asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Here's the situation: Girl (let's call her Jenny) works at the same small business I used to work at, but never while I was there so I've never actually met her. Since it's a small business though in a particular industry where everyone knows each other, I know everyone else who either used to work there or still does since my time. While going through the Facebook profiles of my old friends from this place, I came across Jenny's. And, basically, Jenny is really hot according to lots of photos of her up on her profile. I then emailed one of my old friends and talked to another, and both told me: "Yeah, she is hot, and a lot of fun, and she's single, so you should find a way to go out with her." I then devised a cockamamie scheme to friend-request her because I supposedly confused her with someone else I thought I knew, and... she accepted! It turns out that my name is familiar to her, obviously from my history at her employer. Once she did that, I wrote her a private message repeating my cockamamie story, and it's now turned into a modest little message exchange. She's written me 2-3 times and vice versa. Nothing big, just casual little notes and a lame joke from me now and then to which she responds with "LOL". So the question is: How do I now convert this FB situation into asking her out for a drink? I feel a bit creepy asking her out just through FB alone. Shouldn't I try and figure out a way to meet her in person first, before properly asking her out? My friends have brainstormed for ways to try and set up a group meeting somewhere involving them, but trust me when I say that the logistics are just not working out and it may not be possible. Any ideas?
Bejita463 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Did I read correctly that you are trying to form a relationship on a foundation of lies? Women don't tend to dig on that.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Oh PLEASE. That has got to be one of the lamest ideas put forth in the entire history of this forum. FORGIVE me dear Lord for being attracted enough to a woman to come up with a sneaky way to say hello to her. Because that, as we all know, NEVER happens. What I should have done is been "honest" and simply friend-requested her and written her an email: "Hi. You don't know me but I'm a really honest guy who thinks you're hot and wants to go out with you based on the Facebook photos you've posted that I'm now stalking. Pick you up at 7?" I'm LOLing. Don't worry, if we wind up dating some day, I'll tell her the friggin' truth. Sheesh.
Bejita463 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Wanting inside of someone's pants is not an acceptable reason to lie, in my books. If you disagree, then you do whatever works for you. Perhaps you should not be asking for advice if you aren't prepared for the fact you might not like all the advice you receive though. Best of luck to you.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Wanting inside of someone's pants is not an acceptable reason to lie, in my books. If you disagree, then you do whatever works for you. Perhaps you should not be asking for advice if you aren't prepared for the fact you might not like all the advice you receive though. Best of luck to you. 1. I'm interested in dating her. While that often includes sex in most normal adult healthy relationships, you seem to think that sex is my only motivator, which you've completely pulled out from your own pants. Sounds like you're projecting your own issues and perceptions of men more than anything. 2. I don't see any "advice" in anything you've posted. If you have nothing constructive to say in response to the question I actually asked, you'd do very well to just mind your own damn business. Perhaps you'd be happier responding to posts in the "I'm ethically conflicted about something so please judge me" forum. In short, thank you for your complete non-answer and for hijacking the point of my thread.
Bejita463 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 1. I'm interested in dating her. While that often includes sex in most normal adult healthy relationships, you seem to think that sex is my only motivator, which you've completely pulled out from your own pants. Sounds like you're projecting your own issues and perceptions of men more than anything. 2. I don't see any "advice" in anything you've posted. If you have nothing constructive to say in response to the question I actually asked, you'd do very well to just mind your own damn business. Perhaps you'd be happier responding to posts in the "I'm ethically conflicted about something so please judge me" forum. In short, thank you for your complete non-answer and for hijacking the point of my thread. I was asking a question based on my perception of the story as presented because I was acknowledging my interpretation may have been incorrect. What I would have said would have been different based on the answer to said question. If you cannot even clarify a point without such a reaction, I do not have interest in continuing attempting to assist you. Again, best of luck to you.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I was asking a question based on my perception of the story as presented because I was acknowledging my interpretation may have been incorrect. What I would have said would have been different based on the answer to said question. If you cannot even clarify a point without such a reaction, I do not have interest in continuing attempting to assist you. Again, best of luck to you. Thank you so much for your "assistance".
Bejita463 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Thank you so much for your "assistance". You're welcome.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 You're welcome. You seem to comprehend sarcasm about as well as you do dating situations.
Gus Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Fess up and tell her the REAL story and that you did what you did because you find her to be attractive and have heard that she's a great girl. She'll either find this endearing or she'll think you're a real jerk. You have a 50-50 chance here but at least you'll have cleared your conscience by telling her the truth. Contrary to popular belief, most people can handle the truth much better than they can handle being lied to.
Bejita463 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 You seem to comprehend sarcasm about as well as you do dating situations. There is great irony here.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 There is great irony here. Is there a reason you're continuing to stalk this thread?
Bejita463 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Is there a reason you're continuing to stalk this thread? I was not aware I was supposed to allow myself to be insulted and not address the comments. I apologize. Have your jabs then.
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