Toughroad101 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 So me and my ex met when we were 13, we dated for just over a year in high school broke up and got back together when we were about 16. We have now been together for just over 3 years and were both 20. I was never always the best boyfriend... didn't give her the attention she deserved and one time I got drunk at a party and made out with a girl. She forgave and we were together for about a year after that. About a month ago she started a new job and was meeting a few new people from her work, she broke up with me shortly after. I had a feeling she met somebody at her work but we kept talking and she would always claim that she wasn't talking to anybody else just hanging out with some new friends. I didn't really believe it for a second and sure enough I find out that she has been talking to this guy from her work and hanging out with him pretty often. I was devastated but she kept telling me they were just friends. One night she goes out to a club for 1 of these girls birthdays and he was also there. I wake up the next morning to a email that says nothing but "i miss you" and later on that day followed up by a text message saying that she loves me and she made a huge mistake and that she never wanted to hang out or see this guy again. She admits to me that day that she made out with this guy at the club. She wanted to start talking again and try to fix things up and so did I. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I figure that I owe her another chance since she had forgiven me. I told her that if we were to get back together that I didn't want her talking to him and eventually she agreed and deleted his phone number and also his msn. I wanted to believe that she had stopped talking to him but I had a gut feeling. Last night I went on her email and found that she made a new account on something called "Skype".... I figure out her password and log on it to see that the only guy on her list is the guy that she had been talking to.....I shouldn't have done this but its done and im kind of glad I did it... So now I feel like they have been talking this whole time and I dont think that the time at the club was the only time they fooled around. I talked to her today and gave her a piece of my mind and she was trying to give me some bull**** excuse that he happened to add her... not to mention that she made the account at 2 am and she would have had to give him her account name to add her... so I pretty much know its bull**** and don't really wanna hear the garbage story. I love her to death and I think about her every day but I feel like I have to leave... my hearts telling me yes but my mind is telling me no. I feel like i cant trust her at all and shes been telling me lies the whole time. Any comments or suggestions to what I should do would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
ON MY OWN Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 It could be possible that she doesnt trust you and figures oh well when it comes to that other guy or any other guy for that matter. If you caught her in a lie she couldnt explain, the facts speak for themselves. I also want to add I know someone that did that account thing and that was made for you not to see, hiding it in a different location, IMO from the facts you stated. I also want to add once I caught him ( my ex ) in one lie, there seemed to be more that would pop up along the way. Not all the time, but here and there and how can the trust be restored, I dont know on that one. There comes a time in these type of relationship situations where there is almost too much resentment to continue in a normal relationship flow pattern. I know this first hand if you refer to my thread in breaking up section that is titled "Trading one engagement for another". I know the feelings that are attached may carry on even if ppl arent saying anything about it. My ex-fiance didnt cheat but however met someone when I left for our break to see how we truly felt and was engaged to her a month or less later, and he just met her I knew for a fact, I have reliable solid connections that would have told me otherwise. The fact is ppl are disposable to some ppl. My honest feeling is that this refers back to her feeling when you cheated on her and if you take the relationship seriously. I would recommend a counselor if you want to save this. You two have a long past together and would definitely benefit you and her to get this cleared up if you can. You both have to be willing to communicate though. If I would have known better I would have made that our priority, but instead fooled myself into thinking we could handle the problems we had on our own. I lost the man I was going to marry in a few months, so please trust me on this one if you honest to God really love her, go to her, bleed your heart to her and start seeing a counselor. Counselors have been known to save plenty of marriages that were headed for divorce and totally turn them around. Hope things work out in whatever way is best for you.
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