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Posted

Kel sent the horoscopes lisa, here they are, although they just upset me

 

My Tarot>>> In matters of the heart, today could be laced with some sadness, dear m… Under the influence of the Hermit and the Lovers, you’re going round and round in circles, asking yourself questions that lead to more questions, with no answers in sight. You avoid the company of others and withdraw into your shell. It's no wonder therefore that the keywords for the day are loneliness and isolation. This being the case, today is an opportunity for reflection and introspection, which is not necessarily a bad thing - as long as you ask yourself the right questions, of course! Under the influence of Justice, in your professional life, you're after stability and transparency. In this context, the Hermit only adds to a certain gloominess and makes communication even more tedious. What else can you do but withdraw into yourself and evaluate your situation? There is nothing wrong with creating a bit of distance between you and your environment. This will certainly not do you any harm, and it might help you gain the security that you actually need.

 

Mine>> Dear Cancer, the universe is reactive today, but it doesn't react to pleas or demands it only reacts to sincerity. Be sincere with life around you and you will be in harmony with the stars, we are but a reflection of each other. The light that reflects off the stars is the same that reflects off of you.

 

Yours>> Dear Libra though life might seem like a star lit sky, be cautious for this could be a night for jackals. There are those that want what you have and they lie in hiding, waiting to spring out when your attention is on further possibilities. Either stay home tonight or have your eyes open in the back of your head.

 

Hers>> Dear Virgo, today is the day after, and you can now see your past relationships from both sides. In a way past relationships should be left in the past where they belong, but on another hand knowing the past makes it far easier for the stars to reveal your future.

:o:o:o:sick:

Posted

I've mailed you Tojaz!

 

That tarot is rather spooky isn't it?! Can you ask Kel to do one for me and what my future holds?

 

Tojaz, I know you are finding it tough at the moment, I wish there was something I could say or do to take the pain away for you. Just keep taking one hour at a time, keep posting we are here to listen and for you to lean on.

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Posted

Lisas Tarot>> In your love life, you don’t know where to turn to for help, in order to get your equanimity back, dear Lisa ! You’re suspicious and undecided, and you prefer to hide behind reserve and indifference as soon as you enter the minefield called “feelings.” It is best to beware of the alliance between the Lovers and the Pope, since this attitude is certainly not going to help you restore a climate of confidence. In your professional sphere, no doubt, you will be having to choose between keeping everything as it is, and an urge to make drastic changes. The Lovers put you in a situation of embarrassment, while the Chariot is pushing you into action. In this rather destabilizing situation it would be best to give yourself time for reflection and not just go along with your impulses. Slow down the horses of your chariot; you have reached a bifurcation and need to direct them in one way or the other.

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Posted

Mine>> Dear Cancer, sincerity is in your planet's movement today. The stars are in such a place where sincerity works better then being deceitful or manipulative. There are many days that the less sincere qualities seem to have the best results, but today it's the opposite, sincerity rules.

 

Yours>> Dearest Libra, take heed, this is a moment that you should be cautious. When you are focused on what you are after, you don't see other things that are going on around you. The best time to sneak up on you is when you are concentrating on something else.

Posted

Thanks Tojaz, tarot's a bit freakily accurate don't you think?

Posted
Greetings from rock bottom. I just don't think I can feel any worse. Every inch of me is in pain. Pain over losing her, pain over losing me security, pain over losing myself. I can only think of how respectful I've tried to be through all of this. Tried to do the right things, even if that meant letting go. All I got in return was pain. How can someone love you for so long and then do this. Even if she has to go, why cause so much damage along the way? It isn't enough she has to leave me, she has to crush the life out of me too!

 

Sorry for the demise of your marriage.

 

But now you know and understand the ugly truth.

 

The reality of marriage?

 

Marriage is a myth, a fallacy. Marriage benefits women and children, and is nothing more than a burden to men. Men have been socially and culturally conditioned to believe that its "normal" for them to marry, when the opposite is the truth.

 

How do men benefit from marriage?

