not to show it and sometimes I find myself being happy but deep down I'm still hurting. There are nights where I'll cry thinking about everything. I believe Im ready to move on, ready to be with someone else but there isn't anybody and Im just tired of being LONELY for a year!!! I want to have somebody even if its more friends just to go out, have fun or be there for me when my world is upside down...UGH.
EmptyPromises Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 aw i feel the same way.. im finding it so hard to move on when theres nothing to do, my friends suck and never go out, and i cant seem to find a guy without comparing my ex to him. i would love to be with someone else who make sme happy but i feel liek no one is out there! i feel like my ex has also moved on, and its not fair. when do our prince charmings come along?
Author Ilovehim Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I don't know girl. It sucks! And what sucks more for me is that there is someone I like but he is so confusing towards me and I'm starting to wonder if he even wants this cause yeah...And I know what you mean about comparing your ex to the others...It's hard not to, even after a year. Because my ex was so good to me while we were together..I swear if this guy treated me nice I would love to see where this would go but he is cold with me. Just tired of the loneliness,
xXxshootingstarxXx Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I don't know what to do to completely get him out of my system. He has moved on and is in love with someone else, I've been soooo lonely..only have a few real friends and honestly I hardly have time to see or hang out with anybody. I try not to show it and sometimes I find myself being happy but deep down I'm still hurting. There are nights where I'll cry thinking about everything. I believe Im ready to move on, ready to be with someone else but there isn't anybody and Im just tired of being LONELY for a year!!! I want to have somebody even if its more friends just to go out, have fun or be there for me when my world is upside down...UGH. I totally feel what you're feeling my friend; my ex broke up with me last August too *sigh* and we stopped all communication Jan'09 - a week later he moved on and now lives with his current gf!! *sigh again*... while i'm still single, still pondering how he's doing I do have lots of urges to email him. I haven't, although, the temptation never goes away! I no longer have his mobile number because I changed mine and deleted his, therefore he doesn't have mine either - I did it to prove something to myself and it backfired as I still love him with all my heart and soul! Gosh if only we all had a ~miracle~ that solved all our problems. . . I totally regret cutting my ex out of my life completely. 6 months on and I still wish he was mine! Damn she's a lucky women he's with now
Exit Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I feel for you. I'm only a little over 2 months into mine. I went out with a girl last night and stayed out til 4am but it just didn't do me any good. Couldn't help but feeling like I'm trying to replace something. I hope I'm not thinking about this after an entire year but I probably will be.
playlislay Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Wow, I wonder if any of our exes even considered that we would love them after such a long period of time from the break up? Ive just started seeing someone new, he is a lovely man but is no comparison to my ex. He was undoubtedly something special. I honestly thought I knew what love was before I met my ex, but now I know, so Im not going for second best or a weaker version of true love. Which is a good thing I suppose Dont worry my lovely, there are plenty of men out there and finding them can be veeeery tricky. I guess you have to visit more places to see what is around. It helps if you have the guts to use your flirting skills on a stranger -why let them pass you bye eh?
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 i actually dont wanna move on even though my ex says she is not in love with me anymore and she has been spending time with another guy..such a fool in love i guess. I broke NC and called today and said too much i hate myself for doin it she has so much power over me. back on NC again.....
scienceguy Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 It's been almost a year since the two of you broke up, and quite honestly, I would suggest talking to a therapist or counselor about your inability to move on with your life. There's no harm in doing it--I did. I think you need to take a step back and realize that you had a life before him, and you can, if you choose to, have a life after him as well. He's only one guy, and there are a lot of other people out there for you as well. You cannot allow yourself to be controlled by your emotions like this. I'm sure you have a lot of other things in your life, and you need to move on. I'm just telling you this because I was in a very similar situation as well, and now, I'm kicking myself that I let something like a bad break-up affect my life for two years. Seriously, have some perspective about this stuff. Personally, I would suggest that you not date anybody until the rest of your life is in order--a close-knit set of awesome friends, good job, doing well in your studies, and generally feeling great about your life without feeling any need to have a guy there in the first place. Great relationships should be icing on the cake of an already great life.
Author Ilovehim Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 It's been almost a year since the two of you broke up, and quite honestly, I would suggest talking to a therapist or counselor about your inability to move on with your life. There's no harm in doing it--I did. I think you need to take a step back and realize that you had a life before him, and you can, if you choose to, have a life after him as well. He's only one guy, and there are a lot of other people out there for you as well. You cannot allow yourself to be controlled by your emotions like this. I'm sure you have a lot of other things in your life, and you need to move on. I'm just telling you this because I was in a very similar situation as well, and now, I'm kicking myself that I let something like a bad break-up affect my life for two years. Seriously, have some perspective about this stuff. Personally, I would suggest that you not date anybody until the rest of your life is in order--a close-knit set of awesome friends, good job, doing well in your studies, and generally feeling great about your life without feeling any need to have a guy there in the first place. Great relationships should be icing on the cake of an already great life. I appreciate your advice but I think I'm quite misunderstood from my post. I don't think I need to see a therapist over this because it's not that serious. I agree with what you said about having your life together and having great friends, a good job etc...well to be quite honest I don't have that many friends...I have two best friends that I consider like family...then all my other "friends" (altho they're cool and I see them or talk to them once in awhile and on facebook) it does nothing for me as I see them very rarely since we're all so busy. I still love my ex but i'm not obssesed about him...I do like someone else..he just doesn't give me that affection I want..he says he wants one thing one day and the next day he wants something else. And please don't assume that just because I'm lonely it means that I need a guy to complete me because that is not the case. I've been on my own alot and have had chances to be with other people but I'm not needy. I would never be with someone just because I feel lonely. When i wrote this post I just meant that I'm young and I want to have more REAL friends that I can go out and have fun with...*sigh* you have to be in my shoes to really understand I guess... Also I'm sorry to disagree but great relationships are not "just the icing on the cake".. well maybe for some people...but to me life is these things...God, good health, family, love and friends...so love IS a big part of life. It is definetely something I want...so altho I agree with being able to be on your own and all that encouraging words, (we're all different) but for me love is definetely something I want to have..it makes me happy.. and one of the reasons why it was hard for me to move on is because I had a really good guy and I know they are hard to find...
