jayjean Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 This is a hard situation. I was seeing a man that is in an open marriage. His wife knows he is seeing me. They are expecting their first child soon but he discuss that much nor is that a problem. We have been seeing each other since March he lives 1000 miles away which is still ok. He has come to see me twice during which the first time he said he loved me. While we are apart we built a fantasy of getting married to one another which meant we would be exclusive lovers. (he would still sleep with his wife). It went so far that he actually bought me a wedding band. I mentioned that before giving myself to him I had to be married. So we confessed our love to each other and all was well. Except I have insecure feelings from time to time with wanting to have a real life with him. He has said if anything ever happened to his wife or their marriage,we would have the life I always dream of. But,time apart and hearing about his wife from time to time made me feel empty. So..I would end it. I did this twice. The last time was a week ago,except this time he said "no contact please" on a text message. I frealed out he would not take any of my calls,texts or emails. So after hurting and going crazy I calmed down. When he finally talk to me he said "he no longer loves me and it was over. I since then have not bothered him and sent him one last email saying thankyou for the time and my door is open if he ever neeeds me. He sent an email back saying he didn't regret our time and wishes me the best. I love him and wish we he would take me back. I don't know what to do. How could he love me last week and now he doesn't. Did he just use me? was any of this real? Please help.
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Okay first of all, this had bad news written all over it. First of all he has a wife AND an expecting child. I'm pretty sure alot of his concern is for them because they've been there first. Second, he lives a 1000 miles away according to you. Distance does NOT help a relationship. I believe you should move on as he has taken the active steps to. He doesn't Love you now most likely because out of anger because it all ended. He seems to me to have enjoyed the time and feelings but I don't believe he ever Loved you. It hurts but that's what I believe. You NEED to move on. Don't communicate with him in ANY way. Fill your day up with hobbies and distractions. Go out with your friends. Just keep your thoughts away from him. But don't worry if it seems like you can't, it happens to the best of us. The process is simple in that each passing day that you don't have any contact with him, you realize that you can live without him. Look just let him go. Your better than that and you don't have to validate yourself through another person's life. You do not need a significant other to live life. Stop searching for something that isn't there and move on. Hope this helps.
001bh Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 I'm sorry but that's pretty messed up seeing a man who's married and expecting a child. What were you thinking in the first place? First of all he should really get his priorities in line. He's dishonored his wife by seeing you meaning he broke a commitment to a women that he impregnated and is supposed to love. By allowing yourself to get mixed up in this was a really bad idea from the start. Break it off and go find something and or someone else. How do you think his wife feels? How would you feel if someone did this to you while you were pregnant with their child?
Recommended Posts