bubbleskeeps023 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 i am in love wid a guy almost 30 yrs older than me. he is 52 and im 22. dont asked me why pls.. i also dont know.. all i know is im hapy with him and i want to make him happy and feel loved. we started as friends for almost 2 yrs before the affair. from the start, i knew that they marriage isnt workng, they have separate houses to sleep in, but most of the day they were on the same house with kids but they did thngs separately.. i understand his situation and i knw our affair will end. but sometimes i cant help to feel bad whenever he prioritized his family than me. but i have accepted it and really tryng to understand the whole situation.. i feel loved when im with him or when he communctd with me. my real problem is how can i stop doubting him when hes at home?
2sure Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I'm not sure what you mean by doubting him when he is at home? Do you mean his feelings for you? He has a wife and children and you have acknowledged that he is not leaving them. He has a relationship with you on the side. Obviously his wife and children come before a side relationship. But who comes first? He does. I would doubt anyone who puts himself above everyone who loves him. As to doubting his feelings for you when he goes home? Why? He hasnt lied to you and told you he is leaving. Apparently he is happy with things the way they are. Most MM who have affairs ARE happy with the situation as it is. The whole point is that they want both. They want reality and fantasy. You seem sad, but for some reason resigned to keep this relationship the way it is. If you are more often unhappy ( like when he is gone) than happy...what is stopping you from changing it??
Author bubbleskeeps023 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 i really dont know there are times i want to leave him when im hurting but it endep up me chosing to be with him.
Lyssa Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 You're still very young, you have a lot to offer. You sure you want to be with a married 50 something?
Author bubbleskeeps023 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 i just want to love and take care of him. i want him to be happy. i must admit sometimes i wish he will choose me.. but i know it wont happen
Lyssa Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 i just want to love and take care of him. i want him to be happy. i must admit sometimes i wish he will choose me.. but i know it wont happen How about you? Don't you want to be happy? Or are you saying that whatever makes him happy, makes you happy?
Author bubbleskeeps023 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 i am happy and co ntented whenever im with him. if i will leave him, i think it would make me sadder than what i feel inside the affair.
LaGazelle Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 You are so young and should be eating all life has to offer right now. Right now it may feel like the "devil" you know is better than the "devil" you don't know, but wouldn't it be nice to free yourself to find an "angel" instead? You deserve much better than his "sloppy seconds". Let him find someone else to massage his ego.
scaredinlove Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Sorry you are not happy. Don't mind the age, I've loved men older than I am...No matter how you try you will never understand none of this, the older man and the affair...Maybe you have a father figure issue maybe you don't, it dosen't matter. What matters is that you are very young and should be happy. You have to ask yourself what you really want ...I can understand when you say you would like to take care of him, I was/am like that too. It is great to love unconditionally and really love a person..but you should love yourself first.If you are hurting than you have to re-think your choices. Don't go thru life hurting... Hope all the best for you!
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Daddy issues... Seriously. Miss you need help you dont love this man, you love the idea of loving him. but you havent lived life. You dont know what love is.
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 You love him based on feelings. Not real life, out in the open love. It's an affair, you're kept a secret and hidden.. At your age, you're wasting your love and energy on some older MM who is using you for a side dish. I do agree with CB, you don't know enough to know that this guy has you roped in and fooled..You believe all that he tells you. Please don't! Think of his wife and kids. This could be your parents..I mean, how would your mom feel if a girl half her age was having an affair with your father? Imagine your mom's pain and heartache. Try putting yourself in this guy wife's shoes for a minute. Does this make you stop and think?
bentnotbroken Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 WWIU, that's just what I was thinking. Her mother the victim of some young thing taking away what should be at home. You are too young to put yourself on this track in life. Your posts read like someone with major esteem issues. You can only be happy with him and taking care of him. Huge red flag about you. He is using your gullibility to feed his ego. He will suck the life and years out of you until you are too old or the next freshest thing comes along.
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I hope the OP is really taking what people are saying into consideration. This guy is playing her like a fiddle!
Full Of Hope Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I'm all for believing in love...and giving everything you have to a relationship that seems worth it to you...but I have to agree with my fellow posters on this one. At 22, you should be having the time of your life...not worried about something like this.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 You will never know what goes on when you are not around. You can trust him with all of your heart or not, and it will make no difference. He will do what he wants regardless of what you would like for him to do. You will have to learn to put what he does at the marital home out of your mind. Doubting or not doubting him is not what to focus on. What to focus on is what you have when you are with him until it is time for the affair to end.
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