scienceguy Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I appreciate your advice but I think I'm quite misunderstood from my post. I don't think I need to see a therapist over this because it's not that serious. I agree with what you said about having your life together and having great friends, a good job etc...well to be quite honest I don't have that many friends...I have two best friends that I consider like family...then all my other "friends" (altho they're cool and I see them or talk to them once in awhile and on facebook) it does nothing for me as I see them very rarely since we're all so busy. I still love my ex but i'm not obssesed about him...I do like someone else..he just doesn't give me that affection I want..he says he wants one thing one day and the next day he wants something else. And please don't assume that just because I'm lonely it means that I need a guy to complete me because that is not the case. I've been on my own alot and have had chances to be with other people but I'm not needy. I would never be with someone just because I feel lonely. When i wrote this post I just meant that I'm young and I want to have more REAL friends that I can go out and have fun with...*sigh* you have to be in my shoes to really understand I guess... Also I'm sorry to disagree but great relationships are not "just the icing on the cake".. well maybe for some people...but to me life is these things...God, good health, family, love and friends...so love IS a big part of life. It is definetely something I want...so altho I agree with being able to be on your own and all that encouraging words, (we're all different) but for me love is definetely something I want to have..it makes me happy.. and one of the reasons why it was hard for me to move on is because I had a really good guy and I know they are hard to find... Hi, I'm sorry but I didn't mean to come across that way. I suggested seeing a counselor/therapist because well, what you're describing is a lot like what I went through two years ago. You said that "deep down I'm still hurting" and "there are nights where I'll cry and think about everything," which is worrisome to me. I'm telling you this because I did the exact same things, and looking back, I'm kicking myself that I did not act sooner. Life is short, and I feel really upset that I spent a lot of my time mourning these things rather than going out and living my life. I was 23 when I sat around and mourned that relationship for the year (and more), and I hate to think I lost a year of my life because I didn't take the necessary steps to move on. I just don't want other people to make the same mistakes. Ultimately, this stuff is your call, not mine. I don't mean to belittle the importance of a relationship when I say it's "icing on the cake." Rather, the point I was trying to make is that, I think relationships should only come after everything else in one's life is in order. What's the point of having a relationship if the rest of your life is not in great? If a potential partner wants to know what's going on, what would he see? In the end, I feel the outside problems will creep into that relationship and may even bring it down. Plus, if it ends, it's better to have a big support network and a life outside a partner so it eases the pain and allows you to move on quickly. Like you, I want to find somebody I can really fall in love with as well, and I know I would feel something is missing if I never find her. I just feel that I shouldn't look until everything else is going well for me. I feel it's unhealthy, and somewhat risky, to do otherwise. I guess it's a matter of how we value things or prioritize them. Dunno.
Author Ilovehim Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Hi, I'm sorry but I didn't mean to come across that way. I suggested seeing a counselor/therapist because well, what you're describing is a lot like what I went through two years ago. You said that "deep down I'm still hurting" and "there are nights where I'll cry and think about everything," which is worrisome to me. I'm telling you this because I did the exact same things, and looking back, I'm kicking myself that I did not act sooner. Life is short, and I feel really upset that I spent a lot of my time mourning these things rather than going out and living my life. I was 23 when I sat around and mourned that relationship for the year (and more), and I hate to think I lost a year of my life because I didn't take the necessary steps to move on. I just don't want other people to make the same mistakes. Ultimately, this stuff is your call, not mine. I don't mean to belittle the importance of a relationship when I say it's "icing on the cake." Rather, the point I was trying to make is that, I think relationships should only come after everything else in one's life is in order. What's the point of having a relationship if the rest of your life is not in great? If a potential partner wants to know what's going on, what would he see? In the end, I feel the outside problems will creep into that relationship and may even bring it down. Plus, if it ends, it's better to have a big support network and a life outside a partner so it eases the pain and allows you to move on quickly. Like you, I want to find somebody I can really fall in love with as well, and I know I would feel something is missing if I never find her. I just feel that I shouldn't look until everything else is going well for me. I feel it's unhealthy, and somewhat risky, to do otherwise. I guess it's a matter of how we value things or prioritize them. Dunno. I completely agree. That's what I was trying to say as well. Also what I meant by "I don't need to see a therapist for this." I mean I don't because...well it's hard to explain. I'm not "mourning" about him, it's not like that...When I say that sometimes it still hurts, that's what I mean sometimes. I made some mistakes that I wish I could take back but life goes on. Also I'm not sure if I'm still in love with my ex..I HAVE gotten over him pretty much but if I had the chance to go back and do things different, I would. I'm probably not making any sense sorry...I guess what I'm trying to say is that I USED to really love my ex but after all the hurt, my heart has turned kind of stone...And I view "love" and "people" ALOT different from what I once did... Sorry for the length, jus trying to explain.
Author Ilovehim Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 Alsoooo... I hate him for the fact that he killed everything...our relationship, our friendship and my love for him...I hate him for the fact that he made us strangers...for stop caring about me & for making me fall out of love with him...We can never be, my feelings towards him are shutoff but deep down I still wish things were how they used to be...that none of this crap ever happened...i feel like he has made it soooo hard for me to love someone..not "like", love...effin a-hole!
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