Tundra23 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I have been hanging out with this girl 1or 2 times a week for the last month and I was fairly certain that she liked me. Last weekend we made plans to go out to the bar. I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie before we went to the bar and she said she had a boyfriend. I asked her about it and she said they had been seeing eachother off and on for a while and decided not to see other people. But she had never mentioned her having a boyfriend before then and we are still going out this next weekend. I dont think that she has a boyfriend because the nights we go out are the only ones that she does'nt work and alot of the time its just me and her. I find it to be kind of funny that her "boyfriend" never comes out with her. What is yalls opinion on this matter because I am stuck. I want to call her out on it but I dont want to mess myself up.
boogieboy Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Shes either playing the "make you work harder with jealousy" game, (plausible deniability) or she is telling you in a cowardly fashion that she wont ever be romantically involved with you. I say in either case, leave her alone. If she has a bf and shes hanging with you, would you want her hanging with guys that liked her if you were her bf?
Author Tundra23 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I would think that she is not interested in me if she didnt dress up more than normal when we hang out. If she knows Ill be in the same place she is that day usually she dresses nicer than normal.
mortensorchid Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 She's not that interested, despite what you may or may not want to be reading into the statement "I have a boyfriend". It might be true or it might not be true, but she's saying she's not that interested. Years ago, I had a guy friend who was a bit naive to say the least. He was telling me that he went out with some girl a few weeks back and he really liked her. But everytime he saw her out places, she would run away from him. Everytime he called her, she would scream and hang up on him. All friends told him that she liked him, he asked me what I thought that meant. I said "Um, P, you don't really need ME to tell you what that means, do you?" Eventually, he got the message, I guess.
norajane Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I find it to be kind of funny that her "boyfriend" never comes out with her.I used to have a bf like that. We worked different schedules, and he was more of a homebody than I was. We also had our own sets of friends. So I'd have guys asking why he was never with me when they saw me. But he was still my bf. We lived together. And we entertained friends together at home. But we didn't go out together often. Either this girl has a bf, or she's not interested in you. There is no interpretation that is positive about a girl telling you she has a bf.
luvbugged Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 There is no interpretation that is positive about a girl telling you she has a bf. Agree. It doesn't actually matter whether she's telling the truth or not, it's still a bad sign. She's either playing games, not available, or not interested. I'd leave this one be.
Soul Bear Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I would never sabotage someone elses Relationship. If I were you, I would graciously back away. What is she like around you when you are together?
Devil Inside Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Well here are the two things that may be happening: 1) She has a BF. 2) She's lying about having a BF. Either way do you want to be involved with her? I mean option one, she is hanging out with you even though she has a BF. Or, option two, she is being dishonest (does it really matter why?). There's got to be another drama free girl out there for you. Don't sell yourself short.
Chicago_Guy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 You should tell her how you feel for her and how happy you are whenever you are together. Then, you try to ask her kindly if she really have a boyfriend. Maybe she is just testing you if you won't go back down easily, for her to prove that you'll give a fight for your feelings for her. And if she'd say that she have a boyfriend, then you two should be just friends. In that way, you give respect to her as a girl and you're like telling her that you are happy for them. Better stop than to ruin their relationship. She's a total manipulative bitch if she only told the guy she has a boyfriend to test him. A woman like that isn't worth his time.
Thaddeus Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 You should tell her how you feel for her and how happy you are whenever you are together. Then, you try to ask her kindly if she really have a boyfriend. Maybe she is just testing you if you won't go back down easily, for her to prove that you'll give a fight for your feelings for her.Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. There's one of three possibilities with this girl: She's telling the truth and has a boyfriend, so she's off-limitsShe's really doesn't have a boyfriend so she's lying to you, so she's off-limits (who wants a liar in their life?)She's trying to get you to chase her, which reeks of insecurity and manipulation, so she's off-limits. No matter how you cut it, it ain't happening. Baring your soul to her and sharing your feeeeeelings will do you no good whatsoever other than give her something to crush under her stilettos. And there's no upside to that.
Soul Bear Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 She's telling the truth and has a boyfriend, so she's off-limits She's really doesn't have a boyfriend so she's lying to you, so she's off-limits (who wants a liar in their life?) She's trying to get you to chase her, which reeks of insecurity and manipulation, so she's off-limits. No matter how you cut it, it ain't happening. Baring your soul to her and sharing your feeeeeelings will do you no good whatsoever other than give her something to crush under her stilettos. And there's no upside to that. That summed it up pretty well....
Vet Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Obviously, the only way you'll know for sure is to follow her around for a few days. Then when she says she has a boyfriend, tell her that you know she's lying because she never sees him, and you've got pictures to prove it.
Soul Bear Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Obviously, the only way you'll know for sure is to follow her around for a few days. Then when she says she has a boyfriend, tell her that you know she's lying because she never sees him, and you've got pictures to prove it. :lmao:.....that I think would constitue as stalking!
Vet Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 :lmao:.....that I think would constitue as stalking! Man's gotta do whatta man's gotta do.
MadDriver Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I want to call her out on it but I dont want to mess myself up. It depends on your style really, but you mentioned that you wanted to call her bluff -- and that's exactly what I would do, hence this reply. Tundra23, we're poker players. She's representing a BF card, which I think is not real. Next time she brings him up as an excuse not to go with you to an event, I'd say "no problem, just invite him to come to the movies with us -- it's all on me".
collegekid491 Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Not interested, if she is then she's manipulative and you don't want in on it anyways. As my VP once said, "A wise man once said when it comes to woman you meet at the bar...NEXT!"
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Obviously, the only way you'll know for sure is to follow her around for a few days. The statute of limitations on "a few days" ran out ages ago!
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