ssj4trunks09 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Me and my ex broke up a month ago. We were together for 6 months, we broke up over a little fight, it was stupid. But during the relationship I treated her like **** and now that's stuck on her. She doesn't want to get back with me fearing that it'll go back to the same thing. Also, she also said she loves me, and misses me. But when it's time to see each other she feels obligated to see me. like: "Ugh, I have to see him again, we're prolly going to argue today if I see him" and eventually I don't end up seeing her. It's been like this for a while where she feels like that. So we haven't seen each other. She also seems to call me only when she's bored and doesn't have anyone to talk to. I've tried ignoring her, she said it really hurt when I did ignore for a whole day. Ever since that day she's been acting a lil nicer, not so cold hearted. She still tries to get me jealous when she gets mad at me. She's even gotten to the point where she says get out of my life. She says there's still a chance we can get back together, but she's not ready right now cuz of all the bad things I've done to her. Idk whether I should wait for her or if I should just move on cuz she says there's a still chance we can get back together. But then again, it seems like she's just putting up excuses for anything now. She even said she sometimes feels obligated to talk to me on the phone, she feels like she NEEDS to call me. Also, when she acts cold hearted with me she said I deserve it for the way you treated me while we were together. When she gets mad, she does things to make things WORSE not better. She doesn't seem to be putting any effort to get back together. What should I do? she says she loves me but isnt ready to get back with me. She doesnt want to see me, but she still wants to keep talking to me on the phone and sometimes when we click she tells me "I love you". She says I need to change. I did change, but right now it seems like SHE needs to change with the way she's been acting. She said she needs time, she will change with time and that all I got to do is give her time and eventually her feelings will come back.. She says she doesn't like any other guy. Only me and if she's going to get to get into a relationship again it's going to be with me. She said right now she just wants to be single. She wants her space, but when I give it to her she just calls me. She wants her space yet she wants to keep talking to me..she also seems to be acting like it's only about her now. About HER needs, if its not her way then she will just stop talking to me for the night. She doesn't seem to be caring much about the whole situation anymore. She's been acting cold-hearted ever since..
boogieboy Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Well maybe you dont have to go NC, but you can do limited contact. Let her call you, dont call her. Well if you want to try to salvage this, you need to be more unavailable to her. Maybe answer her calls only once in a while, maybe once every 2 or 3 days. Seem busy, and keep it fun. You pull away, she will push after you. If she gets argumentative about you not answering your phone, kill her with kindness. You cant just tell her you changed you have to show it. She is acting cold now because she reacted to you. So once you change your act, she will start to lighten up. You have to be fun. Make her attracted to you again. Keep your conversations short, and always say "i have to go..." if she protests, you say "well talk next time we see each other." Then she will have to see you to get more. At that point, you show her in person that you are fun and will treat her better, and take it slow. If you do limited contact and she is still unsure, after you kill her with fun attitude, then pull away completely and go full NC for a week or two, and let her miss you entirely. She has to miss you, if you two are in constant contact, nothing will change.
bella16 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 What kind of things are you talking when you say you treated her bad??? Honestly if I were you, I wouldn't sit around and wait for her. Don't stop doing what you do everyday, with hopes of another chance. Go on with your life, and don't contact her so she'll have some time to think and miss you eventually. I'm kind of in the same situation, but he dumped me bc he thinks I was unhappy with the relationship...but in reality I wasn't at all and he took things wrong. This past week I have been a mess...crying, not eating, and just so depressed. I kept texting him over and over, just trying to find answers and I realized over the weekend "WHAT AM I DOING??" I am going to get on with my life and not cry anymore, not worry anymore...if its meant to be then it will be. I stopped the whole texting thing and I'll see what happens. I'm keeping myself busy, going out w/ friends on the weekends, and working out alot. I'm happier than I was this time last week. They back away when you keep in contact and bugging them over and over! My situation was so silly, so I kind of know he'll stop being stubborn and know that what I told him was true. But you said you treated her like crap...how bad was it?? A lot of that will reflect on this. See how she contacts you when you back off?? Its weird that they do that, but you need to find out if theres something there and if not, then tell her not to even waste your time. Good Luck!
