tlind Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Anyways, I met this woman through a set up at a wedding gift opening, ended up getting her number, called her and we set up a dinner date. We had dinner (I thought it went well, but have no clue what she thought), we were there for 2 1/2 hours, constant conversation, constant eye contact, made her laugh a few times, then she says she has to get ready for a night out with her friends, and asks me if i wanted to join them. I said i'd ask the boys what there plans were. I couldn't get anyone to go, so i texted her that i couldn't make it, and that i really enjoyed dinner, and hoped to do something with her again. She calls back the next day saying not to worry about it, i just thought maybe you wanted to come out. So we talk and text a bit over the next few days, until I ask her out (it was over voicemail - i know i shouldn't have, but could not study for a test until i got it out of me). She texts back saying friday was no good but doesn't mention rescheduling, so i was a little bummed out and didn't respond back, and she calls me the next day asking me how my test went, and to call her when she gets off of work. I do that we talk, she says friday is no good (she is an extremly busy person) but she is free wednsday or thursday. Me being a little excited said ok wendsday, ill call you when you get off of work, she agrees. Next day comes around, and she cancels the date saying she had a bad day at work, and that she'd call back. So nothing from her for 2 1/2 days, then she texts me: how was your weekend? We text a bit, she tells me she went camping with friends and that it was good for her to clear her mind, and she calls later at night saying she didn't want to text and wanted to talk. We didn't talk long, but she said i'll talk to you tomorrow, in kind of a cutsey girly way. Tomorrow comes (today) and she texts hectic day, was sick so i'm in bed. how was your day? Me trying to be polite says: I tell about day, then say as much as i want to talk to you today, i'd much rather you rest and feel better, and that i'll call tomorrow. I know she recently broke up with her b/f, cause he was afraid of commitment, and am wondering, am i on the right track with this one, is she just being polite but no interest on her part, should i be more accertive (I don't call her more then once until she responds as i don't want to seem needy/desperate - even though i've fallen hard for her.) I haven't dated before, as i'm trying to get a carrer established, and get things in my life on track. I wasn't looking forward to the set up, but am real glad i met this girl. Female response most welcome, but will take advice from anyone.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I'm getting kind of a buddy-buddy vibe from this. Is there ever anything flirty in your conversations? Did you flirt at all on your first date?
Author tlind Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Looking back i don't think i did, but she did mention how some dude tried touching her thigh at a bar (not sure if that counts) But i did say i liked her (is that not enough). I am not looking for a fling with her, i didn't think it necessary to try and force the flirting right away. I want to get to know her more then go from there. I mean she is pretty much my first and last thought of the day. Also (I'll probably get flamed for not growing a pair) I am shy, and she knows that, so being shy plays a big role in the flirting department.
Author tlind Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 also there was a text saying she'd call after her 10 minute shower. An hour later i sent a text saying i knew women and 10 minute showers was a myth. (Is that a type of flirting)
DarkestDreams Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Hmm...well she does seem somewhat interested since she initiates contact and responds fairly well to you. I think the next date will make it or break it.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Looking back i don't think i did, but she did mention how some dude tried touching her thigh at a bar (not sure if that counts) But i did say i liked her (is that not enough). I am not looking for a fling with her, i didn't think it necessary to try and force the flirting right away. I want to get to know her more then go from there. I mean she is pretty much my first and last thought of the day. Also (I'll probably get flamed for not growing a pair) I am shy, and she knows that, so being shy plays a big role in the flirting department. also there was a text saying she'd call after her 10 minute shower. An hour later i sent a text saying i knew women and 10 minute showers was a myth. (Is that a type of flirting) LOL...that made me giggle. But yeah - flirting doesn't have to mean TOUCHING. It can be playful banter, teasing, compliments. I like a guy that can turn me on intellectually before he tries to get in my pants. LOL And generally a guy that can make me laugh has a good shot.
tinklebell Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 also there was a text saying she'd call after her 10 minute shower. An hour later i sent a text saying i knew women and 10 minute showers was a myth. (Is that a type of flirting) Did she respond after your text? What did she say? Perhaps a good way to find out her interest level is to ask her out again.
Author tlind Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 her response was: not exact word for word cause i don't have that text anymore lol, sorry a friend called and i got busy on the phone with her, i'll call back when i get off. She called back 5-10 minutes later.
tinklebell Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 her response was: not exact word for word cause i don't have that text anymore lol, sorry a friend called and i got busy on the phone with her, i'll call back when i get off. She called back 5-10 minutes later. That's not bad. At least she did call back. She seems interested enough to keep in touch with you. Whether she wants anything more is for you to find out.
likeORIGAMI Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 You may or may not be the transitional relationship. This may or may not be a good thing.
Author tlind Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Well, my official test score from the government showed up today, so i think i'll use that as an excuse to try and set up another date, and see what happens from that. "Hey great news, I just got my official letter saying i passed 3rd period electrical training, I was just wondering if you'd want to go out and celebrate with me when you have a free evening later this week. We can go out to Red Lobster for dinner, and if you want to, figure something else to do after that." I say Red Lobster cause she loves sea food, and enjoys pasta - so two birds. Does this sound like an alright invitation?
lora22 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Well, my official test score from the government showed up today, so i think i'll use that as an excuse to try and set up another date, and see what happens from that. "Hey great news, I just got my official letter saying i passed 3rd period electrical training, I was just wondering if you'd want to go out and celebrate with me when you have a free evening later this week. We can go out to Red Lobster for dinner, and if you want to, figure something else to do after that." I say Red Lobster cause she loves sea food, and enjoys pasta - so two birds. Does this sound like an alright invitation? That would be a really long text, so I'm hoping you're planning on calling her to ask her out? Which is what you should do anyways. Good invite, cuz it has a specific activity/location. Maybe suggest a specific day too, but let her know you can be flexible if that doesn't work for her. But as someone said above, this sounds to me kind of like a transitional relationship, which may not work out so well for you.
Author tlind Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 yes it would be a call. Wether it works out or not, i don't know. (I hope it will) But if it doesn't then i'll finally know that this isn't going anywhere.
dreamergrl Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I'd wait to be talking with her as well, not leaving it as a voice mail.
samspade Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 The medium IS the message; don't read too much into it. It is pretty simple: If she is not making concrete plans with you, she is not highly interested in getting together with you. She has initiated a conversation (via text) with you, but you need to then TAKE the initiative and ask her out on another date. Refrain from the mindless texting and chatting on the phone. Tell her you want to take her out, have a time and place in mind, and see if she says yes. And, in the meantime, find some other prospects so you are not so fixated on the outcome of this one.
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