 

Companionship? :lmao:

 

Sex? :lmao:

 

Having gone through what your now going through, any man who would knowingly get married again? Should get a psych evaluation.

 

Why get married and make one woman miserable when you can stay single and make so many happy! :)

 

BTW! If your a woman? IMHO? Your nuts too if you get married! ;)

Posted

Tojaz, got tomorrows horoscopes early, thought you might like yours tonight!

 

Cancer-You have been feeling unhappy lately about your involement with a particular person. You suspect that someone is saying one thing to your face and another behind your back. This may be true. Even so, you are not unloved or even unappreciated. And there is much more milage in a particular journey than you think. You have not reached the end of the road. You have just reached a crossroads. Now, you are turning in a direction that will turn out to suit you immensely.

 

Mine don't make sense and his, which I bothered to read today, don't always, are going on about his state of poor mental health! HA! Didn't need the universe to point that one out!

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Posted
Sorry for the demise of your marriage.

 

But now you know and understand the ugly truth.

 

The reality of marriage?

 

Marriage is a myth, a fallacy. Marriage benefits women and children, and is nothing more than a burden to men. Men have been socially and culturally conditioned to believe that its "normal" for them to marry, when the opposite is the truth.

 

How do men benefit from marriage?

 

Companionship? :lmao:

 

Sex? :lmao:

 

Having gone through what your now going through, any man who would knowingly get married again? Should get a psych evaluation.

 

Why get married and make one woman miserable when you can stay single and make so many happy! :)

 

BTW! If your a woman? IMHO? Your nuts too if you get married! ;)

 

Hey Gunny,

 

Didn't think anyone but Lisa came in this thread anymore LOL

What you said makes a lot of sense. There is a lot of logic and wisdom there. Strange thing is, I liked being married. On paper, I shouldn't have and to be honest, never saw myself as the marrying type, but I didn't mind coming home to the same woman, I never even had the urge to stray, even when the opportunity presented itself a few times. I was more then happy with what i had. Then again, I could probably use a psych evaluation right about now.:D

 

TOJAZ

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Posted
Tojaz, got tomorrows horoscopes early, thought you might like yours tonight!

 

Cancer-You have been feeling unhappy lately about your involement with a particular person. You suspect that someone is saying one thing to your face and another behind your back. This may be true. Even so, you are not unloved or even unappreciated. And there is much more milage in a particular journey than you think. You have not reached the end of the road. You have just reached a crossroads. Now, you are turning in a direction that will turn out to suit you immensely.

 

Mine don't make sense and his, which I bothered to read today, don't always, are going on about his state of poor mental health! HA! Didn't need the universe to point that one out!

 

That could be taken a lot of ways i guess, but it's pretty creepy anyway you look at it. I guess time will tell what lies at the end of this road. Thanks Lisa, I'll post yours tomorrow for you. Quit reading his, you don't need the stars to point out that he's nuts, I've told you that plenty of times.;)

TOJAZ

Posted
Hey Gunny,

 

Didn't think anyone but Lisa came in this thread anymore LOL

What you said makes a lot of sense. There is a lot of logic and wisdom there. Strange thing is, I liked being married. On paper, I shouldn't have and to be honest, never saw myself as the marrying type, but I didn't mind coming home to the same woman, I never even had the urge to stray, even when the opportunity presented itself a few times. I was more then happy with what i had. Then again, I could probably use a psych evaluation right about now.:D

 

TOJAZ

 

Well I didn't just mean in the physical / intimate manner, and I didn't mean in and with any and all women.

 

Generally speaking most men have to bring a lot more to the table initially at the beginning of the relationship. While women become over burdened with children the house and all that ensues?

 

This causes a lot of stress with both parties and seems to culminate the termination of the relationship around the ten to twelve year mark? Where both parties become disillusioned with whole concept of marriage ~ or at least their current marriage?

 

When in fact they were disillusioned to begin with?

  • Author
Posted
Well I didn't just mean in the physical / intimate manner, and I didn't mean in and with any and all women.

