Yellowboy Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I was happy I had a movie date with one of my co-workers I've had my eyes on. We had a great time. I texted her the next day asking what she's up to this weekend. And she said she's going to be with her boyfriend. WTF!? I guess that was not a date then...? I've had lunch with her many times before, and thought I'd take it a step further. Is she just being friendly?
zilverenvlinder Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Have you ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where George goes out with this woman, and he says something ridiculous, and then she says that her boyfriend has the same watch or something like that? And then he finds out she really doesn't have a boyfriend? Sorry love....if she had a boyfriend she wouldn't have gone to the movies alone with you. There's waaay better out there, promise. :hugs:
WTRanger Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Yep, she was just going to a movie with a friend. What happened during the "not date?" Did she do anything that might lead you to believe there might be another step? Did you pay for the movie?
lora22 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 If you hadn't mentioned she was your co-worker this might not have been my first thought, but since you did - sounds like she gets lunch with her FRIEND from work often, and then thought he wanted to see a movie with her as FRIENDS.
luvbugged Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I've gone to the movies with a male friend while I was in a relationship and thought nothing of it, so maybe she did too. Sounds like you weren't on the same page, sorry.
Author Yellowboy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I was going to pay but she insisted on dutch. So that part does feel like it's a friends/co-worker thing. I don't know...there was one time where she tied her hair up. Usually she keeps her long hair down. So I told her she looked better with her hair tied up. Lo behold, the next day, she decided to do it and has been doing it more often than before. Now I don't want to read too much into it, but why would she even bother doing that unless I have suddenly become her hair stylist? I don't want to create false hope and entirely believe that she is just lying about having a boyfriend. But, I know she's close with this other lady at work. Now she's quite a bitter woman and I worry she's feeding venom onto the girl. Anyhow, I'm going to ask her out again and see what happens.
lora22 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Anyhow, I'm going to ask her out again and see what happens. Dude! Either she really does have a bf and just sees you as a friend, or she lied about having a bf and isn't interested in you! The hair? It's summer, maybe it's hot so she wears it up - I know I wear my long hair up way more in the summer - it's just too hot not to.
Jilly Bean Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 It sounds like she has always considered you just a friend. Don't read into the hair thing at all. Sometimes us (long-haired) chicks get into one style for a while. It really could be her summer look, and even if your compliment inspired her to wear it that way more often, doens't mean she's doing it for you. Sorry - friend all the way.
EddieN Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Sorry man, but I don't think she could be any more clear with you. She likes you, but just as a friend. Sorry.
Author Yellowboy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Yeah, why do I have to lie to myself....I guess I just wanted others to tell me :/ Thanks everyone. I'll forget about her.
EddieN Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Yeah, why do I have to lie to myself....I guess I just wanted others to tell me :/ Thanks everyone. I'll forget about her. It's cool. You probably like her a lot and it's a bit of a disappointment, but after a few times it's easy to get over any one girl. Trust me.
Author Yellowboy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Yeah, I mean I have other girls I am interested in, but I felt like I clicked her with the most and with the recent movie thing, I was beginning to have some hope. But it was shot down pretty quickly. I was going to ask her if she had a boyfriend on the second date, but I got my answer much quicker than I thought. She's a very nice person so I'm sure I can maintain the friendship. Well, it's time to check out the sea again.
BobSacamento Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Have you ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where George goes out with this woman, and he says something ridiculous, and then she says that her boyfriend has the same watch or something like that? And then he finds out she really doesn't have a boyfriend? Sorry love....if she had a boyfriend she wouldn't have gone to the movies alone with you. There's waaay better out there, promise. :hugs: "It's got a "Ma" and then a "newer", Ma + newer. Manure." "...And it was around this time that she mentioned the BF?" Face it dude you blew it.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Have you ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where George goes out with this woman, and he says something ridiculous, and then she says that her boyfriend has the same watch or something like that? And then he finds out she really doesn't have a boyfriend? Sorry love....if she had a boyfriend she wouldn't have gone to the movies alone with you. There's waaay better out there, promise. :hugs: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ROFLMFAO...that is EXACTLY what I thought of when I read the OP. The chick doesn't have a boyfriend - she just lost interest.
Author Yellowboy Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Hey no need to rub it in the face. You guys must enjoy mocking me.
Bejita463 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Hey no need to rub it in the face. You guys must enjoy mocking me. They aren't mocking you bro. It is just light hearted banter. Don't take it personally, alright?
WTRanger Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 You didn't do anything wrong, so don't beat yourself up for it. Some people aren't always up in your face about their relationship status, they may not feel it necessary to tell you about it within the first few minutes of meeting you. She might have picked up on certain signals that you were looking to take everything one step further, which then she felt compelled to tell you she had a boyfriend. Just because she didn't tell you up front, doesn't mean she doesn't have one. In fact where I used to work I would go to lunch, movies, bars etc with married women, one on one. It was nothing more than good friends going out and having a good time. You were/are obviously attracted to her on some level, or you wouldn't want to pursue her. It sounds as if you really enjoy her company and she probably enjoys your company or else she wouldn't agree to do things with you. You also thought that she might be single. So there you have it, you have a spark, oxygen, and a fuel source. You've got a fire in your heart buddy! Unfortunately, this one will burn out of control unless you stop it. Regardless of what other people say, take her word. Just go out on a limb and trust her. It doesn't mean you have to stop everything with her, just know that she's looking at you as a good friend. However, if she starts bitching to you about her boyfriend or guy problems, draw the line there. You are her guy friend, not her girl friend.
samspade Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Sorry love....if she had a boyfriend she wouldn't have gone to the movies alone with you. Hey Yellowboy - the above sentence is not necessarily true. She may have a bf and was just being friendly with you, or she may have been looking for a distraction from a boring relationship, i.e. a new branch to swing on before she leaves her bf. In any case, it sounds like you made the mistake of not making your romantic intentions known from the get-go. If you've taken her to lunch many times already, and haven't made a move, you were put in the friend zone. By "making your romantic intentions known" I don't mean you come out and tell her. I mean you should have been flirting more, going in for a kiss after the first date, and the like. You should also make it clear that you are asking her out on a date, not making plans as friends. As the man, you need to take the lead. If she likes you, she will follow. Move on to the next chick and apply your lessons learned....you'll do much better.
Author Yellowboy Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 I appreciate the advices. But since this was my co-worker, I was a bit careful, perhaps, too careful. If she was someone outside of work, I would have definitely acted upon it pretty quickly. There's really no way to tell how people are in the office until you meet them outside of office hours. She has previously passed on my offer and I was happy when she finally said yes to seeing a movie. So it took too much time, and she was perhaps reluctant from the beginning since she had a boyfriend. Well, whatever. I vowed not to date someone from work again, and here I am, still doing the same thing. Perhaps this was a message.
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