Author ssj4trunks09 Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 What kind of things are you talking when you say you treated her bad??? Honestly if I were you, I wouldn't sit around and wait for her. Don't stop doing what you do everyday, with hopes of another chance. Go on with your life, and don't contact her so she'll have some time to think and miss you eventually. I'm kind of in the same situation, but he dumped me bc he thinks I was unhappy with the relationship...but in reality I wasn't at all and he took things wrong. This past week I have been a mess...crying, not eating, and just so depressed. I kept texting him over and over, just trying to find answers and I realized over the weekend "WHAT AM I DOING??" I am going to get on with my life and not cry anymore, not worry anymore...if its meant to be then it will be. I stopped the whole texting thing and I'll see what happens. I'm keeping myself busy, going out w/ friends on the weekends, and working out alot. I'm happier than I was this time last week. They back away when you keep in contact and bugging them over and over! My situation was so silly, so I kind of know he'll stop being stubborn and know that what I told him was true. But you said you treated her like crap...how bad was it?? A lot of that will reflect on this. See how she contacts you when you back off?? Its weird that they do that, but you need to find out if theres something there and if not, then tell her not to even waste your time. Good Luck! Well I said alot of hurtful things. I've told her that I broke up with my last ex because I got bored of the relationship. She thinks the same will happen with her. I've told her that I'm starting to see her as a friend. She has a slow metabolism and can get fat quickly. She thinks that if she were to ever get fat again that I would dump her. When we were at the mall one time, we were with my friends and we got into a fight and I completely ignored her. She was there in the corner alone and I ignored her completely like she wasnt my gf. Some guys even hit on her and she had to shrug them off herself and I didn't do anything. I wouldn't be there for her. When she would have trouble with her parents, she would call me to be there for her and instead I would make things worse by arguing with her over something else. I've threatened to break up with her 4x when we were arguing. Not once did she threaten me. I wouldn't be sweet to her, when she asked me how long do u think we would last and instead of being sweet and saying forever I said 7 months in the beginning of the relationship. I would leave her for my friends sometimes. I would drop her off and just go out with my friends on a saturday night.. I would actually be anxious to leave her too just to be with my friends.. She would cry in front of me and I wouldnt show her emotion. I would just tell her while she's crying you're getting annoying stop crying. After we broke up, I took drastic actions. I removed her from myspace, hid mypictures from myspace (she thought i deleted them), I put I was single in my about me. She would cry to me and I would ignore her.She would call me crying and I would still ignore her. I didn't show her I cared that we broke up because I thought we would get back together within a week. There's more but I just can't remember...
bella16 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Oh boy that doesn't sound good at all... I'm a girl and thinking of all those things in a girls perspective, I'd be hurt. I can actually feel for her in a way because all of that does seem hurtful. You didn't care much when you were with her And you never realize how bad you hurt them until they are gone or still lingering but playing mind games with you because she is resentful in a way. So I'd say back off as much as you possibly can, don't put yourself down, and keep positive! She'll come around eventually if you really want her to and she'll see that you are not contacting her and she'll start to wonder what you are up to!
Author ssj4trunks09 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I ignored her all day Friday and finally picked up on Saturday night. She told me what I did really hurt about ignoring her. She said she missed me so much and even started crying. I found it weird especially after all this time she wasn't showing any emotion that she cared. She also found it messed up that I would do that to her. I simply told her I thought you wanted your space? and she said yeah but not like that.
boogieboy Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 She also found it messed up that I would do that to her. I simply told her I thought you wanted your space? and she said yeah but not like that. You gotta keep giving her the space. She wants space on her terms which means she wants you to pick up when she calls, not when you call. My ex said the same thing, then she wound up dating someone else. Give her space on your terms, nc for a couple days, when she comes crying, you talk about getting back together.
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