 

Generally speaking most men have to bring a lot more to the table initially at the beginning of the relationship. While women become over burdened with children the house and all that ensues?

 

This causes a lot of stress with both parties and seems to culminate the termination of the relationship around the ten to twelve year mark? Where both parties become disillusioned with whole concept of marriage ~ or at least their current marriage?

 

When in fact they were disillusioned to begin with?

 

Once again Gunny, it's all true. i did have to bring a lot more at the begining and how things typicaly break down makes a lot of sense. I'm sure thats how it played out for her in part.

 

I wasn't just talking physical either. I enjoyed putting the work in. Making birthdays and anniversaries better then the last. I took pleasure in the husband role and all that in entailed, both the rewards and sacrifices. It wasn't about winning her because i already had her, it was about making "US" stronger and more meaningful. I don't know that I will feel that way again, seeing the otherside and knowing what I now know. I'm hurting like hell, but I don't regret having done it and doubt I ever will.

TOJAZ

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Posted

Here they are LISA,

 

Mine>> Dear sincere Cancer, today fits your profile, it's a day based on sincerity. Take advantage of this day because there are so many days that seem to want to rub out sincerity. Those that are insincere love to portray themselves as winners, but for you, Cancer, sincerity is the only way to go.

 

Yours>> Dear Libra, the planets reveal that the Barbarians may be at your gate. You've been away fighting your crusade and have left the fort unguarded. Return your focus to those that are sneaking up on you and avoid this potential disaster by taking care of them quickly.

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Posted

Alomost forgot. I like yours today!

 

Mine>>My dear Cancer, romance and family are in your stars right now. Sometimes we feel like family gets in the way of personal relationships, but not this month. Sharing a good family relationship can be very attractive to the right lover.

 

Yours>>Dear Libra, you may be getting off to a rough start, but don't worry, you'll catch up, just give it a little time. Love is in your stars so relax and give it a chance to catch up with you. Sometimes we move so fast we pass right by the opportunities we seek.

Posted
Alomost forgot. I like yours today!

 

Mine>>My dear Cancer, romance and family are in your stars right now. Sometimes we feel like family gets in the way of personal relationships, but not this month. Sharing a good family relationship can be very attractive to the right lover.

 

Yours>>Dear Libra, you may be getting off to a rough start, but don't worry, you'll catch up, just give it a little time. Love is in your stars so relax and give it a chance to catch up with you. Sometimes we move so fast we pass right by the opportunities we seek.

 

Nope afraid not! LOL

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Posted
Nope afraid not! LOL

It's just advice, it dosen't mean a man is going to jump through your window LOL

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Posted

Mine>> There's no harm in indulging in a few harmless illusions -- unless all that fantasizing is keeping you from looking at events that are happening right in front of your eyes. It might be the time to yank yourself out of fantasyland and plant your feet firmly in reality. The longer you put off dealing with the situation, the more frustrating it will become. So for now, put those daydreams aside and deal with reality. Make it a priority.

 

Yours>> Before your friends and neighbors file a missing persons report, reassure them that you're still here -- you just need some time to yourself to tackle a few weighty matters before they get even bigger. They should understand and be more than willing to let you have your privacy. There may be one or two needy people in your life who keep pestering you for some attention, but tell them firmly that now is not a good time for their shenanigans.

Posted

tojaz...

 

couldn't sleep...been catcing up on some reading...

i came across this thread...and posts..

you were updating your OT...?

 

there was an entire paragraph ( in OT) about you wondering if your spouse (W) was really enjoying your company OR just feeling obligated or...

 

anyway...IT REALLY HIT something in me..

i have had pangs of guilt for being predominantly the dominant one in my marriage....

making ALL the heavy decisions..i.e. jobs, homes, vacations, finacial issues, raising our son, etc.

but even before we were married, IT was very clear, my H was NOT confrontational, to be more direct, had NO life experience in being an adult...let's put it this way, he had lived at home with mom and day until we got married...

 

so, i basically picked up where mommy and daddy left off...and for 14 years, that is just the way IT stayed...my H never grew up that way...

he always brought home a paycheck, very good provider, sweet kind man...but just never took the reigns/control and made ANY of our marital decisions...NEVER!

he even had the nerve, after he left me, to call me one day, and yell at me for NOT TEACHING HIM any of THOSE life's necessities..LOL..ya, like i was his mother...i told him, UM, call your mom dummy! he said he has issues with her NOW too...and planned on giving her a piece of his mind too..well, i can promise you...THAT NEVER HAPPENED...did i mention H is a bit of a mommies boy too...(now that part is fine, its what made him sensitve to my needs and just kind in general..but...)

geez...so those pangs of guilt disappated after a while and realizing, i was married to a man, who could speak, walk, negotiate, work at the same job for 17 years... live like as an adult, BUT could not act like one in the respect of making his own darn decisions...OR ANY decisions for that matter.

 

THIS is the MAIN reason H left me...ya, because he wants to be his own man, learn how to live on his own..he is basically an 18 year old in a 40 year old body.

this where the MLC issues come into play as well.

 

my point mike, is this...IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT your wife did not speak up for herself..

be it what she wanted for dinner, to going on vacations...to what to watch on TV...

 

we are married to adults that can speak, communicate and make decisions...so by them (W and H) saying they had difficulites expressing themselves or asking for what they wanted in fear of being yelled at, or a panic attack...im sorry, i will NOT let these people blame us for their inadequacies..

i was NOT abusive verbally nor physically, so i am NOT sure what the hell my H's problem was?

 

i have a story that would make you just go

"HUH?" how can a man let that happen?

if you wanna hear that story, let me know?

it all ties in with THEM just not standing up for themselves or us their spouses.:o

 

thanks for letting me get that out...and thank you for the OT, as IT helped me see in YOUR words, what was going on in MY OWN M...;)

Posted

Dela, it's all BS excuses, they have to find a way to justify their actions. You know the split came on suddenly without warning, you know you had a good realtionship, that's why it was a shock to you.

 

Because our ex's did this so abrutly when everything was how it had always been, you question it, you spend hours going over why? Did I miss something, you research the signs you could have missed, constant questions of why, how did this happen, maybe they weren't happy all the way through and just hid it. Then you strat thinking, perhaps it was me because I was abusive (a very dark place), but then you do some reading on abuse and NO, you were not abusive.

 

It's an incrediably cruel way to leave you (in my case CP, in yours Dela, MLC, Tojaz not sure about your w yet, but something is going on), there is no ryhme or reason why they left, there is no way they could have been unhappy all the time you were together, we were not keeping them locked up in the cellar, they could have gone anytime they wanted.

 

This has very little if not nothing to do with you, what you did or didn't do, this is their issue, your marriage was not breaking down else you would have been aware of it, no one can act that well. This was sudden for us, cruel and blaming. You are not to blame, your H did this to you, you need to remember that and get angry, this man HURT you, gave you no opprotunity to work things out with him, after all that time together, that's cruel. Get angry and get self preserving.

Posted

lis...

 

you are so right!

i do need to get ANGRY...very angry!

 

i have tried to stop blaming myself for the most part..BUT there always seems to be just ONE more issue that comes up and there i am again crying...'what did i do wrong'? why did this happen?..etc.....etc...

 

it is NOT my fault my H never learned to pay bills or budget or plan a vacation, or organize our moves from house to house, etc...

 

how is it, he gets to leave, be a jerk and yell and call me names..when i DID ALL THE DARN WORK in this marriage...not to mention, he gave up 8 years ago and sat behind his computer to play ONE video game in particular..

 

seeing that, why the Heck wasn't I The ONE TO LEAVE..LOL

 

really, who puts up that kind of addiction, neglect....

 

argh! i am getting mad now...

 

c..that is why i need this board..i need to people like you lis, to show me how to get angry and stand up for myself.

 

thank you again!;)

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